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What News? I'm Missing

Renjana Kanya's

Hollowly. One word that is not even appropriate to describe my current feelings. I feel like my day is more than empty. There is no word to describe it. Too complicated. And, emptiness is only a narrow part of a taste.

At first, I felt normal when Araz did not send any news since his return to Jakarta. I didn't even intend to send him a message first, assuming that the man was busy with the project he was working on with Hanung. However, two days passed and he had not sent a message at all. I'm getting restless. My mind is not calm. Could something have happened to that man? So I decided to send him a message.

Anya

Hey you, how are you?

Is your day okay without me?

Is there anything interesting when we don't meet?

To you, I want to say that I miss

There's no answer. I waited for hours and there was no reply. All day long I waited. Hope the chat notification I sent turns blue, but until midnight it still remains gray.

Anya

Araz, been busy all day?

Check two, but still never turn blue.

Anya

My spirit, finish the project. Mas Hanung yesterday called me, he said he officially resigned from the office. Well, don't have any pimred that's bad anymore. 😄

Honey can't say goodbye properly. After all, Mas Hanung is still the best teacher for me.

Oh yes, Mama's condition has begun to improve even though she still sleeps long. But the doctor said, Mama is past her critical period. It's a miracle for someone who didn't have a life expectancy. God heard my prayer, Mom. God still loves me the chance to be with Mama longer.

Araz takes care of his health. Do not get tired of activities.

I still miss.

Is this what it feels like to be in a dilemma of an unrequited feeling? Until the day changed, I could not close my eyes and still stared at the screen of the device that occasionally blinked. Unfortunately, it's not the notification I've been waiting for since yesterday.

The clock on the wall of the room shows 02:00 in the morning. The disturbing feeling has not gone away. In order to get rid of the haunting bad thoughts, I got out of bed and headed for the kitchen. Intending to make instant noodles in hopes of treating my broken heart.

"Wakeup?" ask the Son as we are inserted on the most basic rungs. In his hand carried a cup of chocolate that was still reflecting hot steam. Apparently he also felt restless and decided to find calm through a cup of chocolate. Habits that have not changed.

"Yes, why you?" I replied at once asking while pointing towards the hot brown in his hand. The man laughed.

"Let's just say a lot of thought continues to be stricken with insomnia. You alone? Want to make instant noodles?" son commented while following me from behind and saw me open the cupboard where the groceries were stored. The man did not return to his room to see me busy in the kitchen.

"Yes. Think of insomnia as hunger."

"That's a stomach or a tub? Didn't you just get out of the hospital and eat?"

The son questioned my stomach which had been filled with fried rice before we came home from the hospital a few hours ago. It wasn't actually hunger that made me decide to cook instant noodles. It's just that excessive stress makes me feel hungry and need something to relieve it. Like hot chocolate for the Son that can relieve his bad mood. For me eating can also reduce my worsening mood.

"It looks bigger than this fuckin' bag. How, you want to too?"

"No. I've been avoiding eating instant noodles lately."

"Why? Believe that instant noodles can cause excess weight?"

"No, not that either."

"Then?"

"Hemm .. I don't know, I also don't know the exact cause, just the body becomes itchy after eating instant noodles. Maybe a few months ago. I forget when it is."

"Allergy?"

"Maybe."

I nodded in response to the Son's story. The man sat down at the dinner table and watched me from boiling water, to putting noodles and pouring seasoning into dishes.

"Where's Araz, you hear me?"

It felt like my face had suddenly tangled up when Son questioned about Araz. It was the man who made me unable to sleep until the morning. Then, the Son asked when I wanted to for a moment forget the pain I felt.

"Not yet, much more work is possible. It is not easy to create a media company. There must be a lot taken care of. Not to mention the preparation of the launch time. I think in the near future anyway," I replied as if I understood exactly what Araz was doing. Though in my heart I also asked, about what the man did until he did not have time to send a message.

"Yes, just understand. However 'it will also be for your future," said the Son successfully provoked laughter that since yesterday did not want to stop for a moment. His advice was like an old man, but it sounded wise in my ears.

"Yes, yes, Opa. Thanks for being reminded."

The Son's smile expands. His eyes that were as calm as the well came with a calming smile.

"We are like this, yes. Complement each other as brothers. I'm sorry if I dragged you into a difficult position. I should have been self-conscious. I should have protected you, not made things difficult for you."

"Yes, promise that we'll heal together, okay?" I stretched out a little finger. Smiling, the Son grabbed him and promised that we would both fight to recover from the agonizing pain of this feeling.

"Yes, I promise. We need to both heal!"

Our smiles are smelling. The aroma of instant noodles that I just poured into the dish a moment ago stirred up my appetite.

***

Anya

Good morning, Mas Araz. ☺🌤

How was last night? Sleep well?

Why would I wake up in the morning after only going to bed when the clock shows at 03:15, if not to say hello to Araz who has been missing for three days without news. Still, there was no response. The message I sent still ticks two grays. Signify if it has not been read.

Following the previous message, I sent a short message next.

Anya

Mas Araz, how are you? It's okay, isn't it? Really, I miss. Call me right away if you've read my chat, Mas. 🥰🤗

Message sent. And again there is no sign if it will be read soon.

Really, I was upset that man ignored me. He doesn't usually behave like this. Except when he went to the hospital and deliberately removed the tracks for fear that I could not accept his condition. However, the situation is different now. Or maybe he experienced something similar like a while ago?

Bad thoughts quickly overwhelmed me. I got out of my chat room with Araz and dialed the man's phone number. However, up to four times I tried to contact him, there was still no answer.

"Huh, what exactly is he? I love playing kayak gini!" I was upset while slamming my device on the bed. Still with mounting anger, I threw my body back into the bed. "This is what he says he wants to fall in love with every day? The guy he just said without news? Oh, or is he purposely trying to make me miss? Even if it is, obviously this is not a funny thing."

"Well, did you talk to yourself? Until I knock on the door there's no response."

Suddenly the door of my room opened and the Son turned his head from the outside. As he widened the door leaf, it was seen if it was ready with his jogging clothes.

"Rather than a bad mood mulu, go jogging yuk."

"Can! Yuk!"

Invite the Son immediately I will. After evicting the man from my room, I immediately changed clothes. Ignoring the drowsiness that still hangs in my eyes. Also on flat objects that do not also ring on jasur.

"You are the one who can ignore. I can too!"

In reality, I still grabbed the device and once again texted Araz despite still not getting the response I was expecting.

Anya

How are you, Mas? I miss.

Already, that's all I want to say to Mas Araz.

Happy activity yes. Don't forget to take care of your health! 🤗

It's not like me. But I can't keep waiting.