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Could this be Just my Feelings?

Renjana Kanya's

"Anya, just be dumb. Eaten it, hunt it cold later," said the Son pruning daydreams in my mind.

I took a long breath. We were still in the hospital canteen at night. Ordering two bowls of hot meatballs and oranges that are starting to warm up. The son almost took the contents of his bowl. While I haven't touched it at all, except stirring the broth with no interest.

I stared at the meatballs in front of me with no taste. Mama may have realized and made me feel relieved, but there are still things that make my mind tormented. Especially if it wasn't my messages that Araz didn't reply to. Never reply, just read no.

Not to mention Eka's father who suddenly asked me to quit my job in Jakarta. The man asked me to be the manager of Putra so that the incident of beating my stepbrother some time ago did not happen again.

Yes, it happened a few hours ago, when Eka's father and I decided to go home for a while, before finally returning to wait for Mama at the hospital. The son had just finished his bath and had a sip of mineral water in the kitchen as they passed by. Which means, Putra has not had time to cover the bruises on some parts of his face that are still clearly visible.

Eka's father was shocked. He examined the face of his eldest son with a tense face holding back anger. There is no way he can be lied to if it is the act of ignorance of the Son that causes him to fall from the stairs or something. The first question that came out of Eka's father's lips clearly showed that he knew what had happened.

"Who is doing this with you?"

"Not intentionally, Pa."

"What intentionally? This was clearly done intentionally. Where there is not accidentally, but the scars to like gini. Tell me now, who does this like you?"

Eka's father's voice boomed. On his face was clearly the anger that was controlling him. Even as I was about to step away from that tense area, he sternly asked me to stay still on the spot.

"You know all this, don't you, Anya?"

The son signaled me to shake. Unfortunately the signal was only caught after I nodded my head.

"Why not say the same, Dad? You guys purposely covered this up?"

"It's not Kanya's fault, Pa. Iky asked Anya not to tell Papa."

"Well what?"

The son was silent for a moment before finally answering in a low voice that was barely audible. "Iky doesn't want to, Papa overreacted in Papa's way."

"Rizky Mahameru's son! What parent would you think would see their child hurt by someone else?"

"Yes, but it doesn't have to be Papa's way, does it? Management has solved all of these things. So, Papa doesn't have to worry."

Eka's father let out a long breath. The man suddenly looked tangled and looked older than his actual age. He sat on one of the table benches and propped his head up with his palms.

"How can Papa not worry if it is about violence involving you. How can Papa be indifferent if you are like this. Must be the same day you also went through a difficult time that evoked those memories again, right?"

The Son's smile expands. The man placed the glass on the dining table and grabbed Eka's father's hand which was still supporting his head. The hand of the wrinkled man passed down almost all his genes to the Son. Although on the one hand they sometimes do not look familiar, now they look like children and fathers who strengthen each other.

"Son was lucky to have a sister who healed the pain, Pa," said Putra, making the man by half a century jolt. For a moment I saw a look of regret on the man's face. However, it immediately changed quickly when saying something unexpected by me earlier.

"Well, you can quit your job now and help your brother, right? As his manager, personal assistant, or whatever he calls it. I'll pay you three times as much. Or just name the nominal you want."

Moreover, this is a Son. Rizky Son of Mahameru. Band vocalist Nada Sumbang who is on the rise. The older half-brother who was also my ex-boyfriend. How can I manage to organize my heart without hoping that our story can still be repeated from the beginning, if distance always makes us greet each other and throw a smile or even a joke? Obviously a difficult thing to do.

"Sorry, I can't!" reject me firmly. Dad's face was shocked. However, he was quickly able to master his shock.

"Please think before you decide, Anya. I really need your help to keep up, Son."

"Pa, Iky is big. Why ask for things that don't make sense? Anya also has her own dreams."

"But in reality he's all you need every time you need peace."

It felt like my heart had collapsed hearing Eka's father's words. A feeling of disappointment quietly infiltrated without excuse. I wanted to shout angrily at him when he realized that I was all the Son needed, but he ruined everything.

Huffttt .. I took a deep breath. There is no place to think about and regret everything that has happened. For me free to think about the futile things that have been guessed how the end of the story. I don't like. Preferably when thinking about Araz has not been preaching and make my mood more messy.

Huufftt. A breath hard enough to make the Son sitting in front of me put down his cutlery. He looked at my eyes as if to say, "Can you now focus on eating and do not have to think about anything. Want to faint again because of dehydration?"

"What?"

"You know what I want to say. Can't do that?"

Before I answered Son's question, my hearing was distracted by the ringing tone of the incoming call. My eyes glazed over as I read the name that appeared on the screen. Alcatraz.

"Hallo" I said enthusiastically. However, the flowers that were originally in bloom suddenly withered when they heard Araz's voice.

"Hi, how are you, Nya? Sori, I didn't have time to tell you because I have to take care of this."

"Oh ... ."

My reply was short and suddenly not excited. Araz's voice was foreign to my ears. Even his greeting was unlike the Araz I knew and used to greet me with a soft and soothing voice.

It even felt like there was something a little forced in his voice. It was as if the man was not wanting to be absorbed by everything that made him burdened. I don't know. Maybe it's just my feelings. Or maybe the result of a longing that is too hot.

"I'm really sorry, His. You mad?"

I subconsciously snorted in annoyance and spilled out everything that was troubling my mind. However, the man's answer actually made my heart more bitter when tears actually took part. Sucks.

"Hemm, his sori, I think we should please phone him first. I'll call you again. I eat first. Hungrier. Do not forget to eat either. See you, it's."

Whatisthis? Just that only? He wasn't even excited when I said Mama was conscious. What the fuck?

Without caring for my Son, I got up from my seat and left the man who now called my name and ran after me.

Araz, suck! In three days he changed! Huufftt... Free I nangisin kayak that person!

Even so, tears still flowed down my cheeks.