Be aground

Fearfulness

The sedu sedan girl in front of me had stopped. A glimmer of spirit re-ignited from his puffy eyes. And of course, the smile that always makes me miss back to decorate those lips. Luckily in this treatment room there was no other patient, so he could completely release his emotions.

His laughter broke again as his crying subsided. Although the black clouds seemed to still close my sun, but the luminance of light gradually began to reveal darkness. Until it was warm again I felt.

Just now the stiffness between us began to melt, the sound of Runa's cell phone ringing paused. I pulled the cell phone I had in my pocket since noon. The man's name is back there. My heart warmed, as I handed the flat object into the hands of the girl who was weakly rolled in the gurney.

Seeing the way Runa received the phone, made a sense of jealousy present. My greatest fear right now is that his heart has been owned by another heart. Even when I asked about her relationship with the man, the girl's emotions rose again.

I didn't expect it to be this fast she replaced me in her heart. Could it be that the sun has moved to illuminate the other hemisphere, until its usual light of warmth to me dims.

"Yes, you rest. I want to buy a drink first," I said as I got up from my seat.

"I'm sorry, Juni. My mind was really messed up again" he said regretting the emotional outburst he had just aimed at me.

"It's ok, I'm wrong," I said to review a faint smile at him.

Someone suddenly opened the door from the outside, coinciding with my hand about to pull the door handle. We almost collided. Man, it's almost the same posture as me. Height about 185 centimetres with proportional body. His eyes glared sharply when facing me.

"Sorry, who's it?" ask me before he comes in.

"This is really the room where Runa was treated?"

"Yes. Who is this?" askaku.

"I'm Beni. You must be Arjun?" the sap is friendly, reaching out to shake hands.

"D-yes." I greeted his hand awkwardly. The man who made my heart heat up is now present face to face.

No wonder Runa quickly turned to this man. Kharismanya.

"Eh, please come in. Runa is resting." I pulled over so the man could get in. Although this heart was never willing to let Runa be alone with him in this room.

"Thanks, Bro! Uh, sorry the phone broke, my phone is lowbat," he said.

"Yes." Yeah." I stepped out, without looking at Runa again. Hope this heart will be ready to accept anything later that the girl will say for the clarity of our relationship.

****

I was about to enter the elevator when I heard a familiar voice calling out to me.

"June!" I saw my mother approach me with her graceful steps, as usual. His hand held a pretty big goody bag. "Who is the same moon above? In living alone?" tanyanya. His eyes still look puffy. Maybe I didn't stop crying all day after I left.

"There's a friend from Jakarta coming" I said with a faint smile. I don't know why there is a sense of bitter when saying it.

"Disturb me if Mama comes in?"

"Looks non-existent. Yuk, Mum!" take me, take over the goody bag that turned out to be quite heavy from his hands, and embrace your shoulder as usual.

Even though she was not the mother who had given birth to me, she was still the mother who had given up her time to take great pains to look after me from childhood. The mother who always made sure I could live well without the slightest bit I felt she was not the woman who had given me to the world. The affection he gave me all this time was really sincere.

His smile expanded, even though the tip of his eyes were wet again. Mama hurriedly wiped the tip of her eyes with a handkerchief that had been grasped earlier.

"Mama don't worry about me staying. She is the only woman that no one will ever replace. Without Mama, I would be like this. Maybe if Mama didn't have the idea to take me, I'd end up in an orphanage," I comforted the middle-aged woman still in my arms.

Luckily it was just the two of us in the elevator, so no one needed to witness this emotion-laden scene.

Mama wiped her tears again.

"I'm sorry Mama, just tell you now. Mama can't afford to lose two loved ones at once" she said in a choked voice.

I took a deep breath. If only mom had told me earlier, of course my dealings with Runa would not have been as complicated. But I was just silent, unable to say it. I'm afraid I'll add to my mother's grief.

***

"Run .. There's Mama coming," I said as I opened the door.

"Tante, I'm sorry .. I'm so confident," said Runa forcing a smile as she approached.

"ah! No, sweetie," my mom said with a sincere smile. "Who is this?" greet the friendly mama as Beni stands welcoming our arrival.

"Art, Aunt. I am a friend of Runa from Jakarta," he said politely.

"Well! Sorry Auntie bothers."

"No, really, Tan. Please." The chair she was sitting on was handed over to her mother.

"Thank you, yeah!"

"I'm saying goodbye, Auntie," she said as she sat down.

"Eh? Want to go back to Jakarta again?"

"No, go down first."

"Oh! Aye." Yeah." Mama nodded slowly back to look at Runa.

"You really want to know the thesis? I must have forgotten to eat right." Mom's hand stroked Runa's arm.

I saw the girl's eyes look sad, but there were no tears there. Her smile though weak, curving sweetly looked at mama.

"Not aunty, go after the target. He-he," she's weak.

Mama talked to Runa like she was talking to her own child, so warm and affectionate. I just stole a glance while playing a cell phone. Sometimes the girl's eyes glanced at me.

"Tonight let the mama who accompanied Runa, huh?" Mama turned to look at me.

"Eh? What ...."

"No need, Tan. Auntie got bothered," she refused before I could answer.

"Tante also has an event tomorrow. If there's anything with you, what? The bad part of sick people is left alone," said mama.

"But, tan ...."

"Already! Don't worry. Consider your own mother, yes!" tepis mama, as if receiving no excuses from the girl.

"Yes, now you rest. Aunty comes out first so you can sleep," said mama while standing up.

***

Mom and I sat in the cafeteria. Curiosity made him constantly ask what happened to me and Runa along the way to the cafeteria.

Finally the story that I had kept for a long time, was revealed already. Just like when I heard the secret that my mother kept, this woman in front of me was no less surprised after hearing the story of my relationship with Runa.

"Oh my God, Jun! Mama didn't expect it to be like this" she pressed her temple with her fingertips. "What do you have to do so you can be together again?" tanyanya then, raised her face looking at me.

"Please pray, Mom. May Runa's heart still be there for me" I said in a desperate tone.

Remembering the figure of Beni, making my confidence slumped again. If asked to choose, of course Runa will choose the man. An adult male who can care for him.

As for me, only men have always depended on him, men who cannot give him any strength. When compared to that man, I was like a child who wished I could embrace the sun. Always whining when the sun was sinking and again laughing cheerfully when he was present, unwilling to understand that the sun would not forever shine.

"Mama, always pray for the best for you, Jun. Sorry this is all because my mom wasn't being frank from the start. Mama did not know there would be something like this that would be a problem," sorry mama again rubbed the tip of her eyes that look tired.

"Aamiinu. My mother's prayers are enough for me."

Right now I just need to believe. If it is our destiny to be together, God will make it easier for everyone. Although a glimmer of hope to return with him again foundered.