Go home

Reunions

It was a little cloudy today, but it didn't rain. The wind is pretty strong. My mother said if it's cloudy, but there's a strong wind, it won't rain. It has often failed his prediction because I often met with rain and strong winds at the same time.

As usual, nothing happened today. Heri is no longer bothering. The classmates who were approaching Ami never showed up again because I never returned their messages. I don't know if I'm being cruel for not responding to them, but, they won't be in Ami's future. Even Ami was dating other people during High School. The son is still like that. Always ambiguous. Aira is like that too. Always interfere. May is still like that. Close to the Son.

I may be wrong. Today the three of them are a little different. May suddenly became quiet. Aira who always felt ogah every see the Son and ready to want to explode. And the Son who looks ordinary like nothing happened. Don't-don't, Son told May everything and Aira knows? If I recall, this is similar to what happened in XI class. When the Son told May everything. My son also told me to stop setting them up because he likes other girls. At that time, I was also angry and May looked sad. This is in any way the situation that used to be. A month later Putra will have a new boyfriend, Anisa. Will it happen as before?

I wanted to ask Putra directly, but she scouts meeting from the first break until now. Soon to be home from school. It was hard to get her to talk today. I was very curious though. I also did not dare to ask directly to Aira and May. Afraid they suspect I know something. I know nothing either. Maybe Ami did advise not to tell everything to May first because this incident should not happen at this time.

It's time to go home and the son hasn't shown up yet. Maybe tomorrow I'll ask him. Aira, May, and Malik are not home yet. It was as if they were waiting for someone. I tidied up my books, put them in my bag. I've been carrying my backpack. The person I was waiting for showed up.

“Where are you going?” he asked while walking to his desk.

“Go home,”my answer.

“And we have group work,”reply.

“Company work?”

“Iya. Indonesian Language Task. Same group of Aira, May, and Malik,” he explained.

I had no idea there would be group work. What is the Indonesian language task? They must have made a promise before I became Ami. I sat back in my chair.

“You know where?” ask Aira ketus.

“There aja. On your desk,”andabut Putra.

I am really angry with the Son. I'll become sniffy when I'm angry and yelling.

I walked towards Aira's desk. We combined Aira and May's desks so we were more free to write and discuss. Aira remained seated in her chair, by the window. To the left of Aira is May. Next to May is Malik. The Son sits to the right of Aira and beside the Son is me. The atmosphere is not friendly. Waiting for who will explode first. Aira held back her emotions and Putra was also already sultry with Aira's ketus attitude.

For one hour making Indonesian drama script like being in a lecturer killer class. All wrong. Silence is wrong, by the way. Son and Aira always fight the veins from earlier and the Son who always succumbed. May is also silent and always agrees with Aira's opinion. Malik occasionally gave an opinion, but in a cautious tone. While I noticed myself who was holding back emotions and upset. I just realized I was scary too when holding back anger and upset. Everything went wrong. Not to be nudged in the slightest because it will be determined.

Finally finished the discussion. An hour of discussion is like a day. No longer do I believe that I have returned to the future. Sucks.

“Who wants to type the script?”ask Malik.

“Same son May,”Answer Aira.

I looked at Son, Aira, and May. The Son's ears are red. He's holding back emotions.

“I'm alone,”ucap Putra.

“Two years to be faster,”balas Aira.

“Neventless. Alone just so as not to bother,”tolak Putra while tidying up his book.

“You are home close. What's that bother?”reply Aira.

Gosh darn. I was stubborn once. The son looked at Aira sharply. I know he doesn't like Aira's current attitude. Honestly, I don't like it either. I shouldn't interfere too much with May and Son's problems.

“I am yes, Aira Putri,”ucap Putra trying to dampen his anger.

“Iya, justin Son, Ra,”ucapku to break up their encroachment. I knew I wouldn't stop until the Son said yes if no one broke up. Aira shut up and tidied up her book. May excuse me to go home first. My stubborn nature must have made May sad too. I made it look pathetic. I realize I was wrong too.

The son returned to his desk to put his books in a bag. Aira is out of class. He's going to the toilet. Malik also went to the school cooperative. I walk towards the Son's table.

“You're both not into the parking lot?”ask me to Putra.

“No motor,”answerp.

Well yeah. I wanted to ask you about May and Aira. “Tumben,”balasku.

“Involuntary. Let's go together,”balasnya.

“Whose way?”my many.

“Yang from earlier nahan emotions let's not get angry,” he replied.

Deg. That's Aira. That'sme. Just then, Aira returned from the toilet. Excuse me for going home first. I let the two of them there so they could explain their attitude today. The son also seemed to want to chat with Aira. Both. Only a quarter of the way, I just remembered the key of the motor I put in my desk drawer earlier. I went back to class too. Just up to the classroom door, I heard Aira speaking with anger and the Son also looked annoyed. I stopped and stood behind the door. They closed the door a little so that no one would hear it as possible.

“If you don't like it, why keep getting deleted? Why do you keep on giving hope?” That's Aira's voice.

“Ngot given hope. He asked for help yes I help, Ra,” replied the Son calmly.

“And you know May likes you. Why not say it from the beginning? He also wouldn't expect you to say from a long time ago,” reply Aira full of anger.

“And I told you not to mate I keep the same May. You keep a soul mate,”balas Putra.

“So wrong me because of your soul mate?”

“I told you I don't like it but you're still insistent too. I've been avoiding May, but you're close again.”

“That's because you think you're comfortable with him.”

“It looks like, right? Have you ever asked me if I was comfortable or not?”

Aira fell silent. The voice of the Son was not heard anymore.

“I told May the truth so she wouldn't hope anymore. Let him find another one,” said Putra.

The son did not answer.

“I heard you talking to Ami yesterday. You like other girls, right?”ask Aira again.

The son chuckled, then answered Aira's question. “Iya. I like other girls. I told you too.”

“Who?”asked Aira impatiently.

The son was silent again. For 1 minute there was no sound of Aira or Putra.

“Reclassic. But one day I will definitely tell you the same story, ” replied the Son.

“No need,”balasku.

“But I still want stories. Later but yes,”balas Son soft.

I didn't expect him to speak this softly. This is similar to what happened in Class XI. It was just that we were not both. There were other friends in the class. However, I vented my anger at that moment and he also held back his anger. He's winning. He can hold his anger. As for me, I still remain angry at him tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow again. Until he has a girlfriend.

My tears are dripping. He promised me to tell him everything, but only I knew nothing. I don't know when I didn't have it at the time. Time can stop at any time. If I had known, I'd be a little selfish. I will spend a lot of time with him. Just both. Is May right? My son likes me. If true, why is it so painful? Shouldn't I be happy? Because my love doesn't clap one hand.

I abandoned my intention to go to class. I walked to the school toilet and cried there. I cried without a sound. Pain and guilt gathered in my chest. So tight. The universe loves to see me cry.

*****

I enjoyed the wind in front of my face. Stroking Ami's long hair. Put both my hands on the bridge hatcher and let my tears flow. I can't cry at Ami's house. I'm afraid her parents are suspicious. I arrived at Ami's house at 4 p.m. I went straight to the bed and calmed my heart. Not successfully. I still want to cry. I'm sorry to go out for a minute to Ami's parents. I said I wanted to buy something at the minimarket.

Here I am now. On the pedestrian bridge located in the alley of Putra's house. This is also the place that makes the time stop and my time is still running. His destiny stopped and my destiny continues. He was in my future plans first. And I had to change that plan.

Eliminate it even though I don't want to because I have to keep going. I don't know when my time will stop. All I know is I have to keep going because God won't like it. He wouldn't like it if I kept walking on the spot either. In the end, the prayer I gave every time I missed him. I hope he will be happy. I will try to be happy too.

The beautiful memories with him are still going on and on in my head. Everything was. Those memories are what keep him alive and me alive. My tears are still flowing. I tried to calm myself by enjoying the atmosphere tonight.The lights of the vehicle that form a colorful light. Lonely street lights. There are fewer vehicles here than in Depok. It can even be counted on the fingers. People also rarely use this bridge. Only finger counts pass frequently. I'm starting to calm down. My tears have stopped flowing.

“Ngapain is here?”

That sound. The voice that made me cry today.

“You why?”I come back with a ketus.

“This is near my house. Just make it natural that I'm here. Lah you, this is quite far from your home, ” replied the Son.

“Against the wind,”balasku sober. I held myself back from crying.

He did not reply again and stood beside me. He looked at the road while enjoying the wind caressing his black hair. I watched him carefully. Trying to record what his face and expression look like so I don't forget. It's so beautiful this guy.

“You have a problem with Aira and May?”ask me to vent. Whatever answer. I have to be ready to hear it. The sooner the better.

“I told everything to May. I said I don't like the same guy, ” replied Putra.

“Terus May says what?”

“Dia knows. He knows I don't like him. He tried to make me like his friend, but it did not work, ” replied the Son who still looked at the road in front of him.

“Keep that Aira?” tanyaku carefully.

“I also said my friend I don't like his best friend. I like other girls and she's angry. That's why he's sniffed today. More emotional,”tales Putra.

He took his eyes off the road and looked at me when talking about Aira. Her face did not show that she did not like Aira's attitude today. Unless otherwise. His eyes glowed when he talked about it.

“Aira is stubborn,”ucapku is shrinking.

“Very,” replied with a smile to me, then turned his gaze to the road.

I don't reply to him anymore. He was quiet too.

“But I like,”ucapnya.

Deg. My hands were suddenly cold and my heart was beating faster. “Like?”

“Iya. I still like his name. Same with Aira,” he replied.

I wanted to hug this guy in front of me and say I like him too. L loved her. I still love him even though we live in a different world now. My tears are flowing. I removed it immediately so he wouldn't suspect it.

“I have to how, Mi? How do I make him like me?”ask the Son to keep looking at the road ahead.

“Why aren't you honest with Aira?” my many.

“And destroy their friendship. I know Rara will also choose May over me. He must have chosen his best friend, ” he replied.

I can't hold back my tears anymore. I cry in silence. It's as tight as this chest, but I have to hold it. My breath seemed to want to stop holding this tightness.

“Means I was thinking. After graduating high school, I'll shoot. I'm going to have a serious relationship with him. No kidding. After graduating High School. I have to be patient. He also does not want to date. She also promised her parents not to date until she graduated high school. She... si Rara... is in my future plans,”his story.

I can't hold it anymore. I vaporized everything. I could no longer hold back my crying voice. I cried roaring. I was also in his future plans and the universe didn't like our plans. After I realized I loved her first, I also tried to hold back my feelings in order to keep May feeling. After graduating high school, I'll tell her how I feel. To this man in front of me. We have the same plan.

I still keep crying. I crouched down and put my head on my knees. I heard the Son ask me why I was crying, but I did not answer. I just want to cry today. Weeping over a fate that I cannot change how much I pray. From him, I knew that love doesn't have to be together. You don't always have to say hello. You don't always have to stare. Love can grow deeper and deeper even though what is left behind is only one of them. Although I can't hear his voice. Although he could not look at his face. Although I can't hear her reply every time I tell her. Love can grow deeper.

The son crouched down and patted my shoulder. I still keep crying. I heard him laugh and see me cry like a child who lost his favorite toy. Yes, I did lose. Lost my time with him. Let me cry as much as I can. Let me enjoy the clap on my shoulder. I'm begging you.