
Renjana Kanya's
"Woi crazy, where the hell lo, I callin, chat, no one bales. Your number is also inactive. Want to play some more?" The son's voice sounded upset from across the phone.
I had just finished lunch when the man called me. Shortly before I could send him a message.
"Well, where did you hear from last Saturday?"
I only chuckled in response to the Son's question and made the man extend his scolding even more. Not when he was a girlfriend, not since he was a big brother, still he was still possessive. The difference is, he no longer shouts at me with the term crazy. Unknowingly my laughter broke even more as I imagined how the Son's annoyed face would be.
"Sori Kak, I had business to Bandung last weekend."
"Yes, you can say it before, Anya. Is it hard to stay on the phone or just send a chat?"
"Sori, hurry up Brother, don't miss the news. Anyhow important is your permission all?" I asked idly to make the figure across there raise his voice even more.
Then humble when I say, "Yes, I just want to be a caring sister anyway. Sori, if you're not comfortable."
"Eh, uh, that's not what I mean, brother. Well, baperan really lo."
"Yes how not baper, if anyone accidentally says," replied Putra to make me chuckle. "I'm sure if I don't call first, you won't tell me either?"
"There's a plan, I forget you every time I say."
"Goat emang. I want to tell you that I moved to the apartment. The plan is to make thanksgiving with the children of Nada Sumbang. Uh this is playing with no news."
The story of Son made me realize one thing. If Araz's apartment has changed ownership to belong to the Son, then where will the man live? Is it possible that he'll go home to his parents? If it is, then I will be the same as LDR-an dong?
Duh, imagining the last option somehow has made it difficult for me to breathe. Especially when I realized that Araz and I were just officially dating. Should the time be far away?
Hemm, I think I should ask Araz about that when I get home. Because, for the sake of hunting for breakfast, he forced me to take me to the office this morning. As a result, going home later, I will depend on him.
"His, how, the day after tomorrow can't you participate in the same event as children?" Son's question prunes my daydreams about Araz.
"Eh, yes. How, Brother?"
"Well, I'm afraid you're dead, Him. I didn't you just say that?"
"Hehehe.. sori, just the end. So, what did you say just now?"
"Good God, why have a bitch like this so yak."
"Oh, what's the story?"
"Yes, why am I not there beside you so I can not hold my head."
"Oh, just repeat what a hard thing."
"Oh... Say dong from earlier. I'll use the muter-muter show first."
"Oh, that's not scary."
"Haha... Yes maap, 'is not intentional, brother. What time is it?"
"Yes, you just stopped by after work. Help me prepare for all his needs. I plan to make a BBQ, but it's not possible in the apartment. Crazy, smelly smoke dong later."
"Well, you can use my dear brother's electric toaster. How the hell lo, the era is all modern as well. Still confused about making BBQ."
"Eh yes too. Yes sori lah, it has been a long time not living in a big city, for the sake of waiting for someone who does not want to go home," said Putra increasingly make me want to strangle the neck of the man. For who have I not been home all this time? Did he forget he was the main cause?
"Keep, just keep going until the mouth is curly. I'm just as surprised, brother. I am totally ashamed of my disgrace."
The voice of the Son's laughter sounded crisp in my ears. So carefree and sincere. That laugh provoked a smile on the corner of my lips. Hearing the laughter of the Son makes me grateful. We seem to have truly forgiven each other in the past.
"Him, you're still there, aren't you?"
"Yes bauble. Is there anything else?"
"Ehm, I can't accept Papa's decision completely... Mama Sukma, but you want to, when do we look at them together?"
I didn't answer the Son's question directly. Even though I have tried to make peace with the Son, it does not mean I can accept the decision to marry again. There were still feelings of pain that quietly infiltrated his heart when he remembered him easily forgetting the love of father.
After years of thinking about it, I now realize one thing. If it was someone else and not Om Eka who married my mother, I would have done the same. It turned out that it was not who the person who married the woman was, but what decision had been taken by her. And it was made worse by the existence of Om Eka who I hoped would be my father-in-law at that time.
Unknowingly, I took a long breath. Recall the hard times after Dad's departure. Compared to Mama, I am closer to the man who made me exist in this world. One week I locked myself in my room. Crying my sudden departure, it felt like taking half my life away. Skipping all calls, chats, to the visit of anyone who's looking for me.
However, one night, I heard Mama sob more bitterly than I had ever seen before. I still remember what the woman said the night I saw her sobbing.
"How can I go on living without you, Mom? How I can raise Anya alone. While he still needs you. He just wants to look at you. How can I be a good mother to my child. How am I supposed to get through this without you? How am I doing?"
That voice is now even tapping my cranium. So shrewd. To make my tears brittle, spilled back over my cheeks. From then on I promised, determined in my heart that I would be a submissive child to Mama. We are able to pass the test given by God by taking again what is really His. We embrace each other. Sharing the power we rarely did before.
Even after one year of Dad's departure, the tempest occurred. To break the promise and determination that I hold in my heart. That I would be a good and obedient child for Mama. All his sobs and complaints that night, as if evaporating just like that. Especially when I found out that she easily received the seed from a man who was not even her husband yet.
I feel betrayed. By the man I've been giving all my love and devotion as a child. My heart's torn. Be ill. How could anyone easily forget everything that had happened? One year is not a long time. Even I consider a year without Dad's presence so quickly passed. While the woman...
My chest felt tight as I recalled all the agonizing memories. I can't afford to go home and meet that woman. Even though I owed my life when she brought me into the world.
"Him, are you okay?" The voice of the Son interrupted my daydream. "If you mind, we can delay until you really want to go home."
"Sori Put, maybe not in the near future," I said at last before hanging up the phone.
My eyes feel hot. Slowly, tears began to fall down the cheeks. I sobbed. The burden I felt was still tight. I didn't even realize that someone was watching me in silence. I was shocked as he touched my shoulder and held out a mint-scented handkerchief that I had so memorized. Araz. Since when did he watch me cry?