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Right now, I'm in the therapy room. This is my second day of therapy. I was accompanied by a nurse. I don't seem to need to do it again tomorrow because I can already walk on my own despite being a little restrained. I'm so glad I can walk now.

After the Star confessed her feelings in front of my parents and my parents, she did not come to my room again when the time was empty. He came when his schedule was to check my condition because he was the doctor who handled me.

But he still talks to my parents. But they only talk about my condition. He doesn't take care of me at night. See it? He seems to want to play games. How could I give my life to him? Nothing made me drop my intention to reject him.

After the therapy, I returned to my room accompanied by a nurse. I told my parents to rest at my rented house. My dad had an ulcer and last night his ulcer relapsed. Be, my mom takes care of my dad. I can walk too. I don't need to be guarded anymore. They must have been tired of taking care of me all this time.

Not long after, I heard my room being knocked. Apparently, office friends came to visit me. There are Mba Sarah, Tari, Rizki, Ina, and Wanti. They also work as Content Writers and Mba Sarah is my supervisor. I'm so glad to see them back.

“How are you doing? Do you feel healthy?”ask Mba Sarah.

“Alhamdulillah has Mba. Soon I can go home too, I replied.

“We are very worried about Mba when you hear an accident and coma. Thank God, Mba now looks healthier,”ucap Tari, my junior in the company.

“Kok on can get out? Not yet home,”tanyaku.

“It is now a break. Excuse me late to Mr. Jono for half an hour. Ask permission to cool you down,”Answer Mba Sarah.

“Keep Pak Jono give permission?”I just don't believe it.

“Kan elu beloved son. Mr. Jono sends his greetings to you too,” replied Rizki.

“Helcome from Hongkong? I was even scolded. Where is his favorite?”reply sewot.

“Eh, Ra. Where are your parents?”ask Ina.

“In the rented house. My dad's sick again. Maagnya. So, I told you to take a break,”I replied. “Eh, this just take the fruit,”my.

“Itya times we eat souvenirs by ourselves, Ra,”balas Wanti.

“Ya is not that one. Kan at the table there is also fruit,”balakuku back.

Wanti, Ina, and Rizki walked towards the sofa and sat there. Meanwhile, Mba Sarah and Tari were sitting next to me.

“Eh, Which Star Doctor?”ask Ina.

“Iya yes. Tumben no look,”timpal Dance.

I looked at them in astonishment. “You know him?”my many.

“Know. Every time he cools you, he'll be here. Mau afternoon, want evening,”answered Mba Sarah.

“Seru yes if you have a doctor boyfriend like Mba Rara. He can know what our disease is and take care of it,”ucap Tari.

I wanted to dodge it, but Rizki had already chimed in.

“My same date is also exciting, Tar.”

“Ogah,”bala Dance.

Rizki still hasn't given up and continues to tease Tari. I laughed at the manner of the two of them. This dance is her innocent son, while Rizki is a fuckboy type. She always teases Dance whenever she has the chance. I pray that they will truly be a couple.

We were chatting about the latest rumors in the office. Whenever there's free time, we'll gossip. The soul of the reporter in my division is very strong. The information provided must be accurate and rarely darted. However, among all of us, Wanti is the most updated office slowdown to artist. If you need information about someone in the office, just ask them.

It's 13:10, they have to go back to the office. If it's too late, Mr. Jono can fight the same vein later. Before they parted, they prayed that I would get well and return to the office. And my room became quiet again. I lay my body on the bed and rest.

*****

It doesn't feel like it's night. It's 8 p.m. I watched the funny Running Man compilation videos on Youtube. Running Man is my favorite Korean variety show. I never missed a single episode before the accident.

While watching, a Video Call from May appeared on my phone screen. I accepted it enthusiastically too. May and Ami already know I'm conscious. My parents told them about the accident. Every day, they asked my mother about my situation. Once I realized, they always sent me messages. I am so grateful to have them as my friends.

May:

Oi... What the hell are you doing again?

Me:

Watching youtube again. What're you?

May:

Just got home from work. How are you doing?

Me:

Healthy May. You asked me this afternoon too.

May:

Who knows tonight you're not feeling well, Ra. Try Vcall Ami.

I tried calling Ami. Not long after, he accepted it.

Amy:

Hi hi guyss. Ra, how are you?

Me:

You are the same as May. Healthy, Mi. How'd you? How's my ponakanuu?

Amy:

Healthy Aunty. I was kicked-up.

Me:

Yeayy will meet Aunty soon.

May:

Next month, Mi?

Ami:

Yes, Insha Allah. How are you preparing?

May:

Dizziness me. Many times it has to be cleaned. The food, the stage, the color of the stage. Dizziness me. I told my mama who took care.

Me:

You're bad. When you asked a ngurusin aunt.

May:

I don't think about it anymore, Ra. I'm busy here too. Look if you want to get married later. Must be dizzy for you. Sure me.

Me:

Won't do.

Ami:

Don't be so stupid won't bother you. I'm just dizzy first.

Me:

Just look at it later.

Ami:

Ra, I heard that doctor you're good at, huh? Pacarin, yes, Ra.

Me:

You know where you're from?

Ami and May:

Your mama.

“Jeez Mamaaaa. Kayak gini period also reported”ucapku in the heart.

May:

Yes, it's gebet, Ra. You will not be alone at my wedding.

Me:

Your shucks.

Ami:

Still single, right?

Me:

Don't know. Never talk about.

Ami and May:

Masaa?

Me:

Yesaaa.

I heard my room being knocked. A resident doctor came to see me. He must have wanted to check on me. See it? Not the stars coming. He must have avoided.

Me:

I closed yes. The doctor came to check. Byeeeeeee.

I hung up my phone before I heard anything from Ami and May. Ah most of them discuss it again in WhatsApp group.

*****

It's 10 in the night and I still can't close my eyes. I tried it an hour ago, but I just couldn't. I probably took too many naps.

I lifted the chair beside my bed to the window of the hospital. I opened the curtain. I want to see the beauty of the sky tonight. I missed it last night. The streets are filled with vehicle lights and street lights. Still crowded. However, those lights made the streets look beautiful from here. The roads are wet, but not stagnant. It was raining tonight, but not. Right now, there are still raindrops.

Then I looked at the sky. Black and cloudy. There are no stars and no moon. Only dark. I closed my eyes and whispered the words of love, then opened them. There's nothing. I don't see stars. Of course I can't see it because it's raining like this. I'm a little disappointed. However, I knew he must have missed me, just like I missed him. Can I tell her about the incident? What reaction?

Turning to my own mind, I didn't realize someone was beside me. It had been 5 minutes he was standing there, but had no intention of greeting me. He looked at the street from this window.

“Can't sleep?”tanyakanya.

I screamed a little surprised to hear it. I didn't know anyone was next to me. I was too busy with my thoughts.

“Regular aja. Don't be surprised,”more.

“Where is it not surprising? Suddenly someone was surprised,”balasku.

“I knocked on the door, but there was no confirmation. Yes I just came in.”

“Yes where to hear if it's slow,”balasku ketus.

He didn't repay me. He walked towards one of the chairs that was in the corner of this room. Then, he took it and placed it next to me. He also sat there.

“Who helped you move seats here?”tanyakanya. He turned his body to the side to face me.

“Moving yourself,”answere. I still focus my eyes on the streets.

“The therapy seems to work,”reply.

“Very successful,”balasku.

He was silent, then lowered his head.

“Ai... I'm sorry.” He lifted his head and looked at me who was still ignoring him. Why am I ignoring it too? I should have asked for an explanation.

I turned my body to face him. “Which apologies, nih?”my many.

“Loh, did I make a lot wrong?”askalanya. His face was made as clean as possible.

I held my growl. “That never felt wrong?”I just don't want to lose.

“Ngak,”answered.

“Keep why apologize?”

“Because I couldn't take care of you last night and also visited you this afternoon. I had a lot of operations from last night. The operation was also impromptu,”he explained.

“OK. I also don't need to be guarded. I can already walk,”balasku.

“So, are we good now?”tanyakanya. Smile on his masculine face.

“What? Do we have a good relationship?”my many. I never considered having a good relationship with him. Bad relationship, yes.

The star frowned and brought his chair closer to me. Uh, why is he so close?

“Moreover what is wrong?”tanyakanya.

“You have not apologized about the incident two days ago,”I replied. I avoided her gaze because of why I suddenly felt embarrassed.

“What am I sorry for? I don't consider it a mistake,”reply. She spoke in a normal, soft voice, but it made my hands cold. Well, what's wrong with me?

I ventured to look into his eyes. I want to show you that I am serious about what I am saying. “But I consider it a mistake.”

He looked back into my eyes. “I seriously want to marry you. Where is the error? I am a man, you are a woman. We are both adults. We also have the same trust,”reply. He raised his eyebrows demanding my answer when I said nothing.

“I don't know you. You don't know me either. You didn't even tell me that you told my parents about the accident.” I vented it all on him. My voice still sounded unfriendly and slightly raised.

“If the problem of introduction, we can do it slowly. I also do not ask to get married tomorrow, Ai,”he replied. A sound of rustling came out of his mouth. His face was also more friendly. She smiled a little.

“But, faster is better,”next with a smile. He's still looking at me.

I'm sure my face is red now. I may not have been close to men for too long, so I often get this wrong. In fact, I have often heard such sentences in Korean dramas that I often watch. Being heard in person was enough to make my stomach seem full of butterflies.

I tried to normalize my face again. “Keep if it doesn't fit?”my many.

“Ya try to continue until it fits,”he replied.

“Indeed rubbing with gifts. Ishh.”

He was silent for a moment, then looked me in the eye. I was also shocked and looked into his eyes.

“Will not match. Do you think anything makes a man and a woman fit? What makes it suitable is to understand each other and be honest. Discuss and make plans together, then tell honestly what is bugging him and make him happy. That's what makes the pair fit.”

He still looked into my eyes after saying those words. I straightened my body and cleared my head.

“You have a point. Have you been honest all this time? I have only known you for 4 days, you already have many secrets,”balapku.

Stars laugh. He rolled his shirt hand up to the elbow. Then, he straightened his body again. He looks cooler when he does that. I really like the guy who rolls his shirt hands until he likes. Am I going to falter?

“OK. What do you want? Ask everyone, I will answer. Honestly,”he said. Then, he brought his chair closer to me. Again.

“You know where my father's mobile number is?”my many.

“From your phone. Your phone is not privatized. I called him right away after the doctor treated you. I contacted your father rather than your mother because I was afraid to shock your mother. Does it help enough?”

I nodded my head. “OK next. You also contacted my office.”

“Not me but mama. I informed you of the accident and asked for help to contact your supervisor. Your supervisor and other friends have visited you several times. He asked to be contacted immediately if you are aware,” he replied.

I patted my hand because I remembered something. “Ah Yes. Why do you want to take care of me? The doctor who handled me wasn't you at first,”tanyaku.

“No need to applaud too, Ai,” he said while laughing at my strange behavior. My habit is remembering something.

“Because in my opinion, it's God's way of answering my question. From then on I knew I had to spend my life with this guy, with you.

I'm getting interested in this conversation. I had to get rid of my embarrassment and the red hues on my face. I need to know everything.

“What's your question?”my many.

“Decret,”answort.

“Kaaaan. I said what too. Where do you want to tell everything. Aissh,”balasku. When I was already wearing the Medan accent, then my frustration level was already at the threshold. My face must be like Angry bird by now.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry. Relax dong you. Don't worry,”reply with Medan accent as well.

“Well you started first. You like fishing anyway let me be pissed.”

“Soalya your cheeks so bloated, keep your face so red,”replynya accompanied by stiffness.

A moment later, he turned his body towards the window and looked at the silent road. The rain is still falling. I watched his face from the side. He's actually very handsome. Anyone who sees it will love it. There was no flaw at all on that face. A sharp nose, large eyes, thick eyebrows, and long eyelashes. His face is very masculine. There was a slight thin beard on his chin. Oh yes, his chin is also split making his good looks perfect. I'm sure she can be a model or an artist if she wants to. He can also marry any woman if he wants to. Why would she want to marry me?

“You know when we first met?”tanyakanya. He still looks at the streets.

“Umm the day before my accident, in your home,”I replied.

“You may be yes, but I am not,”reply.

“Hah? Keep when?”

He turned his body to face me, then smiled. “One year ago on the bridge crossing your dean office. The tenth day of Ramadan in the evening.”

I frowned and recalled the events of last year in Ramadan. I never met a man in Ramadan. He's wrong people like him.

“Kok can? I don't remember. You're the wrong guy like,”balasku.

“You are not reported?”ask her with the look on the face of sewot because I cut the story earlier.

“OK. Please,”balasku while making hand gestures.

He laughed for a while, then continued his story. “That time, I was jogging.”

“Jogging is night-night?” I cut the story again.

She squinted her eyes at a sign she didn't like me interrupting her story.

“Sorry,”ucapku ogre.

He continued his story again. “I want to enjoy the night breeze Depok, then ride the crossing bridge in front of your office. You were there when it was 9. I think you're brave enough out there alone. Then, I stood not far beside you. I enjoyed the view of the streets of Depok and the wind gusts of my hair. Then, I suddenly heard the sound of cursing. You're cursing.”

“When do I snub? I am not yelling yes.” I defended myself. My voice became high because I felt slandered.

The stars laughed, then continued. “But you are cursing again, Ai. I still remember the person who pissed you off.”

“Who?”my challenge.

“Pak Jono's. Your boss isn't?”

Checkmate. It's fact. Mr. Jono is YesDoctor's manager and he often calls me ‘Air’. I often argue with him.

“But how to curse you funny. Instead of cursing with bad words, you curse with words of praise. Mr. Jono I know the father is handsome and smart. My wife is also beautiful. My son is funny too. But the father will shine even more like a street lamp if the father is good with me. I know I am a rakjel and Mr is the Sultan. You cursed him like that. I immediately laughed and tried to see the expression on your face at that time.” He laughed again, recalling the incident.

I've remembered. Mr. Jono always thought my job was not good and always gave me fieldwork, such as doing interviews with doctors. I can interview 3 doctors in a day. Sarah said that because Mr. Jono likes my performance and believes in me. But it still pisses me off. Until now, Mr. Jono still often pisses me off.

“You didn't know my suffering back then. I even had to sheet 3 days in a row. Other people taraweh, I even overtime,”ucapku. Remembering that incident back made me angry.

The star stopped his laughter. “Can be seen from the way you swore it. Your hands clenched and pinned him to the edge of the bridge,”more.

“Continue? What made God answer your question?”my many.

The stars stared into my eyes for a long time. “At that time I prayed to be given happiness to you and asked to see you again. Though I don't know who you were then,” he replied.

I'm speechless. This guy can always keep me quiet with his answers. I felt the water begin to pool in my eyes. I'm moved. He just wanted to enjoy the atmosphere of Depok night and ended up praying for my happiness. I was moved that someone prayed for me secretly when that person was nobody.

“Why pray for me?”tanyaku.

“Because you made me smile. Then God answered my prayer. I met you again at home. My mom actually told me a lot about you. I don't know the Aira that you mean is the Aira that I saw on the bridge crossing last year. Again, I unconsciously prayed to meet you. This time God answered my prayer faster.”

The star stopped the story. He looked at me, saw how I reacted. Then he went back on.

“I want to enjoy the streets of Depok from the crossing bridge in front of your office. I saw you there the night before the accident. I wanted to say hello, but you were crying. I wondered what made you cry at that moment, but I could only look at you. In my heart I asked God. Can I share my life with this woman? I want to live with this woman and hear all her complaints. Again, God answered quickly. I saw you in the ER. You're full of blood. I panicked a lot. I realized, maybe this is God's way of answering my question. Has my story answered your curiosity, Ai?” He finished his story.

I don't know what to respond to. I just fell silent and moved. I didn't even dare to cut the story. I didn't expect this man to always ask God for guidance when it came to me. Is there anything more romantic than this story?

“I don't know what to say,”I replied.

He smiled and stood up from his chair. He walked towards my chair. Then, he stroked my hair lightly. He looked into my eyes looking at him too. “You must be surprised. I've understood. The important thing is you know I'm not messing around.” He turned his eyes to the streets.

“Now, may I ask?”tanyakanya. He turned his body that had been facing the street towards me.

“Please,”answort.

“Who's Son?”tanyakanya.

Deg. I was surprised to hear his question. Why would he know? I never told anyone about the Son.

“At first I didn't want to ask about it to you, but it made me unable to sleep well.”

“You know where the name is?”my many. My tone of voice may sound soft and vibrating. I forgot about it throughout our conversation.

The star raised its seat and placed it right next to me. “You often say his name when you are in a coma, but it is not clear. That night you say his name, and you cry. Last night was like that.”

“She... she's my best friend,”my answer. I'm squeezing my hand.

“Where is he now?”ask the stars again.

“Already died.” I answered it softly.

I squeezed my hand harder to hold back the tightness in my chest that had suddenly appeared. I bow my head.

“I’m sorry to hear that,”ucapnya.

The stars saw my behavior differently than usual. I can usually control my feelings and fight them back with confidence. But now, I'm like a kitten in need of protection. I can't tell you now. I'm not ready to share a story that even my parents and friends don't know.

I looked at his face and opened my mouth. The star suddenly cut me off. “Do not force. No need now. Tell me when you're ready. I can wait,”take it.

I looked at her face still staring at me. “Thank you,”ucapku. Suddenly, my tears flowed down my cheeks.

“Sorry,”continu. I immediately wiped my tears with my right hand.

He did not say, but his gaze had not yet escaped me. “I’m with you.” He grabbed my left hand and tied it to his right. “I’ll hold your hand like this,”next.

I took my breath and tried to stop my tears hard. Then, I tried to smile. “I’m okay now. Thanks,”ucapku.

The star pointed her hand at my hair and stroked her. “If you can’t accept the pain, you can’t heal, Ai. Accept, let, and heal. That's process. So, don't pretend to be tough. I told you, I want to hear all your complaints. I have no problem seeing your tears either. I'll help you.”

“Help what?”my many.

“Help you healed.”

“If it doesn't work?”

“We haven't tried.”

“You don't love me. Yes, right?”my many. I know she's interested in wanting to spend her life with me, but I also know there's no love there. He might just pity me or he just wants to protect me like a father or brother. Not so fast to fall in love.

“Not not, but not yet,”he replied.

My face turned unfriendly.

There were eyes of anger and disappointment there. I know he seems to be having a long heartache as well. I don't know if his heart has healed.

“But I try to love you,”next after seeing the look on my angry face.

“It won't work,”reply me while shaking my right hand.

His face turned cold. “We haven't tried it yet. What are you afraid of?”tanyakanya.

“I'm afraid it will work on one instead of both,”. I made my tone of voice as loud as possible.

The stars look at me cynically. “You fear me

who will fall in love with you and you won't?”tanyakanya. Then, he continued,

“Take it easy, Ai. I don't give up easily. I'll make sure we'll both fall in love.”

I exhale my tired breath. What time is it now? I felt like I wanted to lay down my body for using too much of my feelings today.

“Not you. L am. I'm afraid I'll fall in love and you won't,”.

“What makes you think like that?”tanyakanya.

I turned my eyes to the sky. I tried to calm my mind by looking at the vast sky. Help enough. The stars are waiting for my answer. I knew it because he didn't take his eyes off me.

“Because the universe really likes to joke with me. I'm healed and I might get hurt again, ” I replied.

“You love to make your own conclusions. Expect what will happen when you have not tried it, have not told it. The universe will support you if you try. It all depends on you. How you deal with the universe's plan depends on you. Whether to continue to grieve or learn. No one is an expert on life. Life is everyone's first experience. It's natural that you're not used to it, crying, grieving, and sick. That's because you have feelings.”He finished his story about life with a little smile on his lips. His face was no longer cold.

I answered nothing, but I was considering what he said. I may be too timid and pessimistic to try new things in my life. I had been so bad for so long in the past that when someone reached out his hand to me, I became doubtful. But what's wrong with trying?

“I've had a cool gini speech, at least a pat of the cake,”he said tried to divert me.

“Hehe,”balasku.

“Ah is not exciting,”reply and stand from her seat. “Now it's half twelve. Sleep time. I'm sorry to keep you up. Tomorrow we'll call again,”next.

He wanted to help me walk to the bed, but I refused. I want to walk alone so I can be better. Arriving in bed, he helped me fix the infusion so I was more comfortable. Then, he covers me. I rejected him, but he did not heed my words. Then, he picked up one of the chairs by the window and sat down next to me.

“What are you doing here? We went back to your room just fine,”to tell me.

“I will later sleep on the sofa.”

“Ya. There to the sofa,”balasku.

“Later after you sleep,”reply.

I don't reply to him anymore. I closed my eyes. If he's next to me, I know I won't be able to sleep. I don't like to be seen when I'm sleeping. However, for the sake of my exorbitant prestige, I let it go.

“Not you who will fall in love first, but I will fall in love first, Ai,”ucapnya. He's still beside me.

“Yes, it seems like it is,”my reply, but I did not open my eyes.

“So, you agree?”tanyakanya.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. “But without status. There are no boyfriends or potential husbands. I want a natural approach,”I replied.

“Deal,”return.

The star stood up from his chair. “Because I know you will not be able to sleep if I am still beside you, then I will move to the sofa even though I actually still want to be here.”

He looked at me for a moment and bit his lower lip. He seemed to want to do something, but hesitated a little. With lightning fast, he lowered his head and kissed my forehead. “Have a sweet dream. Good night.” Then, he walked to the sofa. Before I said anything, he cut me off.

“There must be a stamp to be valid,”ucapnya.

“Alesan,”balasku. He could still hear it and reply to it with ruckus.

In the end, I accepted it. Will it work or not? It all depends on both of us. If we give our maximum effort, the success will be high. Like her, I will try to make this relationship work. Hopefully I don't change my mind. How did Doctor Fani react when she found out I and Bintang wanted to try this relationship? In fact, I used to sympathize with his future son-in-law Doctor Fani.

Before I go to sleep I pray, give happiness to him too, Lord. Let me love him and let him love me. I.. I. also want to love someone again.