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Which is Not Easy to Let go

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Since the last time Kanya called Putra, the man had not heard from the woman. Except for a message from his father who reported that his younger brother was born safely and the condition of Sukma – mama he continued – is still unconscious after a long operation. His father also said, if Kanya gave the name to the tiny baby. Victor Manzo Angkara's.

The son smiled as he read a message from his father regarding the name Kanya gave him. Out of nowhere the woman got a name for their sister, but Putra was grateful. At least the woman had defeated her ego in order to accept the presence of a petite figure in their family.

Especially when Eka told the Son, if the woman was willing to call him Father. The Son's smile grew. She was truly relieved, Kanya was already willing to accept the part of the wound in her life.

Even so, still the Son felt empty, because he still had not heard the news directly from Kanya. Even the message sent to the woman has not received a reply so far.

The son never felt this unsettling. In the past, while still dating Kanya, it did not matter to her if the woman did not return the message. If it was Kanya doing, there would indeed be important things that could not be left behind. Although in the end, these small actions often trigger quarrels between them.

Every now and then, the Son peeked at his screen as he blinked. However, it was again not a message from Kanya that appeared as a notification. If not from a group, it must be a social media notification that tells if there are new followers or maybe someone who marks his account. Arlan who sat on the sofa even got distracted by the activities of the Son who repeatedly checked the screen of the device.

"Wait for a chat from who?"

"His," answered the brief Son without turning away from the screen. The actions of the Son made Arlan who accompanied him tonight anxious and threw a sofa cushion beside him.

"Yes, maybe he's busy looking after, Aunt Sukma."

“Yes that's why, I want to know how he is.”

"Well, don't want to know the news of his mother, even want to know the news, Anya. It's so weird!"

"Yes I sent a chat from earlier he had no reply, Nyet. I'm worried."

"This is an exaggeration of your attitude, Nyet. Not generally the attitude of a brother. You don't baper anymore with Kanya, ‘kan?" arlan asked to surprise the Son. Arlan looked back at him sharply.

"Yes not. I'm crazy to baper with my own sister."

"Ralat, step-sister who was once an ex-girlfriend. It could happen again, man. Feelings cannot be regulated. Who knows, after you feel better, feel comfortable, feel you have gone through difficult moments, smile together, your feelings waver again. Not sincere as a big brother, but an ex-girlfriend who still works wonders."

"Nhd!" said Putra firmly while throwing the sofa cushion that Arlan had used to hit him.

"Be careful with my advice. In fact, after breaking up with Anya, you never get close even to dating anyone. Still want to deny if you don't expect a miracle?"

The son did not answer Arlan's question. The man actually pretended to correct the location of the pillow that suddenly made him feel uncomfortable. Two days in the hospital bored him. Fortunately, he was allowed to go home tomorrow. And the Son will truly go home in the true sense.

Arlan had already prepared the flight tickets to save time. He insisted that he wanted to go home by train. It feels longing to enjoy the journey while listening to the roar of the train wheels grinding the rails.

However, keyboardist Nada Sumbang and his close friend, rejected his request firmly. Another reason is certainly because currently they are public figures whose names are on the rise. How to freely travel like a train without inviting the attention of many people.

"Yet, I asked. I didn't expect this to actually happen, but I was curious," Arlan said, not letting Putra wander off her unanswered questions.

"Hmmm ... ."

"If only, if ... Aunt Sukma does not exist ... ."

"Crazy, about dong lo by the way!" The surprised son heard Arlan's supposition, reflexively throwing a pillow behind his head.

"Okay, sick, Monkey! About also dong threw it. Sick knows!"

"Yes lo too, by the way do not use morality. Just come on."

"Yes ‘kan if only, Nyet. How about it, I continue? "

"Hmmm .... ."

Although the Son did not want to think about Arlan's supposition, but he also wondered what his friend thought.

"If if Aunt Sukma does not exist, you have no intention to push Kanya to reverse?"

"Crazy! Yes, it is impossible. Taken together, we're tied to half-brother status."

"So why? You're just stepbrothers. Not a sibling. Even if you are still dating and even married, it does not matter. Yes maybe, our environment alone considers things like that something taboo."

"I don't think I'm doing that either, Lan. My feelings are just as much as a sister's today."

"Remain sure, why not?"

"Gue hesitated, maybe you've really sincerely considered him as a brother who wants to take care of, as you once said."

Pensive son. He had no intention of answering Arlan's statement. The man realized one thing when he heard Arlan's words. That he, has not been able to completely give up Kanya who is now his half-sister. However, is it possible that Arlan could understand his condition? The son never knew. So he chose silence.

...***...

Mahameru's Son

Thanks for taking care of Kanya for me, Bang. If it was you, I could really be willing to take off Kanya. Sori, I can't deny that I still hold feelings of affection for Kanya. But from this second on, I will truly let Kanya go. I know, he deserves to be happy. And it's just with you, Bang. Sori's.

Putra's screen still flashing opened his chat room with Araz. After not getting an answer from Kanya, the man finally decided to send a message to Araz. However, the truth is that he is sending an unreasonable message to Kanya's lover.

The man curses his innocence shortly after sending Araz a message. Midnight. And it was not something that his common sense could accept after he reread the message that had been sent.

Many times the Son cursed himself. It's free even if he pulls a message or makes a clarification. Araz read the message he sent. Even the man had no intention of replying to her even though the notification status indicated that she was online.

"****, let's try to tell Araz if I .. arghh .. surely now he thinks that I'm not sincerely accepting Kanya as a brother. Surely he thinks that I love Kanya as a woman who has been an ex-boyfriend.*** anyway lo, Put. I'm not gonna do it with Araz either."

The son was still frenetic considering how foolish he was to clearly say that he still harbored feelings for Kanya. He himself did not know for sure what made him confess to Araz if he still harbored feelings of affection for Kanya. Not as a brother, but as a woman he had loved. In fact, the Son always desperately hid that fact from Arlan or other members of Nada Sumbang. Even from Kanya.

However, she easily confesses to Araz if. Again, the written statement continues to loom in the mind of the Son with bold, underline and even italic signs at once. Not enough, it felt like all the sentences were printed with capital letters. Dancing wildly in the brain of the Son who suddenly felt tired.

For the sake of self-esteem that has been torn apart, Putra decided to make a clarification on Araz. Whether the man will accept it or not. The son doesn't care. He just wants to admit to someone if there is actually still more affection for Kanya.

Just imagine, eight years is not an easy time to forget the feelings that have grown and are firmly rooted. If that person is Araz, Putra just hopes that it is the right man to be next to Kanya. So that he would let go of his feelings for both of them.

Mahameru's Son

Sora, Bang. I didn't mean anything by saying this. I'm just grateful you found each other. And, I'm more and more convinced that you can strengthen each other.

Anyway I saw how desperate Kanya was when you disappeared all of a sudden. In the past, he never worried about it when I accidentally disappeared. I know, you guys are sincere in love with each other. Then I will stand by my role as the sister who supports you.

Lies. The son wasn't really willing to say that to Araz. If he can be selfish, he wants to fight for Kanya from the start. However, his pretext while hiding behind a shield the term "to serve the elderly" has hindered everything. He became a coward who did not dare to fight for Kanya. He becomes a loser who denies his own feelings.

If the conversation with Arlan about the supposition about Sukma did not occur tonight, the Son would continue to deny his own feelings if deep down, he still wanted Kanya. Entirely.

Moreover ... ahh .. if only the fatal mistake had never happened in the past, perhaps the Son would have truly sincerely let go of Kanya. However, events in the past could never be fixed. For this reason, the Son is getting heavier releasing Kanya.

Even if when Putra tries to improve her relationship with Kanya and the woman is willing to accept back her feelings, the Son will definitely struggle more this time. Including asking Eka to release Sukma for them. That's not all happening. Either the Son should be grateful or sorry, but clearly, the feelings for Kanya have still not changed.

Mahameru's Son

Give my regards to Kanya, Bang. I'm going home tomorrow.

Putra in her chat room with Araz, who, though read, was not reciprocated.

The man thinks that Araz must be shocked to read his confession about Kanya. However, the Son also did not want to lie any longer to himself. It doesn't matter if after this Araz will consider him a rival, but one thing is for sure, he sincerely wishes Kanya a happy time with Araz.

The son grabbed a device that had been placed on the nightstand. Then open his chat room with Kanya. There are still no signs if the message has been read. The last time it was seen was at 23:00.

The man took a long breath. For some reason, he again felt so far away with Kanya. Even if he knows, if the woman must be busy taking care of Sukma.

Mahameru's Son

I'm coming home today. Please, if you meet later, smile no matter how you feel my lil sis. You should smile a lot until the sun is envious when you see you. And trust me that everything will be fine.

The son restored his hair after sending a message to Kanya. It felt strange to say that line to Kanya - as an older sister. Whereas what the Son wants is .. confession more than a brother. Like old times.

The man once again, took a deep breath. By dawn the messages sent to Araz and Kanya were still unrequited. The son smiled wryly. He decided to sleep even though it was difficult to close his eyes. While at 10 he had to fly to make sure if everything was okay.

"Wait for me to come home, Kanya!"