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Deal?!

Renzana Alcatraz

He was already standing in the lobby of the LF office after I had a meeting with the editorial team to discuss the material to be published next month. I had just decided to sign a contract with that woman's magazine two months earlier. Having previously preferred freelance work in the same field. The rhythm of work that is not so heavy makes me dare to make that decision. Moreover, their needs only focus on one rubric because each section has its own team.

The man waved his hand when he saw me. When compared to his condition one week ago when he last met, Arez looked thinner. His face looks bright as usual. In fact, he had spread the charm with some women who had crossed. That's how Arez, he beetles who realize that he is handsome and likes to tease the flowers.

"I have been waiting for that as well. Just play live." Arez protested because I did not return his greeting and chose to pass towards the parking lot. He got in the car before I could open the door. "Gue's coming. We're talking about an agreement between grown men."

"Gue didn't want to hear anything about your decision. Out!" my door with a vibrating voice. There was always a turbulent feeling every time he remembered Arez's decision to donate his internal organs.

"God Bang, we need to run a test before I actually die and my organs are taken. Not necessarily the same as you. Even if it's not you, it will also be someone else who receives it" Arez insisted. The man did not move even a little from his sitting position.

"Whatever, I make sure it's not me."

"But my hunch says, this heart will beat in your body in the future. Bang, only you can. Take care of Mommy, Dad and..." Arez hung up his sentence. He looked at me who was still standing at the door of the car and kept it open. Arez's eyes glazed over before continuing his sentence. "Was. If not lo, I don't know who else to ask to take care of him."

"Why should I? Why don't you take care of him yourself?" If Arez could insist on forcing his will, I could do the same.

"Bang, my condition is getting worse. I have fainted often. The doctor also told me that my life expectancy was running low. You want to see me die in vain without being able to leave anything?"

I didn't respond to Arez's words. The man looked cynical looking at me. He said, "We're both dying, Bang, but what doctor ever told you about your life threshold? No, right? Well I, can last up to the next three years already thankfully."

Arez no longer debating my silence. He chose to leave after asking me to think carefully about his decision.

After Arez's departure, I chose to linger in the car. Thinking about what a burden that eight-year-old boy was carrying over me.

***

Two months after our fight, Arez and I were completely out of touch. All the messages and phone calls I never cared about. Even I blatantly ignored him when he showed up in the LF lobby. Until one day, we met in the first place we met. As an inpatient.

My condition decreased due to office activities that drained a lot of energy. Eomma even asked me to get out of the LF when I found out that my health was declining. But I insist on refusing the request of the woman who gave birth to me. While Arez, once again fell unconscious, even had been unconscious.

"Gue said what, we have a destiny bond, Bang."

"If you're stubborn, I can do the same."

"Well, how dong, I already filled all the approval files of internal organ donors if at any time I die. Your name is also already listed as one of the recipients of the donor tuh," said Arez really without burden.

I'd love to hit him if I don't remember our physical condition dying together. Although I was upset, I was only able to hold him back from getting out of control and making a fuss. It's not really something to do in a hospital, is it?

"Why do you think I could easily manage all this, Bang? My grandfather owned this hospital. Even if Mother does not want to inherit this hospital, but my aunt still has power. It is not difficult to manage my decision. Most importantly, all my organs are well worth donating."

I was really struck by Arez's words. Does he not understand my position? I don't want to accept a heart donor from whoever it is, but if Arez's life is still workable, why would he choose to prepare for all that death?

"Bang, I told you, right, I'm not doing this for free. There are responsibilities that you have to bear in return."

"If so, I don't care more about your decisions. Please find someone else, but not me."

By pushing the infusion pole, I returned to the room. Pensively thinking of Arez's words that further irritated me. Doesn't his family own the hospital? If his family knows more about health, why not do everything possible to cure Arez? Why did he obey the will of the boy?

As my mind was busy looking for various answers to Arez's decision, the door I was looking after, was knocked on by someone from the outside. A middle-aged woman with a classy outfit, greeted me with a friendly smile. I don't know who that woman is.

"Son Araz, right? I am Elis, the woman who gave birth to Arez. Can we talk to you for a second?" greet the woman did not take off the friendly smile from her face. I could only nod and sit down. "I've heard Doctor Bella's explanation of Nak Araz's condition. And so did Arez. Although I'm not a specialist, I also learned a little bit about your condition."

The woman paused her words. Although he tried not to shed tears, but I could clearly hear his voice trembling. Withstanding crying.

"It's not easy for us to accept Arez's decision, son. Especially for us, Arez is the only child we have. But, what can parents do other than obey the will of their children? Arez insisted on donating his internal organs because he did not want to be considered dead in vain. It was also difficult for Arez. What can a boy whose age is not even long anymore. You must have heard from Arez right, if the therapy or treatment during this time only slows down, not cure. You still have a longer life expectancy, son. Even though you can't avoid the pain."

"Why don't you do everything you can to heal, Arez?" tanyaku remains adamant about rejecting Arez's decision.

"What can we do? If we can and are able, we will do anything for Arez's recovery. But the condition of his brain that was injured was really quite severe. He is still given a chance to live, we are grateful even though it will not be long. It's not a form of despair, son. We are following God's will. We continue to strive all means for your healing without anyone being sacrificed."

"Then don't let him sacrifice for me" I said firmly.

The woman who claimed to be named Elis, was only able to look at me with a dreamy look. There were so many words he wanted to say, but my unfriendly attitude made him stop talking. He begged me to say after saying that I would think again about Arez's offer.

***

It was almost 10:00 p.m., when I decided to walk down the deserted hospital corridor. I was tired of being in a room smelling carbolic, even though I still smelled the same aroma outside. At least I can feel the wind.

I tighten the cardigan that bandages my body to keep it warm. If the nurse found out, a patient with a heart defect like me coming out of the room overnight, would have nagged me and asked me to come back. Luckily the guard room in the VIP special room is not a person. So I easily slipped into the park. A moment of breathing the night air that is certainly not good for my health.

Fifteen minutes, I sat on a cold park bench thinking about both Arez and his mother, over and over again. However I contemplated it, my mind and heart still rejected Arez's wishes. It is not easy to accept such a big thing, when you know there will be many people who feel lost. Especially when knowing the fact that Arez's parents actually objected to the boy's decision.

The younger brother who was eight years apart from me was born with the same condition as me. Even his condition got worse because he was born prematurely. Throughout his life, he spent more time in the hospital. At least I can still live like a normal person even with limitations. Adhyaksa spent more than half of his life in hospital.

So what if I finally give up on this condition? Even so, I also sometimes think of ending my life instead of feeling endless pain. Even I often blame God, why am I not the only one who replaced Adhyaksa? Why am I still given a chance to live longer, if only to trouble them?

My daydream was interrupted when I saw some sisters running towards the VVIP room not far from my room. They're pushing tools that I don't know what they're called. Out of curiosity, I followed their hasty steps. For some reason, my intuition told me they were headed for Arez's room.

True allegations. From behind the slightly open door, I saw a doctor examining Arez. The boy was in a lot of pain while holding his head. I couldn't even hear the screams of her pain and chose to leave before the sisters realized I wasn't in the room. Unfortunately, when I turned around, a doctor complete with a snelli coat caught me as a big burua.

"What are you doing here, Araz? You're no longer even a teenager, you can sneak in at night."

Doctor Bella, who has been working on my case since moving to Jakarta, grabbed my ears and dragged me back to my room. All the way I groaned in pain. He just took his hand off my arm when he got to the hospital room.

"I'm 29 years old, Doc. Maybe the doctor's gonna treat me like a kid."

The 45-year-old doctor laughed in response to my protest. He's the only doctor who thinks of me as a patient and a friend. With him I don't worry about having to respect older people. Because they don't want to be treated similarly. In fact we look more like sisters to him, than patients. Yes, there's a doctor who taps the patient's ear.

"Your age may increase, but your behavior remains as a child. What were you doing in front of Arez's room?"

"I'm just curious, Doc."

"It's still the same as it used to be. Secretly always peek into the room of another patient. He was my senior son in college. And I've also heard of his decision to donate his internal organs. Also what is his health condition. My advice, you should do the examination one more time. You also deserve to live, Raz."

"By sacrificing others? I don't think it's easy, Doc."

"Yes, but we can't just change the wishes of others, Raz. I thought Arez thought of his decision with all the risks."

"Doctors don't talk about this because they're in cahoots with Arez and his family, right?"

"Well, let's just say so" said Doctor Bella before leaving the room. He asked me to go to bed before closing the door.

Throughout the night, my mind grew tired from Doctor Bella's words. Why does everyone seem to support Arez's decision which is still beyond my reasoning?

***

Early in the morning, Arez had appeared in my room, even before breakfast was ushered in by a special officer. His face looked fresh compared to yesterday which looked pale. He no longer even screamed in pain holding his head like I saw last night.

"Don't you really want to accept my offer?" ask the man without further ado. He sat under my feet watching me reading a book. "Bang!"

"Gue still hasn't changed his mind" I replied without taking my eyes off the book I was reading. But Arez grabbed the book and threw it on the floor. "What do you mean? It's still early in the morning, don't make me fuss!"

"Gue will continue to fuss, as long as you have not received my offer."

My mouth is mute. No interest in retaliating Arez's statement. The man now moved to sit next to me using a chair for the patient.

"Just undergo a series of tests. If our organs don't match, I'll never bother you again. How's it?"

"Don't waste time on the uncertain!"

"Bang!" Arez seemed frustrated in response to my treatment. "How do you want to accept my offer?"

"It doesn't have to be how. I don't forbid you to donate organs in lo, but I make sure I don't accept."

"Gue love the same, Kanya, Bang. Both my parents are too. More than anything. If I can, I want to keep them. If I could also wish to rejoice them before they die. What can I do? I asked, what if my life was in the hands of a doctor?" asked Arez in a hysterical tone to my surprise. "Gue also wants to live another thousand years if necessary. I also want to keep them going, Bang. But I can't do that. You can do it, Bang!"

Just that time I saw Arez so desperate. He even cried in front of me who could only look at him.

"Gue's sick too, Bang. I am also sick to realize the fact that my life cannot last long. I'm also sick because I can't be a parent's pride."

Arez's emotions exploded. I don't know how long he's been holding all his feelings alone. But it is clear, the turmoil that he had been deliberately storing behind his cheerful face.

"Okay, I'll accept your offer, but promise me one thing, never force me to do another silly thing if our test results do not show a match" I said in the end.

Arez's smile expands. Although that face still showed a depressed expression that he could no longer hide.

"Deal?!"

Arez reached out and half-heartedly greeted.

"Deal!" my words imitate his words.