Wingless Butterfly

CHAPTER 88 HAPPY PATH DEAR, QUIET IN HEAVEN

" Rissa, you don't want to hug or kiss Farrell one last time before he's forgiven ???? " The words of Farrell's mother disperse my daydream.

" Can I Auntie ??? " I asked with trembling and teary eyes because I was still afraid of Father Farrell who was still staring at me.

" May dear, as long as you do not shed tears, dear. "

" Yes Aunt. "

Finally I approached Farrell's body which was stiff in the room. Once again I still can't believe that the corpse in front of me is Farrell, my best friend and the person I love so much. He was the only person beside me who was both fond and miserable. He is a very good man and is second to none. How sorry I have been ignoring his love, but he has always been faithful to keep his love only for me. Now, it is too late, the man is finished in this world. We're already in a different world, I'm left alone.

" Goodbye Baby, Calm In Heaven. "

Those were the only words I could say, so I immediately kissed her forehead and hugged her. I realized this was the last kiss and hug. But when I saw his face, I saw his face glow and seemed to smile. It was as if there was no more burden and pain that he felt. And as I promised I held my tears in my heart.

Farrell's body was finally buried. Actually, Mama Farrell forbade me to go to the funeral because of my unstable condition, but I insisted on going along. I want to see firsthand the last process Farrell was buried in. But because of Farrell's brother who accompanied me I was finally allowed to accompany Farrell to his final resting place.

" Rissa, you're here with Auntie at home. "

" No Aunt, Rissa wants to see Farrell buried in person. Rissa wanted to continue to see the process through to the end. "

" But your situation is still not possible to go there baby, Auntie is afraid of anything happening later with you there. "

" Aunty don't worry, Rissa's fine. "

" Rissa.... "

" Rissa beg Aunty, let Rissa deliver Farrell to his final resting place. "

" But Rissa promised not to cry there huh, pity Farrell dear. "

" Yes Aunty, Rissa just wanted to see Farrell one last time. "

" Yes, baby. "

" Let me come and accompany Rissa there, Ma, "His sister Farrell volunteered.

" Yes, it's better that way, let Rissa take care of her, " replied Mama Farrell.

" Yes Ma. "

Finally we took Farrell to his final resting place. Along the way his brother Farrell kept trying to strengthen my heart to remain patient and continue beristighfar so that my heart sincerely and calmly let go Farrell forever.

" Rissa, that's strong huh. Don't be sad and cry on to keep Farrell quiet there. "

" God willing Brother. "

" Patience and continue to be honest so that your heart can be sincere and calm to let Farrell go forever. Brother knows it's hard for you, but try to hold it all down for Farrell's sake. "

" Yes Brother. "

Finally it was time to pray for Farrell, I solemnly accepted the prayer that was read. When they finished, the people went back to their homes. But I'm still sitting next to Farrell's grave.

All of a sudden I was like seeing Farrell smile at me. Suddenly I immediately cried and hugged Farrell's navel. I could no longer endure my sadness and crying. This time I couldn't keep my promise to Mama Farrell not to be sad and cry.

I sobbed at Farrell's grave, I hugged his navel. I really can't be far from Farrell. So many memories of being with him. Memories so beautiful and sweet that I might not be able to erase in my memory.

" I love you so much Farrell, so much that you left me here alone. I can't live without you Rell, I don't know what I should do now that you've left me for good, "My cry is completely broken.

Seeing me like this, his older brother Farrell immediately hugged me and also cried.

" Rissa, strengthen your heart. I know you are a very strong and smart woman as Farrell always told Big Brother. Don't be like this, Brother sure Farrell must be sad to see you like this too. Get up Riss, let's go home. "

" But I still desperately need Farrell by my side. "

" But for now Farrell needs our prayers more Rissa, don't you feel sorry for him ???. Show your feelings of love by always praying for them at every prayer. Isn't that much better than you crying like this ???? "

" Yes, brother, let's go home. "

" Come Rissa. "

Her brother Farrell was trying to help me wake up, somehow I felt an incredible weight to wake up on my own. Before I go home, I say goodbye to Farrell.

" Dear, I'll go home first. I promise I'll come here to see you often. If I miss you, come to my dream huh, "My love while kissing Farrell's navel.

I went home but again I turned to Farrell's navel. I tried to smile even though this heart was broken and it still hurt to lose it.

His brother Farrell led me to step away from Farrell's grave. With a careless step I followed in the footsteps of Farrell's brother. Before leaving the burial area once again I saw Farrell's pusara. I don't know how long I can accept this harsh reality.

" When you miss Farrell, you can as you please visit his grave as Riss says, "Said his older brother Farrell.

" Yes, brother, thank you. Surely I will come here often when I miss him Brother. I can't be far from him, brother. "

" Yes Rissa Brother understands how you feel, but you also have to start learning yes to be able to mengikhlaskan him. That way you can move on with your life Rissa, your future is still long Riss. "

" Yes, I will try to learn to accept this reality. I'll try it, brother. "

" Promise yes. "

" Yes promise, brother. "

I don't know if I can keep this promise but at least I will always try.

" Have a Good Way, Be Calm in Heaven. "