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Unilateral Decisions

Renjana Kanya's

A different ringtone among the other calls stopped my kiss with Araz. I know exactly who the caller is. I know the habits of that woman. He won't call if nothing really matters. Even after all these years of my departure from home, the woman just texted me every time she asked me for news or asked me to come home, which seemed insincere. Hence, I could always avoid because he never really asked me to go home. So why do I have to fulfill his request which was only sent via a short message? And now, what important news made him want to press a series of numbers for the sake of making a call?

"Hello," I said lazily as I moved away from Alcatraz. I don't want him to see how messed up I'm with ... Mamma.

However, it was not the woman's voice that was heard from across the phone. The familiar man greeted with his distinctive voice. Om Eka's. His voice trembled as he asked how I was doing. And asked if I could meet the Son. For from yesterday he tried to contact the Son, but there was no response from his son.

"Wouldn't have met Son, Om."

I had to lie. My son asked me not to tell his father if he was hurt by Vika's father. However, Putra did not want the angry man to receive more fatal consequences if Om Eka to know the news about this event.

I know very well what Om Eka is if it is the Son's thing. Let alone make the child battered, injuring the tip of the nail will be the length of his business. Like his second ex-wife who must be willing to languish behind bars due to violence against the Son to make him endure trauma long enough. It still often recurs until now.

"Alright, later ... Papa tried to call your brother again, but Kanya ... " The Word of Om Eka paused. Pretty long. Sometimes he takes a long breath.

"Is there something going on, Om?" I suppress the ego. For some reason, my feelings suddenly felt bad and kept thinking about the woman. Moreover, Om Eka did not also answer my question.

"Can you go home today, huh?" ask Om Eka at the end.

"Come home?"

"Yes, Son. Go home today."

"Why should I go home? Um, did something really happen?"

Silent. There's no sound. Om Eka chose to be silent and did not answer my question again.

"Mama, is she ... okay?" The question also came from my mouth.

Om Eka let out a long sigh before finally saying, "Your mother, entered the hospital this morning."

"What's going on?" ask me when Om Eka does not also continue the story.

"The conditions are pretty bad." Om Eka paused his sentence again. Again he was silent for quite a while before a soft sobbing sound could be heard from across. The man was crying.

"Om, please tell me, what really happened?"

Again the silence enveloped us. The sobbing of Om Eka also has not subsided. It's getting better. I can imagine the man crying as much as he did somewhere in the hospital where Mama was hospitalized.

"Om, please, tell me what really happened."

Om Eka opened his voice, "Your mom fell down and .. the content was quite severe. We have consulted the doctor. Your baby should be operated on if his condition does not improve. But doing so is also quite risky. Doctors can't save both of them in case of the worst. We have to decide, the baby or the mother has to be saved."

My tongue. No words came out of my mouth to respond to Om Eka's story. I already know the outline of the problem. And I know what makes Om Eka heavy for storytelling. The woman must have chosen to save her baby rather than her own safety. That woman must not have thought about how I would be, if the decision was really taken without involving me. I'm his son too. I ... Even if I finally choose to leave, does the woman not think about me a little bit?

Ah, goddamn. My tears flowed without me preventing it. Before things get worse, I need to make sure something goes first to Om Eka.

"And Mama chose to save her baby rather than her own life?"

"Yes, for that, Om beg Kanya, go home. Persuade your Mama. Om can't even afford to lose him, Him. Om asked her to deliver our baby, but Mama you insisted on saving her. But how could Om live without him, Kanya. Om ... "

"Om, I'm sorry. My mother made that decision without involving me. Without thinking about my feelings. How could Om ask me to come home just to persuade him not to do that reckless act? I'm sorry, Om."

Om Eka's explanation makes me feel unwanted. That woman really no longer wanted me to make the decision to save the baby. Even a decision as important as that, he doesn't need my opinion. Heh, then what am I expecting? Didn't I decide to leave the house? But didn't the woman think a little of my feelings? Am I not his son too? After making me part with the Son, then now he decides to just leave? Even gone who can't possibly come back. How fair would it be to end up like this?

"See, please please, son. Go home. Your mother didn't think of you."

"If he thinks of me, he should ask my opinion before deciding what action to take, Om. Not even sending a message. Is this what Om said thinking about how I feel?"

"Son, Om knows your feelings of disappointment in us have not been cured. We admit wrong. But anyway, your mother gave birth to you. Your mother, without missing a day to always pray for you. So consider this the last chance to fix everything. I'm sure your mom will change her mind if she sees you, son."

The tears were getting more and more wet my cheeks. My body trembles. The word Om Eka tore down the thick wall that had been encircling my heart. However, there is still an ego that I have not been able to suppress. There's still a stubborn attitude I can't tame.

"Thank you for telling Kanya about Mama, Om. Sorry, Kanya can't promise to go home or not" I said before hanging up the phone call and hunting down Araz. I cried in the arms of the man.

There was pain I could not express in words other than through crying. Silently, Araz just patted my back. Gave me pause to spill everything with just a cry. Before the end, my fortress completely collapsed. All the resentment, disappointment, and longing that I had secretly turned into a grudge.

"Let's go home, Hes. I'll drive you."

And for the first time, the call home was like the sound of a loud clapper, but also a relief at the same time.