Be aground

Deep wound

The love I fought for from my high school to my 5th semester ended just because of a woman who even knew that Dika and I were dating. The woman who lived next door to Dika. The woman I never even met during my visit to Dika's place. I didn't even get a feeling when I opened the phone. Chat even the photos or whatever it was I never found from Dika. And it made me believe fully in Dika that Dika was the one who was worthy of me. Although sometimes he sucks but I never thought Dika would do this to me. Crushed and messy made my mood always want to cry considering what happened.

I was silent and could not say anything, all my race was dark and colorless. And I pretended to enjoy a day that even made me sick of stepping up. I also forgot everything, both from the arrival of Dika and the others. I ended up walking alone to be able to forget Dika. By not giving word and even removing her number from my contact, but the word break up has not been spoken until now. When we did the same thing, for a few weeks we had no news at all. And during that week, I kept crying over Dika's behavior to me. Because in fact I always try to be the best but all I get is a disappointment.

I came back with my days, without him and tried to accept everything. I think I can definitely forget about Dika and I hope Dika won't call me, although I honestly expected his presence but after what happened I always remembered everything Dika said casually to me without thinking about my feelings. I who is currently in college just play my phone to eliminate my feelings, until finally the tone of the call sounds. And obviously, that nickname got me back hurt. The name I made my dear nickname for her. I paused for a moment to see the name, until suddenly the call ended. I quickly took my eyes off the phone, and again the ringtone rang again.

I who saw the name, turned my eyes back as if the call did not exist. I was trying to enjoy the view outside. Finally the call ended, and there was no more call and of course I was relieved. Since there was actually no disturbance that I would experience, I thought it was like that. The ringing tone had indeed stopped, but the tone of the message kept coming to make me upset.

calling me, obviously right now Dika called me and it makes me happy. But given Dika's way towards me, it finally made me hold everything. I put the phone back down without caring about the message from him. Because my disappointment for him is still imprinted, although honestly I want to reply to the message. Because of his life for these few weeks, I really miss him.

Am I not so foolish about this painful love ?. How not, Dika has hurt me this deep, but why am I still expecting it ?. Why do I still miss him who never even cared about my feelings ?.

Will this deep love continue to experience this kind of story ? I'm honestly tired of it but I always hang on