Love, Let it Get Lost

About Nicko

I came home full of excitement. Keysa now replaced me to drive because he saw me so weak and still sad. I sat in the back seat holding onto Kara who looked confused. Keysa can't wait to hear my true story. A secret I've been covering for Ben for years.

When I entered the apartment I put Kara to bed in the room and went back outside to the living room to meet Keysa who was waiting for my explanation.

“Why lo this secret is also from me?” Keysa asked by folding both of her hands on her chest.

I sighed and walked to the pantry to grab a drink. Keysa followed me.

“Gue is your friend Faw. For years I've helped lo and Kara, but you still hide a big secret like this from me?” Her question did not accept by continuing to follow me.

I drank the water I poured into my glass. Then I kept the empty glass on the table and looked at Keysa worriedly.

“Key. This secret is Ben who asked for no one to know including the closest person even once. Because she wants Kara to be forever considered as her child not someone else's child” replied I made Keysa speechless and lamented my words.

“Ben could not have children at all, and we finally met at the intersection of problems that almost no way out. And she was so happy because she finally had a child even though it wasn't her flesh and blood, and she wanted Ben to be considered the father of Kara she didn't want anyone else to know about this”

Keysa looked at me with a smile.

“Then who is Kara's real father?” Keysa's question made me start to get confused to answer her.

I was silent a thousand languages, staring at Keysa who was waiting for my answer. I was so confused how to explain all this to Keysa, because even though Keysa was the only person I trusted in this world, I was very afraid to tell him this big secret.

Then I went past her.

“Faw... Faw” call Keysa trying to stop my steps. And I lazily stopped and turned my body to face him.

“Lo can't hide anything else from me. I already know Kara is not Ben's son, you have to tell me the truth who is Kara's real father?” pinta Keysa was so curious.

“Please Key. You do not need to know that, because it will be very risky if there are others who know who the father of Kara”

And now Keysa looks so disappointed and stares at me.

“Less what the hell am I the same lo Faw?” His words were so disappointed.

“Lo don't believe me? Over the years have I been less of a friend? There are so many secrets you hide from me” annoyed Keysa so do not accept with my attitude.

“Not so..”

“Today I've always been open the same elo ya Faw. Even until the smallest and as big as anything I experience, you always tell me the same lo. But what's elo's reply? Elo makes me rich instead of anyone elo? You can consider me someone else. I am disappointed with Lo Faw” Keysa said with great disappointment.

Keysa was about to leave me by picking up things and cell phones on the table and walking towards the exit with an emotional leg. I shook my head because it was so hard to tell Keysa my honest friend.

“Kara son Nicko!” Shouted me to Keysa before he held the door handle to get out.

Keysa immediately turned towards me with wide eyes.

“What?!” Ask Keysa in disbelief. I can already guess how he reacted after hearing all this.

I kept silent and could only turn my face so agitated as to tell Keysa the truth.

Yes Nicko is Kara's real father.

..._****_...

5 years ago.

Nicko took me out of his house and stayed in a small hotel for a few days. We ran away from Nicko's house because Nicko's parents forced Nicko to marry a woman he had been betrothed to for a long time. But Nicko rejected her, because she never wanted to leave me and she just wanted to marry me.

“Nicko. Do we have to be like this?” Ask Nicko. I was sitting so restless beside this hotel bed.

Nicko walked up to me and he knelt before me. He held both my hands and looked at me with his eyes.

“I'll do anything to never leave you” replied her who still makes me anxious.

I looked at her so sadly.

“Nicko. Maybe what your parents said was right. The best choice for your future is to marry their choice, not me Nick”.

Nick's face turned so disappointed. He bowed his head to think, then he stood up in his annoyance.

“How should I tell you so you understand Faw?” Nicko asked by standing facing the glass window and dabbing his waist.

“But when you were a kid you only thought I was a little sister, right Nick?” Ask me to remember our parents always said we were kaka sisters, and we believed in that, because we were too small to understand.

“I'm no longer a child Faw” replied with his heartbreaking gaze.

Nicko walked over to me and sat down beside me.

He looked at me so deeply. I saw Nicko's handsome face at close range. His white skin nose is sharp oval face shape and his long hair makes him so handsome and cool every day.

Nicko exposed my hair behind my ears.

“Faw. We promised to stay together, and I won't deny it”

Then Nicko kissed my lips and something happened that night. I was not aware of what I was doing with Nicko at the time. We have been so blinded by the love that penetrates into our bodies. This is the first time Nicko and I have done something so far out of bounds like this, and we've both been under one roof for a number of years. But only this time Nicko dared to do things beyond his limits.

All night we enjoyed our warm night. And Nicko came to my ear and whispered.

“I'll never let you go” and then she comes back to kiss my lips again so gently.

A few days passed. We still live in a small motel to get away from home. And today I was just shopping for lunch for me and Nicko, but someone surprised me standing in front of a hotel lobby.

“Mama” whispered to me so slowly.

It was Mama Nicko yet I called her with Mama since my parents passed away.

Mama Nicko came up to me with a face so sad that she hugged me so tightly.

“How are you doing sweetheart?” Ask Mama Nicko to make me stumped motionless.

“Pardon Mama who has made you like this” said Mama.

“Ma. I'm the one who should be apologizing, 'cause I'm just following Nicko's wishes. Mama knows for herself Nicko how?” My question remembers so stubbornly Nicko if something he wanted was not fulfilled he would definitely be so angry.

“Iya dear Mama understand, you will not do this if Nicko does not force you”

Mama Nicko just kept wiping my face with her soft hand caress.

As long as my parents die. Nicko's parents were my parents' substitutes, they shared Nicko's affection with me, and I felt that they loved me so sincerely.

“Sayang. You certainly want the best for Nicko right?” Ask her Mama.

I silently answered her answer.

“And you also want if we are happy right?”

“Sure Ma, you guys have helped me a lot even my entire treasure alone cannot afford all your kindness”

“Then help us to get Nicko to marry the woman of our choice” pinta Mama Nicko who is still so trying to marry Nicko to a woman of their choice.

I was so quiet hearing that. Actually I would love to say if I actually love Nicko as much as Nicko loves me, but like this is not the thing that will be accepted by his Mama.

“Nak. Clarisa's family has helped our company so much. We want our business to be smooth with this matchmaking. If our business is successful, of course, you will be successful with us, right? Because you have become part of our family” said Mama gave understanding.

“Please help Mama” said Mama Nicko hope with so sad.

I cannot see the woman who has been taking care of me and keeping me as big as I am now crying just because her wishes cannot be fulfilled. I knew so well, I should be able to return the favor to Nicko's family for taking care of me so far, even though losing Nicko was one way for me to be able to repay their services.

“I'll make Nicko come home” I answer finally by holding back my tears.

Her mother was so happy and she cried so moved to hug me with erata. But I tried to hold back my grief, because I had to accept the fact that Nicko and I wouldn't be together forever.

The next day I went out of the hotel in secret from Nicko and came home with all the supplies I needed and quickly ran away from there without anyone noticing. My house means Nicko's, too, and I give him a message if I'm home, but I don't tell him I've been away from that house for a long time. I immediately changed my phone number and lived in an apartment with the money in my biological parents' savings. They gave all their possessions to me after they died. This is the first time I have used it.

I've been feeling depressed for a few days now, thinking about Nicko. I think my way was successful in getting Nicko to comply with his parents' wishes, and I decided to come back after Nicko's wedding on the title. But a problem has been afflicting me for a few days. In the little apartment I rented, I always felt nauseous. I thought I was getting sick because the food I ordered from the outside kept me vomiting.

I decided to check my pain into the big hospital near my apartment so weak and helpless. But when I heard what the doctor said while examining my stomach, it made me so shocked, crying in silence and imagining what if Nicko's parents knew about this. Surely they will hate me for breaking their trust all this time that has regarded me as his own son. I can't go back to this, I don't want Nicko's parents to know. Then my mind was so deadlocked that I no longer had anyone, and chose to end my life. Then Ben came as a hero.

...—****—...