Be aground

Foto

I have revealed everything, even though I do not know what I am saying according to what I think. But to be honest, hatred, disappointment and even the desire to destroy everything made me always hold back anger. The anger that I was self-serving in the end hurt my heart.

The tightness and hurt of my own made me feel like I had nothing left. My feelings are meaningless to the one I love. The affection that I had been holding on to until I was tired of myself, even holding back all my selfishness for her turned out to be just a wind that had no meaning.

I stepped my feet hoping that everything we were going through, all we were facing right now was just a game they were doing to me. I thought they were just joking with me. Well I lied to myself about everything that happened, I smiled like nothing happened. When I get home from his place for the last time before I return to the village, I hope all these problems are solved. But in fact, everything is still on the verge of no direction.

As long as Dika escorted me, during that time I leaned my head against Dika's body. Feeling tired of everything that happened made me calm even if only for a moment. And when she got to my friend's place, Dika immediately left without saying anything. And I just saw her go, and the tightness came back because I was afraid that Dika would go see her again after parting ways with me. The fear came with time and it kept happening wherever I went.

*****

A few days later, before the holidays had arrived, we had to go to campus right then and there. And of course I was really lazy, but how else would everyone have to be present at that moment. When I arrived at college, while waiting for other friends, I listened to a song from my phone and enjoyed the song. Suddenly my friend came and greeted me

“Kak, ”<TAG1> said Ina

“Ah, you. Well that's what” said I immediately improved my sitting position

“Widow diligently once ya” says Lya

“There is no work” I said reply

“Then how?” lya said

“Abanya ?” ask me wonder

“That's Dika's problem with sister?” ina said

“That's why I don't know what to do now” said I

I actually don't know what Lya means, and what I should wait for. But I didn't respond to what Lya said, I went back to hearing my song back then. Which then made Lya and Ina look at me with sad faces.

“What's the matter, why is your face like that?” I said I saw them

“Ah, I was wrong kak” said Lya

“What's wrong ?” I said wonder

“This, ah how ya” said Ina

“Asaan anyway, just make curious” said I

“But sister don't get mad ya” said Ina

“Emang you guys made a mistake yes, really scared to apologize so that” said me

Lya immediately gave her phone right then and there, and I who was curious about what she wanted to tell me, I finally saw for myself. A photo of the status of the woman, the status where the two of them took pictures together that leaned against each other. I saw it, completely destroyed. I didn't expect all this time, they had been together even they went alone while Dika and I were dating.

I fell silent and saw the date when the post was made. And how surprised I was to see that date and month already happened years ago. I was devastated and silent at that moment, not knowing that they had been playing behind me for a long time. And then I saw a sentence that the woman made.

“Sorry for those who are hurt because of this. In fact this is what happened”

Proudly they show off their happiness above my suffering. I'm devastated, I've really been played by them. They treat me like I'm just the one they lie to easily. And obviously it was clear, when I just found out they had been doing this for so long and I who always believed in Dika's words made me not expect the pain to get deeper. There was nothing I could do except cry alone.

I'm devastated and wounded Dika, I'm completely destroyed