Wingless Butterfly

CHAPTER 146 GOODBYE DREAMS AND HOPES

Arsel's sister drove me home to the boarding house tonight. I don't know if I should be happy or if I should be sad, because soon we'll never see each other again.

" You're really going to go Riss ??? "

" Yes, I have a promise to keep. "

" You should have rejected Erika Riss's request at that time, you have the right to Rik. ''

" It's all my fault, sister, Erika was destroyed and lost it all because of me. So I want to make up for all my mistakes this way. I also want to see Erika happy Brother, although on the other hand I have to lose my dreams and ideals, "I answered as my eyes glazed over.

Brother Arsel immediately hugged me and stroked my hair.

" I'm sorry Rissa, I can't help anything. I tried to ask Erika to forgive but failed. It's not fair to you Riss, you're a very nice and great woman. How can you go with this kind of situation ??? Then when are you going to Riss ??? "

" Don't know Brother, maybe in a few days, Brother, "I lied to Brother Arsel.

" Before you go, I want to spend time with you Riss. At least allow me to show you how I feel. If we were meant to be a match, I'm sure someday we'll meet again. But I want you to answer honestly my question is yes Riss ???? "

" What is the question about sister ???? "

" Honestly don't you have the same feelings for me Riss ??? You answer honestly, I just want to know the truth about your heart. "

" I don't know Brother, but I don't seem to have the same feelings as what Brother Arsel feels. I'm sorry Brother, "I lied to Arsel again about my true feelings.

" Yes already then I went to my boarding house, brother, I am very tired tonight. "

" Yes already then, tomorrow we make an appointment at the cafe

" Memories "as always yes Riss. The rest of the time I just want to spend with you Riss. "

" Yes Brother Arsel, yes already then I entered the boarding first yes Brother. "

" Yes, Riss. Good night, take good care of yourself, " Brother Arsel said as he hugged me.

" Yes Brother. "

" I need to get out of here as soon as possible. Tomorrow morning I must have left all this, "My inner self in my heart.

After all my clothes and things were done I cleaned them all up, now I was pensive in the corner of my room. I have to make sure to accept all of this sincerely. This is the best path for all of us.

And it didn't feel like I was asleep as well in this endless state of sadness. And in my sleep I dreamt that the late Farrell was coming and he said to me, "Everything will be fine, be patient. ''

I could not feel my tears falling asleep and my eyes closed. I honestly can't keep this matter alone. And I still don't know what answer I should tell my family, especially my mother later.

I woke up to the sound of the dawn prayer and I immediately took water for prayer. At least maybe with prayer, my heart can be a little calm today. I solemnly performed the dawn prayer and prayed while expressing my feelings at that time.

After I finished my bath, I got ready to leave the city immediately. I did lie to Bryant and Brother Arsel on purpose that I would be gone in a few days. The fact is I'm leaving today without anyone knowing.

Before I left, I stopped by for a moment to see my college for the last time. Where I study this I once pinned my hopes as high as the sky so that someday I could become a Wingless Butterfly. I want to achieve my goals and be a successful person.

Now, that hope must run aground in the middle of the road. I had to give up my dreams and aspirations. I don't feel these tears falling down. Honestly in my mind, I have to keep my promise to leave here forever. But not with my heart, my heart says something else. My heart says that I still want to be here to complete my dreams to make loved ones happy.

Finally with a heavy heart this step swung home. Ready not ready, willing not willing I have to get out of here immediately. Once again I turned to look at my campus, this chest was getting crowded and these tears kept pouring out. But all my heart wiped away these tears and said, "Goodbye Dreams and Hope. "

I immediately went up to the angkot with a large bag containing my clothes and belongings. Luckily, I didn't meet anyone I knew today.

In the course of my eyes empty, I only think about how the fate of my life will be in the future. To meet my needs I have to do what I do. Because when I got home, I knew for sure that everyone who had supported me in college all this time must have been very disappointed.

I finally got to the station, so I took the train safer than taking the bus. While waiting for the train schedule, I looked for a seat while holding the train ticket I was going to ride.

Amidst the sadness and turmoil I felt alone in this place, there was an incoming call that shocked me. I forgot to turn off my phone. When I saw Bryant calling me. And when I almost turned off my phone, it took turns for Brother Arsel to contact me. I didn't know and was a little curious because how could they almost simultaneously contact me. There must be a reason and something important so they look for me.

I finally opened my heart to turn off my phone. I hope there are no words of regret when I do. I did all this for the good of all of us. I gave happiness to Erika, whom I always considered to be my best friend. I also left Brother Arsel, as the person I love so much. There's also Bryant, the guy who cares about me. I knew he would be busy looking for me.

I am thankful that the train I will be riding is finally coming. I immediately searched my seat number. After that, I put my stuff down. Almost about five minutes when the train will run, I want to see from the window of this Surabaya city station for the last time.

And suddenly someone called me from the back carriage.

" Rissa, don't go Riss. "