Love, Let it Get Lost

Stuck

I kept thinking about what Mama Ben told me. I don't know it turns out that the problem that Ben experienced was also so heavy, all this time he tried to hide his death for the sake of solving his problems.

“Faw?” Call Mama Ben, because I look confused thinking about something.

“You will forgive Mama as well Ben?” Ask Mama Ben.

I nodded my head so worriedly. Mama Ben smiled with haru.

“Then you want to come back with Ben?” His question again surprised me.

“Back with Ben?” Ask me to make sure the question is not wrong I heard.

“Iya Faw's. Come back with Ben, be happy with him, Mama and Papa have greatly blessed you” said Mama Ben with a happy smile.

“No Ma” answer me.

This time he looked surprised and looked at me in confusion.

“I can't go back with Ben”

“Why? you have forgiven us, right?”

“I've forgiven you guys, even yesterday I met with Ben and told him I've forgiven all his mistakes, but I also asked Ben not to see me again”

“Fawnia ,please. You can talk about it first, Mama sure you guys still love each other and there is still hope for your marriage”

“Ma. When I found out Ben was really dead, my feelings must still be there for him even until a while ago. But after I found out he was alive and had lied to me, my feelings for Ben were gone. I can no longer cultivate my feelings for Ben”

“Fawnia Mama please very, Mama wants to restore happiness Ben. For 4 years in Kalimantan Ben has suffered a lot, and Mama did not have the heart to see when he returned home here he had to suffer from” again

When I was lonely for 4 years yesterday struggling alone to support Kara, it turns out Nicko and Ben have suffered because they are waiting for me. They're both sick, they both love me, but my choice remains with Nicko. Because he's Kara's biological father, and Nicko is more worthy to be my husband than Ben. At least Nicko never lied to me.

“I want to marry Ma”

Mama Ben fell silent, he looked me in disbelief.

“I want to marry Nicko or who Mama knows with Mr. Ferdy”

“Pak Ferdy? Your boss?”

“Iya Ma, the story is long. The point is that Nicko and I have been friends since we were children, and our parents are so close friends, even the company Nicko holds now, that is the stub of the late Papa ku”

“Then you guys decided to marry”

“Iya” answered me so heavily.

Mama took a breath, and then she thought hard. He looked confused and anxious, but I could not make any effort to calm him down.

“Fawnia, Ben has been so depressed, he looks so sad at home, if you see him too you will surely pity to see his”

Nicko Ma was so depressed when he was looking for me, and I married Ben instead. Say me in my heart.

“My decision cannot be canceled Ma, I will get married next week. We've prepared all of them. And again my status has become a single parent in the law of the country, my status in the stay dead husband, although it turns out Ben has not died , but my status is already valid own”

Mama Ben no longer spoke he kept silent no matter what he was thinking.

“Whatever you're doing now for Ben is too late Ma. Maybe it's also our fault, because I never want to be honest with you, I can't blame Mama's bad attitude on me, because it's true, I was a careless woman who had been pregnant by another man but instead married to Ben, Mama”'s favorite child

My words offended her scolding long ago.

“I'm sure Ben will find any woman who accepts Ben as is”.

“Which accepts Ben can not give children?” Mama said disappointedly.

“Ma. There will always be a way, Ben will definitely find the right woman who will accept him with all his flaws. And marrying me, it also cannot be justified by Ma, because our marriage is based not on love, but on compromise. However the child I bear still has a father and he is still alive”

“I'm the irresponsible Ma, I who never told her if I had pregnant her child, and I instead decided to hide her from her”

“And why did you choose Nicko to be with you Faw, that child was not his son either. Though Ben has loved your son with all his heart, why do you even miss Ben and choose someone else?”

“Because Nicko is the biological father of my son” I said at last.

I can't hide this from Mama Ben anymore, she's just as entitled to know so she can be quiet and no longer force me to come back with her child.

As I had expected, Mama Ben would definitely be very astonished at my statement. His eyes were so round, his mouth opened so surprised, he looked at me seriously.

“The child in your body is Mr Ferdy's son?”

“Iya. And from the beginning I never told Nicko or his family about it. But now they finally know, and ask us soon marry”

“I'm sorry Ma, I really can't go back with Ben” said I apologize so sincerely.

After a deep conversation with Mama Ben was over, I went home by booking a taxi online. On the way home in the car, I kept staring out the window thinking about everything that had happened to me.

It turns out that being happy with Nicko is not as easy as I imagined. Nicko and I still have to deal with our problems coming from other people.

Suddenly my phone vibrated in the bag. It's from Nicko, I picked it up right away.

“Hallo”

“Where are you?” Ask him without saying anything.

“I'm on my way home by taxi online”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes I'm good, well once”

“Where to talk”

Then the sound of the phone changing hands.

“Hallo Ma”

“Hay darling”

“Mama where haven't come home?”

“This Mama on the road”

“Mama same Papa kok back home with?”

“Iya Mama will have another job, so Mama asked Papa to go home first”

“Mama quick home ya”

“Iya dear, soon Mama until”

“Dah Mama”

“Bye Kara”

The phone changed hands again.

“I wait for you at home”

“Iya”