Be aground

Resist Anxiety

The hospital parking lot this afternoon was quite quiet, probably because it was Sunday, so it was not so difficult to find a parking space. We got a parking lot not far from the building where mom was being treated.

Beni's sister helped me remove the seat belt, after many times it flinch when I open it from the link. Once again, the perfume that Beni's sister wore greeted my sense of smell. The smell provoked my heart to beat faster. Not because the perfume was Beni's sister, but the fragrance of cedar contained in the perfume always reminded me of the masculine figure of Arjun. Without realizing my face was warming.

"Well, it's gone." Brother Beni's voice broke my daydream. His eyes stopped for a moment staring at my face.

I looked like a thief caught off guard. Don't want Beni to be mistaken for the hue my face showed when it warms up.

"Thank you, brother," I hurried to pull the door lever and darted out of the car.

"I drove it all the way inside, yeah," he said equalling my steps.

"Eh ... Thank you, brother," I said without looking at him.

My face is still hot. This time it was more because of the shame because of the incident. I can think of Arjun with other people.

"What's the pain, Run?" Beni's sister started the conversation when we entered the hospital building.

I gasped, it was too heavy for my mouth to tell someone else about my mother's illness. Especially that person I just knew.

"Eh, sorry I don't mean to kepo," he said later when I saw me still not directly answer his question.

"He-he, yes," I said confusedly looking for the right sentence to state the reason for my refusal.

"Not to think about it. Not all questions need to be answered." Beni's voice again sounded between the silent hospital hallway. It feels so calming. Typical of an adult male.

I just nodded in response to Beni's last sentence. Sinking back into my mind. For the day I felt devastated when I heard Maktuo convey my mother's illness. Today, the pieces of hope I gathered little by little, reassembling them formed a new hope.

At least I'm still lucky. Still surrounded by people who care about me. They gave me the moral support I needed. In addition, the way my mother dealt with her illness also makes me optimistic.

We walk in silence. The hospital hallway felt so quiet. Only occasionally did the ringing of the door hinges open and the squeaking of the sole of the shoes of someone who was tracing the floor walk away.

I circulated my gaze across the hospital hall, where there was a well-maintained garden that looked soothing, between the towering hospital buildings as if looking at me arrogantly. My hair stood up to realize how cold the air felt in this building, among the heat of Jakarta.

I sped up the pace, wanting to be immediately in the room where mom was being treated. Beni hastened his pace. It wasn't so hard for him to line up my long steps with his legs. Until I finally stopped, standing in front of a door. The door to the room where the mother was treated.

Breathe deeply before pulling the door knob. I still have to strengthen my heart every time I enter this room. Wishing you to welcome me with a warm smile like you used to.

"Assalamualaik." I pulled down the door knob and bent my head before actually entering.

In the room turned out to have been uda Indra and his wife—kak Asti.

"Waalaikum salam, uh Runa," welcome Asti.

Her beautiful face looks more sweet with a smile that adorns her when I see her coming.

"It's been a while, brother?" I asked when greeting my cousin's sister-in-law.

"Nyampe as well. This is Runa's girlfriend, right?" point at Asti when you see Beni coming with me.

"Eh ... Not brother ...." I'm excited, not ready to be asked such a question.

"I'm Beni, a friend of Vienna's. Vienna again can not anter, so I nawarin myself to nganter," cut Beni brother greet Asti.

"Ooh ... Kirain's boyfriend Vienna, I'm sorry, ha-ha," Asti's rut looks awkward.

Wow, it turns out that Beni's smart brother also controls the situation. I breathe a sigh of relief. What would happen if Beni brother did not answer like that, I could be months of Meli sama kak uda Indra.

"Eh, Runa has arrived. It's okay to stay, right? Maktuo's going to Asti's cousin." My mother's sister looked neat and fragrant when she came out of the bathroom.

"Yes, there's no maktuo. Later that night Runa nginep. Tomorrow we will return to Bandung."

"You go home as usual, tomorrow you go back to Bandung in the afternoon," suggested motuo, "if you stay here, you can be invited to talk, you can not go home tomorrow."

"Ha-ha, yes-yes maktuo."

It turns out that Maktuo really thinks about the health of the mother to the extent. I really feel grateful, blessed by a family that supports each other like this.

"Well, maktuo go first. If this afternoon it's okay to talk until you're satisfied with your mother," kekeh maktuo rubbed my back as usual.

"Then, I am also saying goodbye to auntie," said Brother Beni. Experiencing one by one everything in the mother's care room.

I asked my mother for permission to take Brother Beni to the door.

"Not bothered. I'm glad I could take you." He smiled gently. "Let's pick me up again, yeah," he said later.

"Eh, don't do it, brother. Very repot."

"No, tomorrow you are back in Bandung. I don't know when I'll see you again. Can, huh?"

I was confused as to what to answer. I refuse, he will still pick me up. If you answer yes, fear is considered to be utilizing.

"I-yes, but don't make it if you're busy." Finally the words came out of my mouth.

"OK." Back that warm smile spread on her lips, complementing the attraction on her macho face.

I'm not fascinated by Beni. Just the way he treated me made me a little bit comfortable. Just this time I felt like this other than Arjun.

After Beni's sister disappeared at the end of the stairs, I turned back to where mom was. Found mom smiling.

This time the mother's face has begun to look bright, plus the sunlight coming from the window beside the bed. The charm of the mother's face that was lost yesterday, has returned again.

"Mom's starting to feel fresh, huh?" I returned my mother's smile. The happy aura that my mother's smile emanated, rubbed off on me.

"Alhamdulillah, already. Especially this morning, the shower can be shampooed. Yesterday it felt sticky all over mom's head," mama's chuckle.

"Eh, Mom's infusion has been removed, huh?" I just realized that in the hands of the mother is no longer attached to the infusion set.

"Yes, from last night. Mom's not so nauseous anymore. Mom's appetite has gone up, so the doctor says it's okay to remove the infusion."

"Alhamdulillah, may the condition of the mother improve."

I sat on the edge of the bed, massaging my mother's legs.

"Beni likes you, huh?" Mom's guess caught me off guard.

"Eh, how did you say that?" I put on a face pretending not to know.

"Mom can see the way she looks at you." Seringai jahil adorning lips mother. "Your face why is it red? Right, guys? What did you expect?"

"He-he, yes." That's all I can say. Shame runs through my heart.

Well, why do I still feel ashamed talking about something like this with mom.

"How did you feel about him?" This time, my voice sounded probing.

"Yes, there's no sense of anything, ma'am. In my heart there's only Arjun .. uh ...." I kept my mouth shut because I told my mother that shameful thing.

Besides I'm afraid I think that Arjun has shifted his position from my heart. Though the place of mother and father in my heart will never be shifted by anyone. They occupy an eternal space in my heart.

"Why? How come it's red on his face?"

"He-he .. I'm ashamed, Mother ..." I misbehaved.

"Why should I be ashamed? Liking the opposite sex is already human nature, really. Just don't be blurred," said mom pinching the tip of my nose. "here." Mom pulled me closer.

I shifted my body closer to my mother. Usually mom asked me to sit next to her just to brush my hair, telling her what came to mind.

Sure enough, my mother turned my body behind her. Mom's hand untied my hair and gently swept each strand.

If the condition of the mother is not like this, a time like this is a happy moment for me.

"Just yesterday it felt like I was leaving and braiding two of your hair when entering Kindergarten, now it's this big. It's a grown woman." Mother's voice sounded vibrating.

I turned to look at mother, mother's eyes were wet. Seeing my mother cry is a rare sight for me. Makes me unable to hold back my tears and slashes into my mother's arms. I feel that I am still his little girl first, the girl who every morning always noisily asked to be tied hair to mother. Always whining when asking for cotton candy sold by mamang in front of the school, when he picked me up.

I haven't been able to do much to repay her love, hoping God will prolong her life, do us a little miracle. So that I can present my success to my mother. As my life as a child.

I hugged my mother tightly. Wanted to give her a little strength, but it seems like I am currently the one seeking strength from her embrace.

"Mom, must be strong. I want to be with Mom forever" I said.

Life and death are certain, but not everyone is ready to accept the reality when their loved ones are overshadowed by death. May God give me a speck of His love. So that I can feel the affection of my mother, the woman who became the connector of God's hand on earth.