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Jealous

Renzana Alcatraz

Kanya's face turned pale shortly after staring at the screen. The woman's body moved restlessly beside me. Like something was troubling her mind. Could it be that she was always busy in the mind of that woman? Seeing his agitated attitude, I'm sure that man who again seized the attention as well as Kanya's mind.

Without being able to control it, I felt pain that often came when I saw Kanya close to the man. Even just to see him receive a message either call from the Son as he is now. I can't deny, I'm jealous if Kanya thinks of Son to take all her attention. My chest is so tight that I want to explode.

But what can I do? I have no rights over Kanya. Who would I dare ask him not to think of the Son? I was just a stranger who happened to like it, then forced the woman to come home under the pretext of accompanying me to cover writing materials. The rest of me is nobody who can ask Kanya to follow my wishes.

Still, I can't see him so agitated. Even his feet did not stop moving. Occasionally he stuck the end of the device on his forehead. It was funny to see the panic of the woman. But I could not bear to let it linger in the eternal of his mind.

I patted Kanya's knee slowly and held out the mineral water in the tumbler. As much as possible to maintain the tip of my lips to keep smiling. Though in a turbulent heart resisted the jealousy I was unable to control.

"Drink first let it calm down. If the mind is again chaotic, sometimes what we do is not as expected," I said wise pretentious to get power from nowhere.

The woman smiled back and accepted the tumbler I had stretched out.

"Thank you, Mas" he said after drinking water from my tumbler. Kanya's face was no longer as tense as before.

"Sori if I'm pretentious, but there are times when we have to dare to face reality even though it hurts, Nya," I said again although not sure about the problems Kanya is facing. I was just being pretentious and figuring out what was really going on. "There's no harm in taking a risk?"

"What does Mas Aldo think?"

I reflexively pinched Kanya's cheek in a fit of rage as I called out to her as Aldo. How could he be so fond of teasing me by constantly calling me Aldo? I had to make a calculation with Hanung for leaking that shameful thing to Kanya. Just look, he was so satisfied to laugh despite complaining of the pain from my pinches on his cheeks.

"Oh, it hurts."

"Wild, wrong himself still call me Aldo. My name is Araz, Kanya. If you think Alcatraz is too creepy."

Instead of being deterred, Kanya laughed in response to my statement.

"Sori Mas, sometimes the brain likes to be stupid if it has become a habit," his god increasingly makes me anxious and want to pinch it once again. But he immediately dodged before my hand touched his cheek. "I called a friend first, Mas" he said before moving away.

I smiled cynically. Call a friend, huh? Obviously I know who the friend Kanya meant. Who else if not the Son. If it was anyone else, I'm sure Kanya wouldn't have stayed away. How secretive were they talking until I couldn't hear them? Even so, I could vaguely guess their conversation through Kanya's vaguely-sounding words.

"And we are too cowardly to go against a current that is too swift. Just let me or you drown..."

I can no longer listen to their conversation. My heart aches even more if I keep wondering what they are talking about to make the look of Kanya's face so serious. I wasn't even interested in getting Kanya to talk after she ended her call.

Even during the trip there was nothing we talked about. I was suddenly mute when I realized that Kanya was still living in her past world. Not yet his future. And I felt more and more excluded, because I was never in the world that Kanya built.

***

It was getting dark when I opened my eyes. Just as my gaze rang and displayed Hanung's name on the screen. A little lazy I shifted the green button. Greeting Hanung with a hoarse voice due to just waking up.

"What's up, Bro?"

"Masakin dong dinner. I'm at the door of your apartment."

"What's? Are you kidding me?"

"There is no drama. Cepet open the door."

I was half conscious I was out of bed. Opening the door for my friend who was often a prankster by suddenly appearing at the door.

Sure enough, Hanung was already standing with a face as bright as the morning sun. Next to the man, stood a four-year-old boy who inherited 90 percent of his face. Even almost half of his nature also declined from Hanung.

Just look, he was so eloquent in asking questions that his father had clearly taught him. But I could not reply with a punch or pinch, considering how adorable the figure of the three-year-old boy was. It's not very annoying.

While the father just laughed broadly in response to his son's question to me. Feel great because it has taught extraordinary praise.

"Hemm, Abi, if you teach me tomorrow again to ask me like that, don't want to. Later Abi is said to be a bad boy, " I said while squatting in front of the door to align with Hanung's child. My father still hasn't stopped laughing.

"It's okay Om. Abi wants to doain if dating Om Ayaz with Aunt Anya behasil. So Abi asked Om Ayaz."

"Pinter is also a boy. You teach me what the hell is your son, Nyet?"

"Not taught me anything. Ah, come in yuk. Your guest is standing in front of a mulu door."

"Salah herself so the guest has no courtesy," I said as I opened the door wider so that Abi and her father could enter. While I closed the door, Hanung put her luggage in the kitchen and prepared cooking utensils. While Abi has been struggling in front of the TV and looking for a cartoon channel. He was used to turning on his own TV. "Seriously you're here to eat?"

"hey are. I bought it, Madame. Masakin capcay for us yes."

"Gue just got home, Nyet. Dateng-dateng ngerepotin aja lo," I said while taking over the kitchen from Hanung. Leaving the man for five minutes longer, I was sure that I could make my neat kitchen a mess.

I have been cooking since I lived alone. What else is far from the parents. Who can I count on if not myself? It also saves on expenses. Knowing the taste of my cooking without a doubt, Hanung often comes to the apartment and forces me to cook food for him whenever the opportunity arises. Because, he is the worst when it comes to kitchen affairs.

"Tumben lo here bring Abi as well. Where is Sinta going?"

"It's weird that Sinta came with me here. Again his duty. International flight."

"Oh..."

I just responded to Hanung's words. Hanung's wife, Sinta, works as a pilot on a government-owned airline. Not an ordinary profession possible for women, but that does not mean there are no women who wrestle. Sinta is one of them. Sometimes high flying hours make the woman must be willing to leave her child and husband to fulfill the obligation to take passengers to safety until the destination.

But sometimes I feel sorry for Abi. She was often left alone with her babysitter and grandparents when Hanung and Sinta left for work. Sometimes that's what makes Abi independent compared to children his age.

"So how about Kanya? It's all the way to the western end of East Java, time no change?"

While preparing the ingredients and cutting the vegetables, I told Hanung about the male figure who was still in the memory box of Kanya. My best friend was just listening while occasionally snacking on cassava chips that I had bought before returning from Tuban. Until I end my passionate story.

"Lo jealous?" hanung's response in the end. A mocking smile was clearly imprinted on his face.

"Yes according to you?"

"Rasain lo now. You used to despise me for being jealous of Sinta, well this you even the same ex-boyfriend." Hanung laughed in satisfaction in responding to my complaint. Disappointed I threw a piece of carrot at the man. "But I think it could be an opportunity for you, Raz."

"How'd it go? He just looks like dead love to the Son."

"That's why he chose to leave the Son, right? That means he wants to rearrange his life without Son Kali Raz. Chance for you'll be able to heal Kanya's wounds."

"According to you?"

"That's it."

I pondered over Hanung's speech while boiling the vegetables capcay requested the man. Too many questions crammed into my head about Kanya.

Is it true what Hanung said about Kanya? Is it true that there is still a chance to stay in the heart of Kanya who is still contracted by Putra? It does not matter if only the contract can end according to the agreement. So what if Kanya's heart is like a house certificate that has been in the name of the Son? Do I still have a chance? Thinking about it made my heart ache again.

It sucks, no, once in love I've been confronted by something weird.