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The Beginning of a Problem

The sunlight keeps me flinching. I always enjoyed it even though it dazzled my eyesight. I really like the sun. It was so good that I was able to enjoy the light. I feel. I'm alive. Just by looking at the sun I will feel calm and remind me to continue to be enthusiastic in living my life. Like a flower that is wilting and will start to come back to life after being exposed to the sun, I am like that too.

I am currently in the office meeting room. This is my favorite place. I can see the sky clearly from here. The blue sky has always been the place of my complaints because I don't know where else I complain. This meeting room is located on the 3rd floor of the office. The room was not very spacious but it was enough to accommodate 50 employees. There are also two fairly large book closets. There are books on editing and health. I work at an online health app company in Depok. This company is a growing company. I work as a Content Writer. I was responsible for writing a minimum of health articles every day, doing interviews with several doctors, and discussing with doctors about articles I wrote. I really enjoy this job because I love to write. Besides, I also became more aware of health issues.

How long have I worked for this company? I started counting it with my hands. I worked here for 2 years. I haven't been home for 2 years either. Actually, I miss my father, mother, and sisters in Medan. I also miss Medan foods, such as yam leaf vegetables, anchovy sambal, lontong medan, and my favorite food, Toge Panyabungan. Just thinking about it made my stomach sound. I had lunch with rice Padang. I miss my high school too. I laughed a lot, but I cried a lot. These memories I still remember often. I wrote it in my book because I was afraid I would forget. I don't want to forget them, those memories. Because with those memories, I felt happy even though I would cry in the end. Because with his message, I became strong. And if I go back there, I'm sure I won't be okay.

Never mind. Why did I think about it. I've promised to try to stop thinking about it and try to open my heart. 10 years of giving my heart to her is enough. It's time I quit. Aye, right?

I took my phone out of my blazer pocket and photographed this beautiful sunshine. I stretched out my hand in front of the camera to banish the sunlight that dazzled my eyes. I really like portraits like that. It was as if I could reach the sun. It's been. I put my phone back in my blazer pocket. I need to get back to work. Mba Sarah, senior content writer, would nag if I was here too long.

“From the meeting room, Ra?” ask Mba Sarah. I even just sat in my cubicle.

“Iya, Mba. Full head feels so good,” I replied.

“Tomorrow you yes who interviewed Doctor Fani.”

Whahuh? I didn't hear wrong, did I? Doctor Fani and I are not very suitable. I always patted her chest every interview with her. He'll comment on the questions I ask. He would also ask me some health questions when I was not a child. He will also comment on my taste for clothes that seem monotonous because I only like dark and plain colors. Meanwhile, Doctor Fani is very feminine and likes colorful clothes and flowers. He would also ask me about my knowledge of English Sasra because I was a graduate of English Literature. He knows a lot about English literature because he loves classic novels. An interview that is supposed to end for 1 hour will end for 3 hours. In the end, I had to overtime because I had to write the results of interviews and also some articles. It all just happened to me. He will be friendly with other content writers.

“ Well, Mba. Don't be the same Aira was the interview. I knew Doctor Fani didn't like me. The one with Doctor Fani will be poking around to hear my question. Though mah in my opinion has been a good question,” reject me hope Mba Sarah agrees with this statement of mine.

“Mba has contacted Doctor Fani, really. He said OK with your interview. I haven't seen Aira.” in a long time

“Sama Dance aja, Mba. Dari kan recently interviewed Doctor Fani several times. Tell me Aira's busy. Be busy again, Mba.” I made my voice as clear as possible so that Mba Sarah at least felt like her mother was this junior.

“Busy from where? The interview with Dr Farhan has been published. It's okay, Aira. Not good too Doctor Fani if suddenly had to change the interviewer. OK yeah. Tomorrow, 1pm at his house. You know his house?” mba Sarah Long.

This failed to persuade Mba Sarahnya. “Iya, Mba. Aira knows. But what's in her house, Mba? Usually in the clinic?” my many.

“Ndon't know. Nice dong Ra at his house. Not far from the office. Don't forget tomorrow,” replied Mba Sarah.

“He is, Mba.”

Pray that the interview will not be completed until Maghrib. The next day I have to be late too. Just accept. His name is also Rakjel (Rakyat Jelata). His job is to take orders and carry them out. Hopefully tomorrow Doctor Fani's mood is good.

*****

I went straight to my favorite bed when I arrived at my rented house. I've lived here from the beginning working in Depok. House plot 3 bulkhead consisting of the front room, room, kitchen, and bathroom. It is quite large if occupied by itself. The location is also not too far from the office. Just 10 minutes by ride the online ojek application.

I opened my social media and a lot of Direct Messages came in. Ah yeah. Today is my birthday. Why can I forget when I celebrated with my office friends this afternoon. Maybe because there is nothing special. Every birthday is the same. Saying congratulations and eating. His words are almost the same every year. Prayer is given health, happiness, fluency, and lastly definitely a mate. Not only office friends, family, school and college friends, and online friends as well. Why is it always the same? I should have been more grateful that someone remembered it. Thank you, Lord.

I opened the WhatsApp application and sure enough, there have been messages from 2 of my friends. They are May and Ami. My best friend at High School and until now. Actually we are friends of five, but 2 other friends of mine have left us and will never come back again. Just be the three of us. I opened the message and replied.

Ami:

Happy birthday, Rara. Do’anya is still the same as the years kemaren hehe. His age is blessed, given health, long life, happiness, and all business is done. Daan do’a the last is that his soul mate accelerated yes the same path of Allah. Miss youu. When are you back?

I smiled to myself reading a message from Ami. Yes, my path has accelerated. There are – only.

*I:

Aamiins. Thank you so much do’anya. Let me go to the state not alone, am I? Hidhi. Back away? Lebaran, Mi.

Ami:

The leafan? Long time. Yesterday you also said it was Eidan but not back as well. Don't want to go home, do you?

Me:

Ami:

Busy holidays in the country of people tapinya yes. Go home this lebaran. I want this lahiran. Also yesterday when I got married you didn't come home. You should go home this year. Just watch. The pilgrimage too. You never made another pilgrimage after graduating High School*.

The pilgrimage? I often want to do it if I go home, but in the end I won't. I'm afraid I'm going to have a harder time forgetting it. I'm afraid I'm questioning destiny again.

*I:

The pilgrimage?

Ami:

Ja. Every time you return to the village, you will definitely not make a pilgrimage. In the village it is only 2 weeks. He must have missed you too.

Me:

2 Weeks is a long time ago. Haha miss? Yes kali. He talked to you, huh?

Ami:

2 Weeks a year is a little cuy. She misses. He must have missed.

Me:

Tau from where?

Ami:

Tau aja's. Anyway, we have to go back and we have to make a pilgrimage. Take May too.

Me:

You know his secret? What exactly is the secret, Mi?

Ami:

Umm yes. But you also know that I won't tell you. Because it's...

Me:

Because you promised her. Gawk. There is no point in it being discussed either. I will not be able to change reality again.

Ami:

Da... It won't change reality. Btw, you have to go back anyway.

Me:

Yes, yes, Insha Allah*.

Am I sure I'm going back to that place? A place where all the memories I want to forget are. What the hell is the secret? Actually, I'm still curious. I've been wanting to know that secret for 10 years. The secret that Ami said was about the woman who was truly loved by the man. A man who creates memories I want to forget. The story I wanted to change was finally. However, I know how big my efforts are, the end will not change. It won't be able to.

I took my towel. I have to clear my mind and this tiredness with a shower. Korean drama of course. In my heart I pray that I can turn those memories into memories and store them in a folder. Then, I will create new memories with men that I can reach. Can I meet that person this year, God?