Be aground

Old guests

I was flabbergasted after hearing Arjun reveal the facts about his life. Groping in disbelief. Scrutinizing back his face, looking for the truth from his brown eye bead.

"Lo doesn't make up stories, does he, Jun?"

Only those words came out of my lips. "Kok Lo, you're so rich, not sad?" imbuhku.

"The saddest thing in my life, after my parents' divorce, was losing Lo, Run!" he exclaimed in a slightly elevated tone, making several pairs of eyes in the reading room where we had been telling stories, stealing glances at us.

"Shhh! The melanin sounds Lo! Not good at hearing people." I put my hands in his mouth, half whispering.

"Kok, you're not sad to know that Lo's not their real child?" back I investigated, still in a half-whispering voice. In my mind, Arjun will drop after learning that he is not the biological child of his parents.

Sitting face to face like this with him, made my heart re-expose the width of the door I almost closed for him. I'm desperate because a new relationship has not gone as long as a corn, run aground.

But now, everything seems to be turned back. My common sense seems to be tested to accept this truth. I looked back at the face I had missed for a few months. I wanted to throw myself into his arms, and tell him how I never could let go.

"Why should I be sad. Even though I was only a foster child, I took care of me with great affection. The proof is I can grow up to this handsome, right?" He raised his eyebrows, trying to joke. Nevertheless, I caught a glimpse of the bitterness hanging over those sharp eyes.

"Not funny!" my sergeant, between happy mixed confused.

"Eh, I have to turn Riko's bike first. Go back to my house, yuk! I was gone so I did ninggalin nyokap, "his jolt.

Sitting in a piggy bank with Arjun, making the high wall I had built over the past few months to hold back feelings, instantly collapsed. Various feelings of uncertainty, spilling just like that. I want to hold her tight. Don't want to let go, but my sane mind holds back from doing so.

****

"Gue thought why Lo kayak doormat that pushed the motor broke down, he wanted to pick up Runa doang!" cecar Riko when we got to the workshop, where Riko was waiting.

"Runa! Determinants of my future, this!" Arjun. "Thanks, yes Bro! Lo services I will not forget. Is there anything I can do to make the girl Lo not angry?" his tone softened, patting slowly on Riko's shoulder who looked still upset.

I laughed at the two friends' discussion. Riko's face looks so upset, while Arjun looks so guilty. Then suddenly my ears clinked, a bright light turned dark instantly, making me unable to hear the debate of the two friends anymore.

***

"Run?"

I faintly saw the silhouette of someone's dashing figure, then the figure began to look real, as the pungent smell that made my memory remember mother, entered my nose cavity. The hospital smell.

"Lo's conscious?" Arjun's face looked so worried.

"Where's gue?" ask me to make sure. Although I know, right now I'm lying in a hospital bed.

"At the hospital, Lo suddenly fainted. I'm really surprised." Arjun gently rubbed the back of my hand.

"ah! Sorry ...." I tried to get up, but the dizziness made me feel like I was going to take out all the stomach contents.

"Lo don't sit down. Still dizzy. Not having breakfast again?" his pedicab.

"Breakfast, but cereal doang," I grimaced. I saw on the back of the hand, a pink abocath embedded there, connected by a small hose to a pole supporting the infusion fluid. "I think I'm a saucer, deh," I added trying to ease Arjun's worries.

"Lo typhus symptoms," some brief.

"Huh? Any timing? But I can go home today, right?"

"Said the doctor, you must rest first two or three days. Look at Lo entar's condition. Fever is also high. Not feeling what, Lo's condition is not good so, still make a way up to Nangor. If Lo fainted on the street how?" His back-lash sounds so upset, but full of worry.

I grunt softly. Yesterday morning I was not feeling well, but I forced to pursue the signature of my main guide, so that I could immediately register for the trial. I want to graduate soon and go back to Jakarta to see mom.

Then a shade of Kak Beni's face was present. The man was forgotten. The hope that yesterday had been dashed against Arjun, immediately reappeared like a new bud in the spring after hearing the story of Arjun.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset Lo Run. I'm worried" he said weakly.

"Gue wants to register for the trial, Jun. Let's go back quickly with mom. So I Bela-belain stay up late, chasing the lecturer until no time remember ...." I sighed softly. "And stay give my guidance counselor approval tomorrow. I can wait for the trial schedule. If I think so, I'll have to wait again." My eyes are starting to heat up.

"Why is God the same as me, Jun? Though I have been heartened to receive the verdict of Nyokap disease. Now when I was almost at the end of the struggle, even given a stumbling block again. Sick I fell many times like this."

"Csh ... Don't let God get angry because of the words, Lo. If I make a list of the congregation, I will help tomorrow. You just think about being refreshed when the trial is later." Arjun's words opened the door of hope that had almost closed.

I rubbed my eyes, forcing a smile back. "Thank you, Jun!" I said with a still voice.

"Not a smile, ugly!" the lead's poking the end of my nose. "Gue know, you've been nahanin from yesterday, isn't that sad?" guess Arjun.

I nodded slowly. Rejecting the clear liquid that has returned. The burden that I do not know how long I keep trying to look cheerful, continues to accumulate like bubbling magma, ready to spill at any time. Makes my chest back tight.

"Cry, Run. There is no ban on girls crying like guys," he said with a faint smile. The smile that always makes me miss.

***

"Lega, right?" arjun said after I shed all the piles of burden that had been stuck. My eyes hurt, my nose swollen.

"Udah, you go home!" push me to cover my face. My face looks broken after crying.

"Bad cow? Bereave emotions, and I was told to leave. Am I a trash can?" his protest with a face made sad.

"My face is ugly when I cry. I'm embarrassed."

"You're like a granny, I still love Elo."

"Boye, ah! That's where it used to be."

"Ha-ha, no ah! I'm still missing," he refused.

The ringing of the cell phone stopped the movement of my hand that was about to latch Arjun's ear.

"Handphone Lo, here." Arjun handed me my phone he kept in his pants pocket.

I saw the water change shortly after seeing the name of the contact on the screen.

"Hello, sister," said slowly. My eyes were still fixed on Arjun's face that turned sour, then lowered his head, to calm his misgivings-changing heart.

"Run, I'm already in Bandung. What hospital are you in?" The worried voice of Brother Beni is so obvious.

"Kak Beni know who I'm in the hospital from?"

"When I called, a guy picked up. He's your girlfriend. I was worried you were wondering why, so go straight to Bandung. You actually went to the hospital?"

I looked at Arjun who was still looking at me sharply. "Yes, that was like Arjun. He's the one who took me to the hospital" I said honestly.

Silence pauses.

"It was you, right? You turned him back again? Didn't you say you couldn't be together anymore?" Kak Beni's tone full of search.

"Sister, I just woke up. Please don't talk about this first. I'm still dizzy." Suddenly in his tone of speech.

"ah! Sorry," he said as if awake. "What hospital are you in?"

I disconnected the phone after telling the name of the hospital where I was treated to Beni. Looked at Arjun who was still locking his eyes on me.

"That's who? New guy, Lo?" the tanya was cold, making me shudder.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys? Can't wait for me to come back fresh and ask questions like that?" my voice with a high tone. Emotions that had decreased, back up to the crown.

"Sorry, Run! I just don't want to lose you a second time" Arjun said in a hurt tone.

I had to face two choices again. Is it possible that I could just leave Brother Beni without getting him hurt. Make it a place to lean on when grieving, then leave it when someone I've longed for is back.

Then, is it possible that I will continue to be with him, while my heart is still attached to Arjun. And the obstacle that keeps me and Arjun from being together has collapsed. Isn't this what I wanted from before? Living with Arjun.

God, is this what else I have to face?