Love, Let it Get Lost

The problem came back again

Next morning.

I'm ready to go to work and ready to take Kara to school. I've worn Kara's school shirt and pinched her two hairs, I've put all her textbooks in the bag, don't forget to bring Kara provisions to eat there. I was busy with putting my things in the bag, such as cell phones, wallets, makeup tools for touch ups and car keys.

Someone knocked on my apartment door while I was busy getting ready to go to work. I peeked straight in the door.

That's Bima and Mama. I opened the door immediately.

“Mama” my greeting to Mama who stands behind the door.

And I glanced at Bima who was standing behind Mama.

“Hallo Nak” greet Mama sweetly then she hugs me.

I returned his embrace with a confused look on his face.

“Mama asked Bima to deliver Mama here” said Mama answered my question who was confused to see Bima with Mama.

“Come in” take me to Mama and Bima.

“Oh I went straight back to Faw's office, so Bu Shinta came here with his personal driver, and I brought an office car. I have to go back to the office now” said Bima.

“Oh. Okay” answered me with still confused.

“Bima. Please don't tell Nicko I'm here. I want to talk to Fawnia without knowing Nicko” Mama told Bima.

Why can't Nicko know ? Ask me in my heart.

“Good Mom. I permisi”

“Iya. Thank you” replied Mama.

“Thank you Bim” said I'm grateful.

“Oke” then Bima left and Mama came in with me into the apartment.

“Omaaa” shouted Kara when she saw Mama coming in.

“Hay Kara”

Kara immediately ran over to her Oma and hugged Kara gently.

“Where are you going to be beautiful like this?”

“Why want to go to school Oma”

“You school? Oh Kara's been to school?”

“Iya is still just learning and playing Ma” replied me.

“Oh, already smart dong grandson Oma. Ih already beautiful, fine,pinter again”

Kara smiled blushed with embarrassment seeing Oma praise her.

“Come sit Ma. What do you want to drink?” Ask me while walking to the pantry.

“What's” answer her.

Then I made him warm tea in a beautiful white cup. Then I sat down next to him. Mom tasted a little tea I made.

“What's Ma?” Ask me curiously.

Because it's impossible for Mama to come here so early if there's no specific intent.

“Faw,Mama wants to talk about Nicko”

I wrinkled my forehead.

“What's with him?”

“It's about Nicko and Kirana”

I suddenly thought about the problem 5 years ago.

I was so sure he would come back asking me to help him again exactly like 5 years ago.

“Mama wants to discuss this but that doesn't mean Mama asked you to go again Faw. Mama never had such thoughts, please do not think evil about Mama”, he warned.

I just kept feeling guilty.

“Kirana and Nicko are engaged, and the Kirana family has helped Papa company a lot over the years. And his family had so wanted Nicko to marry Kirana, they had been engaged, right? And Mama hope for this time Nicko will listen to Mama”

My mom is not so different from her story in the past. I feel if the purpose of Mama telling this is the same as before.

“Then why did Mama tell me all this?”

“Faw. It's not just about their marriage, it's about our company. The company that your Papa and Papa built up was a lot of obstacles before like this. They fought so hard to be able to resurrect this company, and our job only has to be able to defend his”

I'm still silent yet to capture the core of Mama's story.

“This is our chance to work with the Kirana family. Mr. Handoko is the biggest and most famous person in the property sector, we must be able to take advantage of the opportunities that Faw has. Kirana's family appreciates Papa very much, and he really wants to be able to preach with Papa, and Mama hopes that you too Nicko can understand”

“Mama did not want, another slow down our company was declining drastically like what we feared. And in addition to the problems of Kirana and Nicko, Mama did not want to until their marriage was canceled. Mama's afraid Kirana's parents will withdraw all the assets and shares they keep in our company Faw. Understand, this is also for the good of us all”

My mother said it hurt me so much. As if all the problems that happened to the company were my fault.

“Then what do you want? Mama wants me out of the company” Ask me to hold back my sadness.

Mama clasped my hands gently and with a hopeful look. Yet I could only look Mana in the eyes with my glare.

“Mama wants you to move out of that office, and work in Papa's other office” pinta Mama.

I was silent for a moment looking at Mama's sad eyes and was really hopeful about it.

“Alright” answer me so sadly.

Mama smiled at my answer, and then she stroked my hair gently.

“And Mama hope you can stay back at our house like you used to” Mama said while releasing her embrace.

He spoke as if in the house before him there was never a problem. And he knows for himself how Nicko and I got out of that house because we wanted to keep our feelings.

I looked into Mama's eyes with sadness. I still can't figure out why he's still forcing me to go back to his house after what he said.

“If Mama wants me to leave the office, I'll go. But if Mama asks me to go back home, it won't happen. And about Nicko, I don't want to interfere, I can't help Mama to marry Nicko to the woman of Mama's choice, I don't want to be involved with that problem” said I was so firm.

Mama stared straight at her gaze that was so disappointed, she sighed.

“Mama thought all this time you were good Faw, Mama thought you could be a daughter Mama who could love Mama wholeheartedly, but it turns out Mama was wrong. After all you only look at Mama as someone else ?”

Mama said in a disappointed tone. He didn't look me in the eye, and just stared straight ahead.

Mama could think that way about me, she judged me bad just because I loved her son. Is that how wrong I made until he immediately judged if I did not love and appreciate it?