Wingless Butterfly

CHAPTER 91 DREAMS BURIED DEEP WITHIN

Mom tried to come to me in the room and talk to me.

" Rissa, isn't it time to apply to College ?? "

" Rissa doesn't want to go to college anymore, Mom. "

" Why son, wasn't that your dream all along for college ??? "

" That was Mom, another is the case with now Mom. Rissa no longer desired that dream. "

" Is it because Farrell's death makes you desperate like this, son ??? "

" Yes Ma'am, Farrell is no more Ma'am. Rissa no longer had dreams. "

" What about your future, son ??? You have to remember your future is still long, son. Don't waste it like this. "

" Rissa is confused Mom. "

" Fuddled why ???. You are lucky, son, you get a full scholarship to get an education to a higher level. Not every kid your age gets that luck. If the problem of cost and cost of living while I'll try my son. I'm going to look for a loan and you don't have to think about this. "

" Nothing else can make Rissa the spirit of Mom. He (Farrell ) has gone to leave Rissa for all eternity Mom, "I replied with a cry.

" But you still have Mom Son, doesn't Mom mean anything to you ??? "

" That's not what Rissa Ma meant. Mother is as meaningful as Farrell, Mother is also a source of strength for Rissa to survive and fight for her life. "

" Why did you give up like this, son, where your promise to make Mom proud. Didn't you always promise to raise our family's degrees, son ??? "

" I'm sorry Rissa Ma'am, Rissa can't. "

" It's not meant by Mother comparing Mother's children, but you're the only hope that our family can get out of this world of poverty, son. If Rissa succeeds, I'll be very proud of you. "

" I'm sorry Rissa Bu, but Rissa has buried deeply all of Rissa's dreams and ideals. Rissa already lacked the courage and passion for Rissa's future. I'm sorry Rissa Ma. "

" I understand and really understand your situation. But you don't keep going like this, son, remember the opportunity won't come a second time. Do not let you regret what you have wasted at this time. "

" This is already Riss Bu's choice, please appreciate Rissa. "

" Yes I've given you time to think tonight, I hope tomorrow you can change your mind. "

" Yes ma'am, Rissa wants to rest first Ma'am. "

" Yes, I went out first. "

" Yes Mom. "

I immediately lay in my room, when I saw the wall clock was almost late at night. I wish I never regretted the life choices I made for my future. I told my mother, even though she doesn't like me.

I started to close my eyes, I wanted to momentarily let go of all these thoughts in my brain. I don't know how tired I'm falling asleep tonight. It was so good after a few nights before I couldn't feel a good night's sleep.

The next day, when I opened my eyes this morning I heard someone talking about something in the living room. Although it sounds equally vague but I can still hear it. At first I didn't really care, but when my name was repeatedly mentioned it made me more curious.

I went out of my room and was shocked to see that Mama Farrell was in my house this morning. I was confused about what they were talking about. In the end, Mama Farrell asked me to sit next to her.

" Aunty knows what really happened to you Riss. "

" Your mother told Auntie everything, that's why you never picked up the phone from Auntie and replied to Aunty's SMS. "

" I'm sorry Rissa Aunty. "

" It should be that if you feel innocent, you still come to Farrell's tahlilan event without fearing the threat of others. "

" But Rissa is afraid of Auntie. "

" How scared are you that you're not attending Farrell's birthday party, the person you love so much ??? "

" Yes Aunty, Rissa was wrong. Rissa is sorry. "

" Yes already, Aunt forgive and it is wrong Aunt why not immediately check your own situation yesterday. "

" Aunty is not wrong. "

" Yes Riss, let's forget about Farrell's birthday because your prayers for him never stop, right ??? "

" Yes Aunt, Rissa always prayed for Farrell. "

" Yes in spite of it all, there's something important we need to talk about. "

" What's Auntie ??? "

" On your future Riss. "

" Why the future of Rissa Aunty ??? "

" Related to the promise you made in front of Farrell while he was still around. Don't you remember the promise you made to him ??? "

" Yes Aunty, but I'm sorry Rissa. Things are now changing and Rissa has denied her Auntie. "

" A promise that is forever nothing is changed or denied.

I can only bow and be silent a thousand languages. Farrell's mother hugged me very warmly.

" Don't give up baby, Auntie knows that Rissa is a strong person. For Auntie, at this time Rissa was not desperate but Rissa was taking a short break to gather up the courage to fight. Rissa's future is still long, don't down baby. Auntie's here for Rissa. "

" Yes Aunt. "

" Now Aunt asked once again to Rissa, Rissa still want to continue higher school ????. It's a golden opportunity for Rissa, don't waste it. Dear Eman, let's get Rissa's future excited. "

" Who is Rissa fighting for this time, Auntie ???. Farrell was gone, Rissa had absolutely no passion for it anymore. Please don't ever force Rissa again to do something that Rissa doesn't want to do anymore. "

" Rissa, Auntie is doing this for your good dear. You can't give up on the situation, baby. Aunty knows you are at your weakest point, a condition that makes you slump. But you don't lose out on it baby, come on baby at least do this for yourself and your family. "

" I'm sorry Rissa Aunty, Rissa's decision has been unanimous Aunt. Dreams That Buried Deep - In this is Rissa's choice for now. Rissa hopes Auntie can understand and appreciate Rissa. "

" Ok Rissa this is your choice right now, meaning that choice can change at any time right ???. That's not your last choice, is it, baby ??? "

I gasped at Mama Farrell's words, I couldn't even say anything. For sure for now I have no other choice, I have no courage to fight for my future anymore.