Be aground

Surrender

I've done what I can, well survive the destruction and downfall of this relationship. I who was tired of surviving in the end succumbed to stay away from everything including in Dika's life. A life that only gives me a deepening wound the more hopeless there is. I who had given up on this relationship, ended up not caring about Dika anymore.

His number even his arrival made me not want to anymore. Everything went well again, in his absence and obviously I felt empty, but I could what. Why am I sticking to a relationship that actually can't go back to what it used to be.

A few weeks later Dika came back to me with a face that needed someone beside her. I who initially refused her arrival finally reopened my heart to her.

When Dika says that Dika needs me, well Dika needs me but I also need it. I who was bound to him always cried about his departure from my life.

Love is painful, right ?. Why should I love you too deeply, if in the end that love means nothing to you. I sincerely love you even always give you the spirit of yourself in stepping. Turns out to lose to someone closer to you. Though I was the first one present in your life, I who accompanied you, always gave you time and spirit was defeated by the woman who has the same life story with you.

Dika has returned to me, with a face that so makes me sick, which in the end makes me melt.

“What's up?” I said while sitting near him

“It looks like all will be back as it used to” said Dika“Means ?” I said the confused one

“Are you also going to leave me ?” dika said suddenly while looking at me

I saw Dika feeling sick and immediately took my eyes off her

Dika just fell silent

"When that question should be what I told you, it's not you who told me” I said standing up

Dika who was still silent, only saw me standing in front of him

“I don't know what's wrong with you, but I've been with you this time. I hope you feel better. So go home and rest, because he is waiting for you” I said while looking at Dika

Dika remained silent without saying anything. A few minutes later, Dika went home. And obviously I don't actually want him to come home, I want to hold him back right now. But I was a nobody to him, even I seemed to have no right to return, because in fact when he returned to his boarding house there were already women who would welcome him.

I was broken and always crying for her, I was like a fool who kept hoping for a man I couldn't even reach out to easily. I always try to survive and even accept her presence, because I think when Dika is always near me, maybe Dika will change and obviously I look forward to it from her.

Am I selfish about the change ?. Not everything I do is so I can keep holding on to him. I have always been close to her family so that I can have a good relationship. Even though Dika is not what I want. Obviously, if Dika does not want to compact with my family, because in fact my family until now does not approve of this relationship.

Well the relationship that I have been in for a long time, it turns out that until now there was no blessing from my family and obviously that's why Dika gave up on this relationship and looked for someone who made her feel appreciated.