Be aground

A meaningless reason

Everything made me feel devastated, at the boarding house alone and crying at all times because of the pain that is still felt today. I couldn't keep myself busy because college holidays had arrived. Because of that, before I return to the village, I want to meet once again with Dika. I went back to my friend's house, and waited ten o'clock and thank God I could meet him.

Before I came with such a foolish determination, because I felt ashamed of myself. I am still obsessed with Dika's presence in my life, making me feel like I'm demeaning myself to her. I wish Dika knew that I really meant it to her. I did everything I could to make him come back to me, it was mere talk.

I came on the grounds that I wanted to celebrate his birthday, because by the time his birthday arrived maybe I was already in the village by then. I decided to come with the hope that I would forget everything that happened. Because for me this is the day I can be with him, I dare to step into a place where everything is like hell to me. I stepped up hoping not to see the woman again. But when I got there, I saw Dika and the woman was joking with a happy laugh, like nothing happened.

“Dika” said

Quickly Dika and the woman saw me who was in front of them. Instantly, the woman immediately showed a face that did not like my presence. I didn't care about it and approached Dika back then. While Dika who saw me just fell silent without saying anything while watching the woman who went from before him.

“Can we talk ?” say

He opened the door and we finally came in. After we entered, Dika immediately sat down without saying anything.

“What will you do now ?” ask me

He remained silent without saying anything

“I finally know that everything is just a lie, you want him there for you or me ?” ask me back

“What do you want to say?” dika

“I don't know, I just can't accept the way you guys did me ?” I said with my head down

“I just feel comfortable with him” Dika said

“Since when, since when did you guys do this behind me ?” say

“Since I've worked a month at hotel” said Dika

“Ah when you always say you are tired of working, are you with her ?” say

“Iya” Dika replied with a brief

“Why?” say

“What is given to you until you feel comfortable with it?” say

“He watched me and listened to all my unrest” said Dika

“Then what about me who has been near you” said I

“You are busy in college, do you have time with me ha ?” dika

“So all this time, who always spend time with you who is Dika?” much

“Udah deh, if you want to just discuss this asaku” said Dika

I who heard the reason Dika could only be silent, how could he say this to me. Doesn't he know that I'm the one who's hurt the most here, I'm the one who's holding back the pain here, but why does it feel like everyone is blaming me. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I thought that after I came with a calm heart, Dika would understand what I wanted. But the truth is no, even I was always wrong in front of Dika.

“Then how now ?” my word

“If you want to continue this relationship, let's improve each other, reduce your selfish attitude that” said Dika

“Ha, selfish ?” say

“It was a choice that I love, now it's you who decide how next” said Dika who immediately stood up

I saw that Dika's attitude made me even more ignorant of what to do. I was silent for so long, I forgot about time

“You didn't come home, it's already night” said Dika

I couldn't say anything, I stood up right then and walked away from the place

“Here I take between” said Dika who directly turned on the motor

I just obeyed what Dika said, even though I actually wanted to be angry with Dika's attitude towards me. The attitude that never changed, the attitude that forced me to always give up and the attitude that never said an apology from his lips for me. The mistake he made, was considered just an ordinary mistake that would never leave a wound.

Without him thinking whether the interlocutor or his partner will be hurt or not. He again ruined my hopes for her. Even so, I still wish for her to come back to me. I beg for relationships that really hurt me.