My Love is Wrong

I enjoy my pain

Arriving at Arini's house and Azka greeted us. They seem happy and happy. I hugged my two children.

Then we had dinner together. And finished eating I checked Arini's PR, and told Azka to learn to prepare for tomorrow's lesson .

I lay my body on my soft bed, feeling to be the most comfortable place to rest my body for a moment.

My husband came into my room, then massaged my legs.

"Capek ya Ma? "My husband's words.

I nodded and smiled.

"Do you want to make sweet tea?"

" It doesn't take Pa...Mama's gonna take a break, Pa... Mama's so sleepy." I said.

At midnight I wake up. I saw my husband falling asleep next to me.

I pecked my husband's forehead. " Thank you Pa... "Bathiku.

Then I continued sleeping and hugged my husband.

The next morning, I saw no incoming message from Pram. I'm getting nervous and worried.

I did my usual activities with an uncomfortable feeling. But I realized, I can't be selfish just thinking about my feelings. I should still be able to carry out my duties as a mother for my children and my duties as the wife of my husband.

Finally at about 11pm I received a message from Pram.

"fr....Sorry I didn't get to send a message yesterday, I was missing 3 hours yesterday, so I was drowning and I was guarded by Joseph outside. I'm having trouble breathing Ar... Doain I am A Ya... Forgive my mistakes, dear..."

I can't help my tears. I was so sad and scared. I can't imagine how Pram is going through his current illness. His wife was sick and could not take care of him, and his children were sick.

I replied to Pram's message.

"Pram's... I want you to be strong and strong to heal. I just transferred the money for treatment Go to a lung specialist so that your shortness of breath is treated quickly. Please don't refuse my help this time. I want you to heal, see Pipin your wife and your children.... They need you so much. I beg you if you are right, my dear, follow my wishes. I beg you my dear..."

Before replying to Pram's message, I've transferred some money to Pram's account for treatment.

Pram immediately replied to my message.

"b... I don't need to go to the doctor, I don't want to bother you. I'm healing tomorrow. I'll transfer back the money you just sent."

I sent the emoticons crying. I don't want to reply to Pram's message. I'm angry at this Pram's attitude.

I also replied to Pram's message.

"I'm serious Pram, I want you to comply with my wishes this time. Please, I really beg you. It's time for you to prove that you really love me. Go to a lung specialist. It's all for the sake of your wife and kids ."

"Alright Ar... I love you later in the afternoon I'll go to a lung specialist. I asked Sabila to register me. Makasi...Pray for me Ar..."

"Yes Pram... Now you rest first, really rest. Yes.... I want you to heal."

"Yes Ar... It was once yes..."

I was relieved and felt calmer because Pram finally wanted to comply with my wishes. I want Pram to heal. I pray for Pram's recovery.

Then I continued my activities with Siti.

****

PREMATURE

In the afternoon I went to the lung specialist as Ara requested. Rahma took me to the doctor.

It was my turn to get a doctor checked out. The doctor asked me to X-ray the lungs first. After the X-ray results came out, the doctor gave a prescription drug that must be redeemed. Rahma who pay more attention to what the doctor's advice and information for the drugs I will drink.

After I finished my examination, I made up for the medicine I had to buy. I could only sit leaning back while trying to regulate my breath that felt tight.

The queue at the pharmacy was quite long, so I really felt really tormented. But I enjoy my pain....

Until my name was called, Rahma paid for all the drugs that had to be purchased.

Rahma looked at me

After the payment was completed we went home by taxi. On the way Rahma rubbed my chest with white withered oil so that my breath was not too tight.

"Pa...The doctor said that if you get to Papa tomorrow there's no change, Papa was told to go back to control again Pa."

I just nodded and closed my eyes.

"Later Papa must force himself to eat yaa, continue to take his medicine. Here the doctor also prescribes Papa medicine to cure Papa shortness of breath."

I just nodded. I resigned and was completely limp.