Be aground

The Embedded Word

I was still silent and did not see Dika, while Dika still held me tightly. Until finally the hug came off

“What's up, don't you miss me?” said Dika who immediately saw my face

“Rindu?, do I deserve?” I said that I left him immediately

“Why do you say so?” said Dika who followed me from behind

“You must already know the answer, then why should I tell you” I said

“Already Vit, I don't want to argue, I came here because I miss you, is it wrong?” dika

I just fell silent to see Dika, well obviously I want to get angry, I want to cry even I want to ask this unclear relationship. The relationship that made me burdened even tortured me so much. Because every time I want to take it off, Dika comes easily without guilt and says the word say, miss even love without seeing how my position. And obviously I still receive all the words given to me by accepting and even giving a smile to him.

Maybe I was such a stupid person who always accepted everything, a stupidity that really broke me easily. I was asked what I expected of the man. Of course there is nothing, but the love and affection that has already made me not want to let go easily. Even I want to show that there is genuine love that can be obtained from me. Although I always cry because of her I always try to smile for her. Which in the end I'm the one who's hurt deep, compared to him who never appreciates me.

****

A few weeks later, Dika always came to me, even I did not know what was with Dika, even Dika no one said anything to me. Only I know Dika is back in the woman's house. They came back to live together, and it made me even less anxious to be with her. However, Dika always explained that the woman was in the village.

Being in the same place as the events I had experienced, let alone the ones I could trust from Dika. Everything that was said was a lie, all including him who said he would always be there for me, who loved me and even reflected me. I'm used to finally pretending that everything's okay. Well all the pain is now imprinting in me.

It doesn't matter how deep it's given to me, because I don't care anymore. Until finally, at a time that really made me tired, Dika who came to me, finally spoke to me.

“Vit, may I say something” Dika said

I just saw him sitting next to me, without speaking.

“I want to be free, I want to step to a place where I feel calm” said Dika

“Then, what do you want to do?” say

“Yeah, this might take a long time for you and me, but I've thought of everything” said Dika

“What do you think?” my word

“Waiting you?” I said heraan

“Well, I want this time to be free, after that I will come back to you and keep my promise to you” said Dika

“Do you want to marry her?” my word

Dika saw me at that moment with a serious face

“Why did you say that, I will not marry a woman like her. She is not the woman I expected” said Dika reassured me.

“Then why do you want to leave my life?” I said ask

“Well because I want to be free, and also I will come to you again. When I came, you were ready to be with me.” said Dika

“You asked me to wait for you, I will wait for you” I said

“Please promise, you will wait for me” said Dika who smiled at me

“Iya, I promise. But until when do I wait for you?” said I saw it

“When you graduate and get a job, I will come to you” said Dika

“Alright, but may I ask one thing” I said

“What is it” Dika said

“Am I no longer important?” say

“Can I tell you Vit, if asked if I regret it or not, I will say. I do not regret leaving you.” said Dika who even pointed at me with her serious face

That was when, my heart was completely broken, how Dika could heartily say this to me without thinking about what I had done all for him. Everything I do has no meaning in my life.

Dika left after he said that, without seeing my completely destroyed self. I cried alone, even the crying was really painful. Something that even makes me unable to calm down. Destroyed well all destroyed so easily for him who said everything.