Love, Let it Get Lost

About Ben

Nicko quickly shook his head.

Yeah, an expression I can already guess. He would have immediately rejected my stupid idea. We just destroyed Ben yesterday, and now we're going to ask Ben for help to solve our other problems. Maybe Nicko just doesn't want to humble himself in front of Ben, he doesn't want to deal with Ben much less ask for his help.

“Yes it's just an idea that's in my head. If you had any other way yes we would have chosen another way Nick. Try to think of” said I tried to convince Nicko.

“He's been 4 years in Kalimantan, he can manipulate his data there, he can eliminate traces, change his identity, even he can easily use another name to survive there. I'm sure, he will definitely be able to easily help us to find the data of the person we're looking for there”

“But not Ben” Nicko said with full rejection.

“Ya Okay. Then try to find another way again, while all I have is that” answered me by holding my ego.

I really don't want to deal with Ben anymore. But from the very beginning, when the name Kalimantan was mentioned in this matter, all that popped into my head was the name Ben. Because the problems I've experienced before it started from Ben coal mine in Kalimantan. So Kalimantan can be said to be the beginning of my and Ben's destruction.

In the afternoon we arrived home. Nicko and I went straight to Kara who was playing in the back garden with Susi.

Kara wears a red dress with floral motifs on her skirt. She wears a pink bandana and with bangs covering her forehead.

Kara ran straight towards me and Nicko when she saw us.

“Mama..Papa..“ cried Kara then she hugged me too Nicko.

Nicko immediately carried her.

“What are you doing?”

“Tadi Kara see Pa” butterfly

“O yes? What color butterfly?”

“Yellow color is the same as black, but the butterflies are big Pa”

“Where are the butterflies?”

“His friends hide in his Oma flower there Pa”

“Terus”

“Kata Oma her butterflies should not be caught, because she lives her must fly here and there to entertain Kara, if her butterflies are caught she will be sad can not fly”

I smiled at their conversation.

“Then Kara's school was how ? Smart kara in school?” Ask me by justifying her hair that covers her chubby cheeks.

“Kara in good school Ma. O yes, there was Papa Ben to school”

My eyes immediately rounded to hear Ben's name mentioned by Kara. Nicko was no less surprised to hear that.

“Papa Ben?!” Ask Nicko.

Either he's surprised because Kara still calls Ben Papa or he's surprised because of Ben's presence at his school.

“Iya Pa's. Last time Kara and Mpa Susi waited to be picked up by Mr. Ruli, Kara saw Papa Ben was in the car. He saw Kara continue, but did not get off the car, Kara dadahin Papa Ben, then Papa Ben also drugs Kara”

I glanced at Sister Susi beside me. He could only be silent not knowing perhaps how to speak.

“Ben is in Kara school?” Ask Ms. Susi.

“I don't know exactly that Mr. Ben is not a bu, but indeed the man keeps seeing Kara in his car”

Susi's mother only occasionally saw Ben's face first in my photo. He never saw Ben in person. So surely he does not know what kind of change Ben's face is now. But Kara's vision couldn't have been wrong, she's met Ben a few times so I'm sure what Kara saw was Ben.

Nicko and I immediately went into the room and changed our clothes.

“For what Ben came to school Kara” nagged Nicko with an annoyed tone, while opening his work shirt.

“I also don't know” answered me lazily.

I sat in front of my dresser and opened the high heels that made my heels hurt.

“She wants to accidentally meet Kara?” Ask her again still with her annoyance.

“Ya let alone his destination” replied me coldly.

“He can't find Kara without our permission”

I could only sigh hearing Nicko keep raving about Ben. I tried not to pacify her and busy myself by removing the makeup in front of the mirror.

“We don't know what he's going to do. He could have taken Kara away, or talked the others to her which could have confused Kara. Why would she dare to show herself in front of Kara, why would she want ?”

Nicko really looks upset. Maybe his sense of emotion that yesterday about Ben hasn't been able to get him out of his mind.

“She won't hurt Kara Nick” I said casually but sounded confident, while continuing to remove my makeup.

Nicko silently heard my words. I'm sure he must have been disappointed, because my words sounded like they were defending Ben.

I realized his sudden silence. Nicko just looked at me coldly by the bedside, I turned my back and stared back at him.

“Listen to me. Ben couldn't have hurt Kara. Yeah maybe he didn't ask us for permission to go see Kara because he was too embarrassed by what he did to our family. And he'll also definitely know our answer is definitely 'no' for his licensing it”

I tried to explain so Nicko wouldn't misunderstand me. Nicko was still staring at me coldly.

“Did you just defend Ben?”

I shook my head so weakly looking at Nicko.

“I no longer want to defend him for what he has done so far. I just tell you what I know and believe. Ben would never dare hurt Kara” I replied.

“As a parent, I only worry about my son. I'm worried about his safety, I'm afraid someone else will do evil with my son. He will also definitely feel the same if there is in my position” said Nicko trying to justify his assumption.

I stared at Nicko pseudoly after hearing what he said. Nicko forgot one thing about Ben.

“Ya” answered me while nodding my head with restraining my grief remembering Ben.

“If Ben were in your position he would definitely feel the same way. But that position will never be felt Ben, Nick”

I'm starting to get sad given Ben's huge illness. He can't get Nicko's position, as a father.

Nicko's expression turned clumsy. He must have felt wrong to have said that. He forgot that Ben couldn't have children.

As a man and a father of course Nicko will feel how his pain if he can not have offspring. He would definitely feel sad if the fact was he could never be a father, considering he was now so happy to have Kara.