Love, Let it Get Lost

Flashback ‘our escape’

We arrived at the parking lot. Nicko and I got out of the car and we headed to our room upstairs. When I got to my room, I gave her a farewell kiss once again.

“Goodnight Nicko”

“Goodnight Fawnia. I Love You” spoke so close to my face that I could feel her breath so warm.

“I Love You Too Nicko” then I went into my room and closed it.

It was the first time I could feel the greatest happiness in my life before my parents were gone.

As time went on Nicko and I went through a relationship hidden behind Mama and Papa Nicko. In front of them, we still pretend to be familiar as usual, but behind them we are so friendly and always jokingly worthy of people dating.

Day by day passed. Nicko and I were put on different campuses because of our department's incompatible desires. We were not too forced to have to follow the ego to always be together, so we decided to go to the campus we wanted, even though our majors are the same, namely Business Management.

I guess once we're put on a different campus, I'll be detached from Nicko. But apparently not. Although different from the University, Nicko still always met me on campus. He used to pick me up at college, he also often attended my activities around campus. I was lost for a while no word he could find me all over campus, but at that time my mobile phone fell and broke, but Nicko was so worried and he looked for me around campus looking for me here and there, until finally some of my friends knew Nicko. Including Ben.

Ben and I were different majors, but we were always met several times in the library that made us acquainted. Ben often took me to eat in the cafeteria together, even several times Ben always offered me a ride home, but of course I refused. Because being friends with Ben alone has made Nicko angry especially if Nicko knows I'm being escorted home by him.

He was always jealous of Ben to the point of leaving me at home.

We never greet each other at the dinner table, even when passing by at home Nicko so tightly passed me just like that.

It made Mama and Papa wonder why Nicko always behaved like that to me. They began to suspect our hidden relationship.

When we were 21 years old. Mama Nicko decides to match Nicko with her Papa's work-related son. It would have made me or Nicko in shock. I didn't know what to do, but Nicko firmly rejected the matchmaking,and I kept asking Nicko not to tell us the truth about our relationship until his parents accepted him well.

“Nak listen. It's for your future, Mama wants you to grow up decent, Mama doesn't want you to feel how difficult it was to be us when I was forced to make Mama Nicko who kept asking Nicko to obey his wishes.

They argue in the living room after Nicko's college. And her mom didn't give Nicko a chance to change clothes or just keep her bag in the room.

“Mama always forced Mama's wish, why did Mama not give me the freedom to choose my own way of life!” yelled Nicko not accept.

“What kind of life path do you want?!” Shouted Mama Nicko so loudly.

Nicko shook his head in annoyance.

“Mama know the best for you Son, you just follow his course”

Nicko emotionally shook his head looking at his Mama so angrily.

“No Ma, I don't want!” nicko replied as he stood up from his seat and went out looking for me who was in the room.

I was surprised to see Nicko who looked so angry into my room with an emotional look on his face.

I stared at her in confusion on my bed with my phone in my hand.

“We go” said Nicko to confuse me.

“What do you mean? Where are we going?” I asked in a panic because he looked so angry.

“We go. No one understands us here” said Nicko who still makes me confused.

My hand was pulled quickly by Nicko without me having time to refute his wishes.

My hands were pulled quickly out of the room, then I met her Mama who was going to try to stop Nicko in the living room.

“Nicko stop! Where are you taking Fawnia” asked Mama by continuing to chase us.

I just stared at the confused Mama Nicko who kept chasing us.

“Fawnia please stop!” Pinta Mama Nicko by calling my name.

But Nicko kept pulling my hands out of the house. I was confused as to how because Nicko was so tight holding my hand and kept pulling me out of the house.

“Nicko stop, Mama want to talk” pinta me in panic, because look Mama who seems to have been angry.

“Our talk is done” replied Nicko with a canal running so fast towards his car.

“Nicko stop Mama say! Where are you taking Fawnia?” Shouted her mother in the main doorway.

Nicko did not pay attention to his mother who kept shouting, while we have arrived next to Nicko's car.

“Nicko your relationship will never be Mama blessing!!” mama Nicko's words made me round my eyes in surprise with her words.

I looked at Nicko's face in disbelief, to the surprise that his mother had learned of our relationship.

“Masuk” pinta Nicko who has opened the car door for me.

“Log me said!” Nicko's scream scared me, I looked up at Mama Nicko's face as I expected.

“Log Fawnia!” Shouted again, and I immediately got into the car while looking at Mama sadly.

I was already in the car, but my face was ceaselessly staring at the face of Mama Nicko who was so sad and disappointed to look at me.

“Nicko. Come back here Nicko! Nickoo!”

Nicko ignored her Mom's screams and she kept pushing her car somewhere.

My eyes sparkled, I was sad to hear what Mama Nicko said earlier. He will never change our relationship. Then how are we next ?

“Where are we going?” Ask me in such an anxious tone.

“I'll take you away from home” Nicko said by continuing to drive.

“Why Nick? Because our relationship will not be blessed?” Ask me sadly.

“Because Mama wants to match me with another woman” replied Nicko in a slightly loud tone.

I was silent at his words.

Nicko will be paired with another woman. Then what about me? What should I do ? Will I keep my feelings ? Am I going to be selfish by not giving Nicko to a woman his parents' choice ? Nicko's parents have been too kind to me.

“We return to my home” by trying hard, but I have to accept this harsh reality.

Nicko glanced at me for a moment by frowning me.

“What do you mean?”

“I don't want to be the kid who doesn't know himself Nicko!” I tried to make him understand.

Then Nicko quickly slammed his steering wheel into the shoulder of the road and brake the car abruptly. Makes me flinch forward.

We kept quiet for a moment to calm our minds. Nicko looks like he's upset because of my words.

“What do you mean?” Nicko asked in such a disappointed tone without turning his head towards me.

I closed my eyes, hoping my choice was right.

“I want you to follow what your Mama wants” answered me with so much heart.

“And break your heart?” Her question glanced at me disappointedly.

Her face was so fed up.

“I can resist this feeling Nicko. I'll forget her as her time goes”

“Then what about me?!” Nick asked with emotion.

“I've loved you too much Fawnia. I never even thought of leaving you. How can you ask me to marry a woman I don't love at all?”

I finally shed tears. I can no longer stop my unbearable cries. Because I also felt what Nicko had been feeling all along. Nicko was my first love, and it has never been replaced.

“I don't want your parents to hate me Nicko. Please understand” I said begging to look at her sadly.

I feel like my situation is so difficult. I can't choose between him and his family.

“And I will make my parents hate me too Fawnia” said Nicko stroked my hair gently.

Nicko looks so fucked up. He was already finding it difficult with the circumstances he had. I knew she loved me so much, but her parents were so kind to me, there was no way I could break her kindness just because of the selfishness of my feelings.

Nicko took me to a motel out of town.

“We will stay here for a few days, until we get an apartment that is right for us” Nicko said so promising.

I didn't know what Nicko would bring me to live with his parents. Will Nicko and I be like my Mom and Dad? Who was not blessed by their parents and decided to marry without blessing ?

I've been so confused to think of Nicko's stubborn attitude. But I know, I won't win to be able to refute her, so I just need to follow her wishes until her heart calms down by itself.

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