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Chasing Shadow

Renjana Kanya's

The day passed quickly. It felt like just yesterday I was in Bandung and visited Arez's house which turned out to be not in accordance with my expectations. But the truth is it's been a week since it happened and I still haven't found any clues about Arez. Neither Araz.

Mas Hanung had already searched for information about the man in his office. The result was quite surprising. Araz resigned three days after taking me to Sukabumi. The apartment of the man was empty. Even the owner of the building said that Araz's apartment unit had been sold. Her phone number has been inactive since she sent a message cancelling a date with me. I don't know if my number was blocked on purpose. It makes me wonder what Araz's connection is to disappear and the man's relationship with Arez. A thousand times I thought about it, never found the answer.

Anyway, I deny that they're brothers. Although both have a typical narrowed eye. But Arez's skin color tends to be dark. Not as white as Araz who even looks pale. The shape of the nose is equally sharp. Her lips are sexy and have the same softness. Gosh darn. I even imagined perverts about them in broad daylight like this. Even so, they still have no resemblance as brothers. Except for his attitude and gestures that have some similarities.

Could they really be brothers? Araz once said that his mother was Korean. Could it be that Araz has a tendency in his mother's genes and Arez tends to look like his father? But isn't Araz's sister dead? If it's true those brothers mean Arez already...

No, it can't be so, can it? Arez is certainly alive and happy somewhere. If it turns out he came from a distant place - as he said if he came from Planet Zenit - of course he could return safely and could not have had a plane crash that horrendous Milky Way. Yeah, it must be like that.

If so, then what about Araz? Didn't the neighbor say that the family's first child I visited last week was sick in Jakarta? If Araz is right, there is not a single patient on behalf of the man at home in Jakarta. Mas Hanung had already confirmed that to the point of almost despair.

Huuft. The more I get here, the harder it's going to be about Araz and Arez.

Ting...

A short message came in. I glanced at the screen and saw who the shipment was.

I'm downstairs. So lunch, right?

I smiled reading the short message and then packed the goods if necessary. At least the present presence of the Son can relax the nerves of my brain strained by thinking of Araz/Arez.

Nothing has changed in my life after breaking the truce with the Son, except a slightly airy feeling. At least I can sleep well without thinking about my problems with the Son. Making peace with pain is not always bad. I can even forgive myself for forcing her to get sick. As if wounded alone. Close your eyes if your son experiences something similar.

My deft movements made Vina who was sitting next to my cubicle bend her head. He's the most cocky creature if I pack at lunchtime.

"Yet another brother?" ask the woman curious.

I just nodded. He's the only one who knows if I'm the half-sister of vocalist Nada Sumbang who is loved by almost all residents of this office. I can't imagine how complicated my life would be if they knew I had closeness to the Son.

"So when do you want to know me as Arlan?"

Well, here's an example. I couldn't bear to accept a request like this every day. Enough Vina.

"When. Yea? I go first," I said as I peeked at Vina's head and managed to make the woman angry.

"Yes, iyuuhh... Fucking know it!"

I just laughed and gave a distant smile. Dani who passed me at the door just looked strangely. Perhaps the inner, the culprit of the problem began to act.

"Hey, Brother. Have you been waiting a long time?" I said to the man who was only a year older by the call of brother. At first the son felt uncomfortable. But over time he got used to it. "It's hard to live. So famous instead of living a good life, uh this is going everywhere use nyamar all."

"Well, we're brothers."

"Dear, you think infotainment will stop telling us about our sisters? Naw. They're going to take a deep look at our past."

"OK, and your future could be ruined with a snap of a finger." I shudder in horror at the power of infotainment that can take a person's life to its roots. I can't imagine how exhausting it would be if it had stumbled into a scandal. I didn't expect it at all. "So, where are we going to eat?"

"We went somewhere first" said Putra as he drove his car away from my office building.

***

My heart could not beat normally as the car that Son was driving entered the familiar apartment area in my memory. Maybe about a month ago, I visited this apartment. The place where I found warmth after a long time felt empty for quite a long time. The place where I tasted the most delicious cuisine I've ever eaten during my two-year stay in Jakarta. Ah, the place that made me remember Araz for a moment.

Heh, that name again. My heart aches enough when I remember his selfless passing. How important am I until he has to leave first?

"Udah. Yuk down!" invite the Son to break my daydreaming thread.

I followed the man's steps with a pounding heart. I can't deny it, my body is shaking too. Inwardly always hoping is not the same unit I once visited. I'm not ready to accept the fact that the apartment is uninhabited.

"Oh shit, why are we here?" I asked when we stopped at one of the apartment units I had visited.

"Yes, let me see you. The place is quite spacious, you can also stay here if you want."

"So this place is for sale?"

The son frowned when he heard my question. "Well, that's why I bought it. It is closer to the same location than the studio or basecamp. Same place you're not too far away if you don't want to stay here."

Mouth mute. I do not want to respond to the statement of the Son who suddenly made my breath suddenly congested. What kind of pain is this?

"Him, are you okay?"

"Eh?"

Smile adorns the corner of the lips of the Son. He pulled my hand slowly and led me into the apartment. Although it was as if it had been empty for a long time, the distinctive aroma that was smelled from Araz's body was wafting in the air. It made me even harder to breathe and forced me to breathe as much air as possible which made me lose control. My body fell to the floor. Tears can not be contained even though trying desperately not to cry.

"Him, hey. You why?" asked the Son while crouching in front of me. The man held me in his arms. My crying is getting out of control. "Hey, look at me. What's going on?"

"Gue.. i..."

I don't know what's going on either. My chest suddenly felt so painful when I realized the apartment unit was completely empty. I couldn't even hold back the crying. At that moment my eyes caught the shadow of someone standing in the kitchen. His hands deftly fried the churros dough. A smile does not touch his face.

Unknowingly, I ran towards the kitchen. Wishing the shadow I was chasing was real, but I only found a painful emptiness.