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The Beautiful of Lokcan

Everyone is born into a memory. It will all end with words. I used to study with him. I used to talk to him a lot. I used to live in the same area as him. I just hope whatever the memory is a pleasant and happy memory. It makes you smile, not cry. Because nothing is eternal in this world. The only thing eternal is love.

I opened my eyes slowly. Opening my eyes makes me tired. I kept trying to open it and focus my eyes. I vaguely saw some people looking at me with worried faces, but also enthusiastic. Why is there a doctor in my room? I heard my mother's voice calling my name. I tried to deny it, but no sound came out. I felt my throat dry and I had no energy to make a sound.

“It's okay. It'sit's okay. Don't force it, Ai,”speak someone. I don't recognize this voice.

I keep trying to open my eyes. Finally, I can see everything clearly. There was my mother, my father, and also a doctor. I think I know this doctor. I remember where I met this doctor. His face was really familiar, but I couldn't remember it. I turned my eyes around the room. Everything is white. I think I'm in the hospital. Why am I in the hospital? I wanted to ask my mother, but I couldn't let out my voice at all.

The doctor took a glass of water on a table not far from my bed. He gave the water to me using a tablespoon. I felt my throat get wet and I could let out my voice.

“Why am I here?”I looked weak and weak at my mother who was next to the doctor.

“The story is long. Mom will tell me later. You rest,” replied my mother. His voice was so enthusiastic that I opened my eyes and spoke.

I wanted to get back to my mother's answer, but I was tired. My eyes feel heavy. I closed my eyes slowly. I still hear my mother telling me to rest and not to push myself. I also still hear my mother talking to the doctor. Then, I felt a light rub in my head.

“You have done well. Thank you for coming to this world again. You are strong.”

*****

I opened my eyes and looked around me. This time I did not feel tired and heavy to open my eyes. My cut didn't hurt either. I move my head to the right, then to the left. I'm looking for my parents. There's nothing here. There's just me. I saw a big glass window in this room. Looks like it's afternoon. I looked at the wall clock in front of me. At 5pm. My parents might be outside or talking to the doctor.

Speaking of the doctor. I remember where I met him. I still can't find the answer. I dispelled those thoughts and began to compile my memories looking for answers to why I was in the hospital. What the hell happened to me? All I remember is I cried because of a secret May told me that night. Then, I slept in my rented house and I..... . I'm not here. I'm back in the old High School days. I met him. I met the Son. He loves me too. He misses me too. I felt tears wash my cheeks. Everything still feels clear. The time I spent with him was still like I felt it. I hugged her for the first and last time.

I try to sit down. My breath feels choked. I patted my chest softly. It hurts a lot to remember I'm not with him anymore. I cried sobbing and still patted my chest.

“He loves me. She loves me.” I keep repeating that sentence.

I did not hear the sound of my door being opened. I'm still crying. A voice that sounded worried and footsteps that walked quickly approached me.

“Why are you, Ai? What's that hurt? Which one hurts?”tanyanya's worried.

I didn't answer. I didn't look at his face either. All I know is he's a doctor from the white coat he wears. I'm still crying. He didn't ask any more and just watched me cry. Slowly, he walked to the side of the bed to approach me. He stroked my head a few times, then stretched his arm around my shoulder. She hugged me. Just a quick glance to calm me down. But my crying is getting louder. He patted my back, occasionally stroking my head. Didn't say anything.

*****

It's 10 at night, but I still can't sleep. The doctor had to leave me because there was an emergency patient he had to check on. He regretted leaving me, and I still cried even though I did not sob. I told him to see the patient immediately. He shouldn't be in my room too long either. Moreover, he only calmed me down crying for 15 minutes. I told you, I'm the hardest to stop crying.

A few minutes later, I was examined by a resident doctor. A nurse helped me to dinner. I thought I wouldn't feel hungry, but I finished all the food the hospital served. My voracious soul will food unchanged as it turns out. Then, I was advised to rest. I've tried to close my eyes and try all the good positions to sleep in, I still can't close my eyes. I want to see the sky tonight. Are there stars there? I changed my position from lying down to sitting on the bed. I looked at the large hospital glass window, but it was covered in curtains. I still keep looking at him. I looked away when I heard the door of my room open.

“Still not sleeping?”tanyakanya. This time he didn't wear a doctor's suit. He wears an ash-colored shirt whose shirt hands are rolled up to the elbows. Black material pants and black pentafol shoes. His brownish hair was combed back, but his eyes looked tired. He seems to be lacking rest.

“Can't sleep, Doc,”I replied.

“Waah. Finally I heard you talking,”reply. He was standing beside my bed.

“Doctor heard me talk earlier. When I realized I was talking.”

He chuckles at my words. “I think tomorrow you can go home. You can already debate,”tapnya while checking the infusion hose.

He came back next to me and looked at me. “Did anyone get sick? You have a complaint?”tanyakanya.

I returned his gaze as a patient. “Nothing, Doc. Still safe until now, my answer. He chuckled again at my answer. I watched his face carefully. I remember meeting him.

“We've met, Doc? Doctor kayak no stranger that,”tanyaku.

He took a chair not far from the table and sat down beside my bed. “Oh yes? No stranger how?”tanyakanya. He took an apple on the table. He could reach it with his long hands. Then, he peeled it off.

I noticed her relaxed style like not meeting patients, but friends. Why is he sitting next to me peeling an apple if he's checking on a patient.

“I seem to have met the Doctor, but I don't remember,”.

“It was this morning when you realized, you met me,”he replied.

This doctor seems to want to make me sicker. How hard is it to make it easier for patients to answer their questions correctly. No need to twist.

“Sorry Doc then. I may have wrong people. Maybe just chicken memories.” I'm trying to be polite and not argue with him because he's my doctor at the moment. Strange enough to invite this doctor to argue only a matter of vague memory.

A few moments quiet. He was eating the apple he was eating. I thought he was gonna give it to me. Uh he ate it himself. It was also the fruit in my room. Why did he just relax being here as if he had been in this room so often?

“Hungry yes, Doc?”my many.

“Yes, I haven't had dinner yet. There was an operation,” he replied. “Eh, you want?”tanyanya looked at the look in my eyes that were still watching her from earlier.

“Ngak, thanks. Why did the Doctor come to my room instead of dinner?”my many.

“You really don't want the apple? Delicious,”tanyanya again. He switched the conversation.

“Aaah. May the doctor be one of the sources I have interviewed, yes?” I didn't answer. I also switched the conversation. He is the only one who can.

He looked at me for a moment, then walked towards the table. He took a glass of water from the dispenser. He placed the small knife he wore to peel the apples on the table. Then, walk and sit back in his chair. He sipped the water.

“You really don't remember?”tanyakanya. His face looks serious. His forehead creased slightly and his eyes narrowed.

“Ngak, Doc,”my answer.

“Know Doctor Fani?”

“Iya, know.”

“Then you know me?”

I turned my eyeball to the right and remembered her relationship with Doctor Fani. I opened my mouth and closed it with my right hand. I remember now.

“Can't Doctor Fani?”my many.

“Whose name?”askalanya.

“I do not work so you forget,”replynya. His eyes were upset because I didn't remember them.

“Not so. I forgot that doctors are doctors too.”

“Doctors are also doctors?”

“I mean that the Stars are also doctors. Though Doctor Fani has told me,”I replied.

“You remember the same Bang Fadlan doang, sih.”

“Ngak. I remember Bang Ilham, Brother Mona, Zaid, Zahrah, Fika.”

“But forgot my equal?”

“Soalya we do not chat,”elakku. I wanted to laugh to see the look on his face like a child who was trying to defend himself, but was put down.

“Alesan aja you.”

I replied by putting on a self-defense smile. I admit it's just an excuse because I don't remember. He took his phone out of his pants pocket and checked the incoming messages from earlier. Looks like a message from the group. He just ignored her from earlier. I turned my eyes back to the window that was still covered in curtains. I really want to know if there are stars in the sky at the moment, but I am not yet strong enough to walk.

“You to there?” tanyanya who has kept her phone back in her pants pocket.

“Where?” askaku.

“From yesterday you saw that window continue. Yuk, I'll help you get there. You must be bored to see this room continue.”

The star had risen from his chair. He pulled over the blanket that covered my legs, then lifted my feet towards the floor. He wrapped his left arm around my shoulder to help me stand up. Then, he shifted the infusion pole with his right hand. He helped me walk slowly while shifting the infusion pole.

A few minutes later, we arrived at the window. He pulled the curtain so that the night view could be seen. He still had his left arm around my shoulder. I let it go because my legs are still not very strong.

The view tonight is beautiful. The hospital is on the side of the road. So, the atmosphere of Depok city streets immediately plastered themselves here. As always, there are still many vehicles pacing around here. Different from the streets in my hometown. This clock is rarely seen in vehicles. I turned my eyes to the sky. Darkened. There are no stars. It is different from the sky in my hometown. The sky looks bright with the stars even though it is this hour.

“Not a star,”I'm disappointed.

Silent moment. “Who says there is no?”tanyakanya.

I turned my head to the left looking at it. My eyes demanded an answer. He turned his eyes to me, then smiled. “This is next to you?”

I immediately changed the look of my face to flat. This one doctor was crisp at his jokes. He laughed at my expression. “Yah not wrong dong. Kan I Star,”he said on the sidelines of his laughter.

“There are no stars in the sky,”mycoreks.

“Well it's new right.”

He stopped his laughter. I also turned my eyes back to the sky. Star searching. Doesn't he miss me?

“Although there are no stars, but the sky is beautiful,”ucap Stars. He was also looking at the sky right now.

“True. Like any color, the sky will still be beautiful,”balaku.

We were swept away by the view tonight. The bustle of Depok city and the beauty of the sky even though I still haven't found any stars there. Actually, I'm a little disappointed. This is my first day back here. I don't know if he misses me or not. I closed my eyes and whispered words of love to her in my heart.

“There are stars in the sky,”ucap Stars. I immediately opened my eyes.

“Where?”

“It's on the left. Small-time. I think he is far from the earth, ” he replied.

L saw. I saw that star. He misses me just as much as I miss him. I smiled happily. I didn't realize someone was staring at me.

“Already? Going to bed now?”ask Stars.

“Iya,”I replied with a smile.

He helped me get back to the hospital bed. He put his arm around my shoulder. I finally got to my bed.

“Still,”my still in a sitting position.

“Nope,”balance. “Now time to rest,”next. He set my pillow and laid me on the bed.

“I can do it myself.”

The star straightened its body and placed both of its hands on its waist. He put on a tired face to argue. “Good night,”title. He walked towards the long sofa that was in this room. Wait for. He's gonna sleep here?

I re-energized my body. He's lying there. “Why is it still here?”many confused.

He rearranged the pillow that was already under his head. “Tonight it was my turn to take care of you, ” he replied.

“Means?”ask again. A turn? Watch me? Where's my parents? I forgot about my parents.

“I mean you have to sleep now because it's about midnight. I am also sleepy and want to rest, ” he replied. Not helping at all.

“My parents where?”

He tilted his body to face me. One of his hands rested on a pillow on the sofa. “While resting at your rented house. Not much more. Let's rest now, ” he replied. Then turned his body back to face the sky of this room.

I put my body back on the bed. I also looked at the sky of this room. I just remembered that I haven't asked about what happened to me. What caused me to be in the hospital. Suddenly a voice brought me back to the real world.

“Ai.. Sometimes we do feel there is some injustice in this life. We ask why and how. But life has no right answer. It's been like that from the beginning. Don't question. Accept that pain, and healing will come. As a result, you will be strong. If you're infected with one virus, you'll get sick, then get well. The virus will not make you sick again even if he attacks you because your immune system already knows it and is immune.” The star voiced his thoughts. What does it mean to say those words. But enough to calm me down.

“Have a sweet dream,”t it again. Then, turn his body against the hospital wall.

“You too,”balasku. I just wanted to show if I listened to those words. I pulled my blanket and closed my eyes. Will be healed. I believe the pleasure journey is on their way coming to me. Once I meet that pleasure journey, I’ll grasp and hug it tightly.

For now, I will probably continue to think about it and miss it. It'sit's okay. Everything needs a process. I'm sure there will be times when I won't think about it every day. And when I remember the memory with her, I won't cry. There will come a time when I will feel relieved and understand this destiny.