Go home

Meaning of Friend

Renjana Kanya's

Sure enough my guess, Almira was still waiting for us to arrive. At least he did not want to close his eyes when the condition of his stomach was getting bigger and needed a lot of rest. As a result Damarlah who messed with me. Still, Almira's husband hugged me tightly when we arrived. She even hugged me longer than Almira who felt uncomfortable due to her growing belly.

"Lo can't do it anyway, don't give us surprises. A few weeks no news, just know it's the same Araz. Though before fear, worry this, that's what. Now coming home all of a sudden, crying and saying if you want to stay here," Damar commented without pause while following me and Araz into the living room.

The big house was already quiet. Almira's parents are not visible. Maybe, it's been sleeping since. Even so, I still feel warm every time I visit this house.

"Tumben Anya, go home. Any more reporting assignments?" Almira asked no less enthusiastically.

For a friend who grew up with me, if I came home, he had a chatmate he could hang on to 24 hours. Even if necessary, I can serve as his accomplice to do as he pleases.

However, noticing my overcast face, Almira understood that something had happened. Even though I haven't told them why I came home this time.

"Everything's fine, isn't it, His?"

Damar was also curious about the silence that enveloped us all of a sudden. I smiled stiffly. Not knowing how to respond to their questions. Araz can only hold my shoulder to channel power. Although in the end, my tears spilled as well and hugged Almira.

"What the hell is it, Bang?" ask Damar, getting curious. He could not suppress any longer the curiosity that plagued his mind. While I was still sobbing in the arms of Almira.

"Mama Kanya, was taken to the hospital yesterday. Papa Putra said that his condition is not good enough now. His content was disturbed due to impact when he fell. It is likely that the operation will be carried out if both conditions worsen. So Papa Putra asked Kanya to come home. But I guess, you guys better understand how Kanya is with her Mama," Araz's story represents me answering Damar's question.

Hearing Araz's statement, Almira further strengthened her embrace. The woman's soft hands caressed my hair. Even if he tried to strengthen, he still could not hide his tears. We cry while hugging. Until I felt another hug that was more burly and warm. Dammar.

"Gue knows you definitely won't want to hear this now, but as your best friend, I ask, I beg you, Kanya. Meet Aunt Sukma. I won't ask you to go there now. We'll wait till tomorrow. We will both take you. Become a force for you. So where you lean. But you have to promise me one thing, you have to want to meet Aunt Sukma.

You have to accept the truth, Kanya. After all, Aunt Sukma is a mother who has given birth to you. Even if you want to deny it, you can never. Because the reality is that Aunt Sukma is Mama lo."

Damar's faint voice rang out my ears, like a magical spell he deliberately cast to open my mind. The cold suddenly flushed all over my body. There is a burden that seems to slowly expand. Replacing increasingly violent cries for the sake of releasing the feeling of pain, disappointment, maybe also a grudge that has been too deep frozen in the soul.

"Here, just rest now. You must be tired after a long journey. Tomorrow, we take you to the hospital to see Aunt Sukma."

Damar's embrace loosened. And so did Almira. The woman looked at my face and wiped away the tears that had soaked her cheeks. Her lips forced a smile.

"You can do it, Anya. You have a big heart to apologize and accept forgiveness from Aunt Sukma. No, no more crying. I'll sleep with you tonight."

"Of course, don't say that. Just like anyone. Mas, take Mas Araz to his room huh. Let me go with Kanya tonight."

Damar simply nodded in reply to Almira's statement. The man who would soon become the father, drove Araz to the guest room that had been prepared. While Almira and I headed to another room that I often used to stay overnight after my two best friends were married.

...***...

My eyes have not been closed yet. The clock on my watch screen shows at 04:00. I should be able to sleep well because I am tired after a long trip, but in fact my eyes have not been closed. The words of Son, Araz, Damar, Om Eka until Almira alternately scrambled for a place in my head.

They supported me to see my mom. Resolving the problem that has left us both injured, but too prestige to admit it. Again, that is the reality we are facing. It may be true that we are both selfish and that selfishness hurts us.

However, Almira's words were precisely the one that bothered me the most. Do I really have a big heart for forgiveness? Or maybe even forgive?

I doubt. I doubt if I can do what Almira believes in me. I was too cowardly to admit that I was involved in this. I was also guilty and selfish with my actions choosing to run away from home.

If you were alive, he might be disappointed in me. Disappointed with my attitude that actually exacerbated all the problems I was facing. For he always advised not to avoid problems, but to face them with courage.

Daddyh. Suddenly tears flowed again in memory of the man who became my first love. In the past, when I fought with names, dad was always the first one to calm me down. Giving understanding how to understand mom with all her perfectionist attitude. Giving an understanding of how to accept mama with a pretentious attitude set her up. Making plans so that my mother and I can compact even though in the end only one of the ten plans that were implemented and managed to make us both laugh.

I think those times were very pleasant. Once upon a time, I was able to complement each other with my mom when my dad left us first. I can do it. However, why now did it feel so hard to accept the woman's attitude?

"Dad, if Dad were alive, what would you do to reconcile us? Can you also feel the disappointment you feel, Kanya? Or will you take Mama's side, this time?

Don't know what to do, Dad. Kanya doesn't know how to behave. It feels so painful. But they are also not wrong when reminding Kanya, to apologize first with Mama. Let it feel so heavy, Dad."

I sobbed. Spill out all the raging flavors. Until I felt Almira's embrace grabbing my body. Gave a long-lost warm feeling.

"There's no harm in apologizing first, Anya. Especially the woman who gave birth to us. You are strong yes. I'm sure you can get through all this."

"Gue can't lie to my own feelings if it's too painful, Mir."

"Yes, I understand what you mean, Him. Try to accept everything with a chest of air. I know it's hard, but I believe you can. Trust me, you can get through all this. You're powerful. And God must love you so much because you're still given the chance to fix everything."

My tears are getting unstoppable. I curled up in Almira's arms. Hope the morning comes soon and time brings me to meet mama. I don't know what happens next. I have to prepare myself from this moment on.