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Reading Kanya

Renzana Alcatraz

Every child, must have experienced a phase of fighting with his parents. Either trivial things because they come home late at night, or other things that contradict each other. If nothing is disputed, where might there be a difference of understanding, right?

Perhaps, almost all children on the face of this earth - I also do not dare to guarantee it is right or wrong because I only estimate it, ever quarrel with their parents. Not all children can 100 percent agree on what their parents tell them. Children tend to want to do what they think is right because they are not robots and they have their own thoughts and feelings.

So do I. My relationship with my father was never good, even though the man who had donated his seeds could never be truly angry with me. There are always moments where we can be two friends who support each other and miss each other.

However, looking at Kanya's relationship with Aunt Sukma, I realized one thing, that not all quarrels between the child and his parents could be easily resolved. My woman, the woman who was created from that wound, was really not easy to accept the quarrel with her mother in the past. It still continues to this day.

It was not easy to persuade Kanya to immediately meet the woman who had given birth to her, despite already being in the same city. My woman - who was made from the wound - chose to go home to Almira instead of going straight to her mother in the hospital. Even though I tried to persuade him to see his mother first. I don't want to see Kanya regret it anyway. Even if that's not what I was expecting. I just want to keep her heart from getting hurt more if something bad happens.

I feel like I failed. My promise to Putra to bring Kanya home was not as easy as saying it. What else is as easy as flipping a palm as most people say. Really, it's not that easy to dilute the grudges that have lived for years in the dark corners of Kanya's heart. And I, not wanting that grudge to further undermine my female humanity. So I persuaded once more before the car driven by the messenger Om Eka arrived at the house of Almira.

"She, you really don't want to see your mom first?" tanyaku carefully. I know Kanya is sensitive and I don't want my good intentions to burden her. Or just turn around to attack me.

He didn't answer my question for a long time. But he seemed to think. Like weighing the worry between following the heart or maintaining the ego as long as he defends desperately.

"No need Mas, we go straight to the house of Almira only," said Kanya still with the same determination.

I do not dispute Kanya's answer, although in my heart I want it to feel like forcing the woman. What dayaku. I was nothing more than a stranger who suddenly entered Kanya's life and had no idea what kind of relationship the mother and son were. Even though my position has now become Kanya's boyfriend, still I can't force the determination of her choice.

My smile expands. I grabbed the woman's hand and kissed the back of her hand. I just want him to know that whatever the decision is I will stand with my woman. The woman who was made from the wound, mine.

"Oh yes, I will not force you. But can you ask one thing for you?"

"What?"

"Tomorrow, you must meet soon, Aunt Sukma. There are things you really need to get done, Kanya. At the very least, Aunt Sukma could have the strength to go through everything she experienced.

I have never met him. But I'm sure one thing, there's never a parent - what else a mother - who really has the heart to push her child away from home that feels comfortable," I said as I continued to hold onto Kanya's cold hand. Could it be that the freezing of his heart had reached the woman's skin?

"Yes, Mas. Tomorrow morning I'll definitely go to the place ... Mama."

Kanya's words paused. Like a heavy escape said Mama from her throat. The overcast had not yet left even though the rain had fallen many times on the face of the woman who was created from the wound. I don't like. His face as moody obliterated the sunrise bias from the look of Kanya's eyes. Fading, as if losing the spirit to live.

"May I ask you one more thing?" I asked when we both got back together.

"That's not a hard thing to do."

"Can you, don't cry anymore? At least enough to reach Almira's house. No more tears. Just lean on me, and sleep well. No matter if your burden feels heavy when you open your eyes, but for now, when with me, do not feel the entire burden that burdens you. Can you?"

In response, Kanya pulled the tip of her lips and leaned on me. A moment of fine snoring came back to sound. I know that woman is so tired. And, getting her to sleep is just something I can do for a while.

I kissed the woman's forehead.

Lord, if only I could bear the little pain she felt, you could share it with me. However, if that is impossible, then let me remain the place to lean on as he feels tired and weak facing all things, whatever they may be.

***

Everyone loves Kanya. Even with a husband and wife who are now hugging him. I know, Kanya is bestowed blessings through people who care about her. However, the woman's tough attitude turned out to be higher than I had imagined. Damar's heartfelt remarks about Aunt Sukma have not changed Kanya's decision to go to the hospital immediately. Until Damar asked Kanya to rest and take me to the same guest room that I had once occupied.

"Bang, you're not bothered by Kanya's stubborn nature, are you?" damar asked suddenly as Kanya and Almira were already nowhere to be seen in the living room.

"No, I love Kanya with all the things attached to her. Sometimes his stubbornness shows that he is doing nothing, but feels most capable of facing all alone. He's the most fragile person I've ever known."

"Thank God that's it. I don't know if Kanya has told me about this or not, but for your information only Bang. Kanya's relationship with Aunt Sukma has long been not good. Even before Aunt Sukma decided to marry Om Eka. Their nature is not much different actually, and I'm sure Kanya must have told the same story Bang Araz. I didn't mean anything, Bang. I'm just making sure he's with the right people."

"Oh, so you just tested me?" I pretended to be offended. I did not expect, if Damar really sincerely care about Kanya, purely as a friend. Things I rarely see can be intertwined between women and men.

"No, not so, Bang. Sori I'm missing, but I mean ... ."

I laughed at Damar's misbehavior. I patted the man on the shoulder and convinced him that I was not the wrong choice for Kanya. For me, it's not a mistake to choose a woman who's made of that wound.

Precisely every time I decided to read Kanya, the more I was amazed by the woman. There are things that are sometimes beyond my reasoning, but Kanya always manages to make me fall in love with all the traits or whatever is expressed is also implied from her mind. Dan, I like it. I love reading this woman in all her complexities.

"Just calm down, Kanya can always make me fall in love so many times, even with just one sentence suddenly sliding from her lips. His sometimes spontaneous nature, it's the thing that makes me fall more and more into his charm."

"I didn't think Bang Araz was that sweet as Kanya. She was lucky to meet the right person after her heartbreak that left her dying."

"We are both lucky to have met destiny" I replied, making Damar smile. He patted me on the shoulder before deciding to move on and asked me to rest.

He said, "Tomorrow will be a hard day, Bang. You should rest a lot tonight while you can."

I smiled back and closed the door. Silent. However, there was a noisy one not wanting to stop earlier. My heart's pounding. It's always noisy if I think too hard about something. Especially if it has to do with Kanya. As if welcoming tomorrow is a challenge that I can't wait to meet how it will be.