Be aground

The saved number

All the dreams, hopes, and future plans that I had neatly planned, were spoiled instantly. Unable to be accepted by my common sense. My soul feels shaken. All this time I was too arrogant, felt God loved me too much, spoiled me to make me fall asleep. I forgot, there is a power that can overturn all my dreams and dreams in an instant.

In the third of this night I fell back and bowed before Him. A speck of compassion for me. My life is like a ship that ran aground before sailing. Just now my screen has been developed, a storm is brewing. Destroying the ark I had so badly built.

"Lord, I don't know what plan you've prepared for me" I cried.

The dawn trail began to be seen from the sidelines of the curtains covering the window. The shadow of his throne is like the embers of fire that have scorched the soul. I am still faithful on the prayer mat. The cold, biting air I don't care about anymore. My heart feels more cold.

"Jun, are you awake?" Mama's voice accompanied by a knock on the door sounded weak outside the room.

I hurried to open the door. Last night, Mama apologized to me many times for not being able to maintain her relationship with papa. I do not understand why the mother who must apologize, while papa without any guilt, can easily replace the position of the mother in his heart.

"Here you go, Ma." I say behind the door.

Mama's puffy eyes, proving that mama last night also can not close her eyes. The pain was again present, growing my seedlings hate on papa. Either what kind of woman he was looking for, to make a perfect creature like mama he just ignored.

"Today's college, right? What do you want to make your breakfast?" tanyanya gently. Very briefly, my mother tried to recover the pieces of heart that had been broken.

"Yes morning college, Mam. Whatever you're mama masakin, I've always liked." I forced a smile.

"Then, you get ready. Mama Masakin special breakfast for mama's children," he said, then left me who was still staring at the door.

"Thank you, Mama." My voice resembled a squeak that my mother could hardly hear anymore. His body disappeared behind the stairs without a sound.

I turned back to the room. Life must go on, no matter how broken. I had to get up to put together a new piece of the puzzle, so as not to linger on the slump. There is no room for the weak. The world I live in is too cruel for those who show weakness. That's what I instilled in my heart after being a bully victim many times.

When I was about to step into the bathroom, my eyes caught a flicker of light on the screen of the phone I put on a small table beside the bathroom door. The face of the girl who had always been deeply imprinted in my heart adorned that five-inch screen.

Missing, calling present. Even though I just met him yesterday. However, the problems that occurred between us made me feel a great distance from him.

I stared at the long flashing screen, rubbing the face plastered on the screen before sliding the call receipt.

"Hello, Run?" sapaku tried to shake the bitterness felt. "I'm picking you up as usual, huh?" imbuhku.

"Yes ... It's okay, Jun?" His voice sounded weak.

"Yes, it's okay. Don't worry," I said, understanding where the conversation was going.

"Thank God, I'd like a few. Bye Jun's." If the one Runa called was not me, they would have been fooled by her voice that just sounded cheerful, but I who had known her almost like myself, felt that joy was made up. The characteristic of Runa that always covers the problem.

Getting closer to the kitchen, the aroma of mama's cooking successfully made my stomach wriggle. The smell of salted fish with spices combined with the aroma of burnt banana leaves wafted in the air.

"Well! Mama's making grilled rice?" I sat down on the bar stool. Mama's baked rice is my favorite breakfast.

"Yes. It's been a while, huh? Mama is not cooking grilled rice." a packet of grilled rice that is still hot on the table. Complete with tea tubruk jasmine aroma in a small teapot of pottery. It was like eating at a Sundanese restaurant. "Mama is also ready for Runa. Love Runa, yeah."

Hearing the name of the girl called, my movement to open the pack of grilled rice stopped, unfortunately my attention did not escape to see the change in my face. Yesterday I did not tell my mother about my problems with Runa. The problems he faced were already strange, I did not want to add to the burden of his feelings.

"Why, Jun? You have a problem with Runa?" Mama sat across from me with a full face.

"Ah, the usual problem Mam. Mama I don't know," I said, showing off a smile again to ward off turmoil.

"Ah, yes. Hope your relationship is okay, Runa girl is good. Mama's been with him." The words that you say are like drops of acid water poured on a wound. Bemoan.

I just replied with a nod, couldn't stand it much longer as if everything was fine. Mama's kiss to smell something wrong is sharp, I don't want you to catch this mess.

"Mam, I go first" I said to my mom after finishing two servings of grilled rice. To heal a broken heart requires a lot of energy. "Where are you going today?"

"Today mama wants to take care of some files, but at most it will be a bit roadblocked." There was a shiver I caught from my mother's tone of voice. I see, the file you're referring to is the file for their divorce.

I still hope, papa reconsiders his decision. I hope our family is back in one piece.

The cloud was welcoming when I got out of the house. As if I felt my pain. Everything felt gray, even the busy Tubagus Ismail road, felt so quiet.

Approaching Runa's house, I saw that girl was already waiting in front of the fence. His long black hair was tied up in a ponytail. Wearing jeans as usual. A navy sweater over a gray shirt, like the one I wore, wrapped around her slender body. If only our circumstances were not like this, I would have welcomed him with the temptation of wearing the same clothes without a promise.

The girl seemed to be drowning in her daydream, usually she reacted immediately when my car approached. This time even my presence he did not notice, even though I was standing next to him.

"Come on! Depart." I stood right in front of her, making the girl gasp, unprepared for my sudden arrival.

"Eh! How I don't realize Lo's coming," he said.

"Lo daydreams. Comeing! The hunt is jammed," asked me to open the car door.

Runa entered with a clumsy movement. Sitting awkwardly on the seat he used to occupy. Let me close the door for him.

Although Runa's eyes were not as puffy as mama's, it was clear that the light dimming in those eyes revealed the owner was grieving. My eyes are covered in a storm. My world feels dark already. I don't know when he'll be back to shine as before.