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Ma, Kangen Kanya

Renjana Kanya's

"Hello, Ma. Good afternoon!" my broom cheerfully while peeping Mama's forehead that has not been conscious.

The sound of tools attached to the body of Mama, makes me more slurred every time I visit this room. After following the routine activities of the Son every morning, I decided to immediately go to the hospital after bathing and changing clothes. In fact, the Son asked me to wait for him so that we could leave together. However, before the man finished his bath - which was longer than the princess - I rushed to Mama's place.

Being at home for too long makes me feel more happy because the message I sent to Araz since yesterday was not reciprocated. At least, when I was with Mama, I had time to share my grievances with the woman and forget about my frustration with Araz.

Huh, just remembering his name has made me cringe. And, that's obviously very annoying. He might not have given any news at all.

I know, there's something Araz is preparing for his future. Her ideals. A time network that will not be easy to pass. It would be selfish if I demanded his attention. However, it does not necessarily disappear without any news at all ‘kan? Even Mas Hanung alone still took the time to contact me when saying goodbye when deciding to retreat. While he who claimed to be a lover had not contacted me at all.

Hufftt....really, this made me think, was there anything in my attitude that made Araz behave in this way? If you think about it, I am really evil. He loved me so sincerely, but I still thought about my feelings for the Son just because it got carried away. No, although not carried away though, I can not deny if there are still feelings of affection for the man who is now my brother. Yes, but how about it, our story sheet is finished and continues on another story that can not be as easy as it was changed. We just play our roles, right?

I admit, my attitude towards Araz is really evil. Even so I also can not force myself to immediately forget my memories with the Son, right? And, Araz tried to take it – even though I knew it must have been very difficult for him. Then do not have to ignore me ‘kan? He promised to make me fall in love many times. Am I wrong to expect more from Araz?

Huffttt .. I let out a long sigh once again. There was still no sign from Araz that the man had replied to the chat I sent.

My eyes were on my mom's face. I looked at the face of the woman who still looked peaceful in her sleep. My smile expands. There's a fidget I want to share. However, Mama still seems to want to fall asleep longer than I thought.

"Ma, is it still good to sleep? Mother, kangen. Mama, when do you wake up? There's a lot Kanya wants to tell Mama."

Six days have passed, but the condition of the mother is still the same. His body lay limp with the help of tools that are on standby 24 hours. Even though the doctor said, Mama has made it through her critical period. Still, the woman has not shown that she will soon wake up.

I stroked Mama's face that looked peaceful in her long sleep. Although wrinkles appear clear, but Mama's skin looks healthy well-groomed. I smiled bitterly. In the past, Mama who always brought me to do this treatment and that is so that my face and body are well maintained. However, I always ignored the request of the woman. Until I realized by myself how important it is to take care of myself. Not for others, but for yourself.

"Beautiful," I murmured as I observed the firm structure of Mama's cheekbones. "It's only right that Eka's father can't move on from Mama."

My smile expands. Maybe that is what love is. Despite being separated by thousands of full moons, they are still united by the universe, albeit in different ways. In a way that also leaves tears and wounds.

Oh yeah, Victor's been allowed to go home. There's Ita's mom, the babysitter who took care of her. Bi Lastri also helped. His job is increasing. But Victor's very smart, Ma. He never fusses. Never bothered Mbak Ita or Bi Lastri. Even if she never fussed. It was different from how it used to be. Mama says she stays up every night.

Ma, there are also men who want Kanya to know Mama. Name, Alcatraz. It's scary, Ma. Kanya first knew her name also felt sinister. His name makes Kanya remember the same famous prison. But no wonder anyway. His father is retired police officer. Even so, its nature is not as scary as its name. Even he's really good. So good, Kanya until sometimes confused how to deal with him. There's a feeling of gloating. Afraid that Kanya's attitude, it makes Araz hurt. Although Kanya also can not avoid the fact that it hurt the feelings of the man.

Sorry about yes, Ma. Sorry if all this time, Kanya always bothers Mama. I'm asking you to do this and that. Suing Mama to leave Om Eka, but Kanya knows, that's just Mama's happiness. Sorry Kanya too, if in fact Kanya has not been able to completely forget the Son. But, Kanya will not ask Mama to ninggin Om Eka again, really. So please Ma, Mama get up quickly huh. Kanya kangen, Mama. Kanya wants to, Mama hugs Kanya. Kanya, miss Ma."

My voice is getting slower. Inaudible. Defeated by the cries that quietly drenched both of my cheeks. I sobbed while hugging the body of Mama who had not yet responded.

"Just miss, Ma. Kanya really miss the same, Mama," I muttered as I continued to hug the woman's body.

I sobbed in his arms. There was nothing more I could say but a loud cry. I really miss Mama. I want the woman to return my arms and wipe my hair like before. Yeah, a long time ago. When Mama hasn't turned into a shitty figure in my eyes. Before Mama always imposes a will on what she wants on me. Mama who will always hug my body during cold nights that feel long.

"Ma, I miss you" I said almost silently.

It feels like my chest is so painful to endure the longing that I have been desperately holding. Pretending not to need a warm hug that even now I've forgotten. In fact, I miss him so much. Missing the warm embrace and caress of Mama. I really miss that woman.

God, can I ‘kan feel warm hug like before? I miss. I really miss Mama hugging me. Let me feel that warm hug again, Lord. Please.

My crying can't stop. Moisten all over the body of Mama wrapped in patient clothes complete with tools that sustain his life.

“Mama!”

My reflexes awakened from my position of hugging Mama, as I felt the woman's hand move too slowly. I almost screamed hysterically. The eyeball, which normally does not move, is now blinking. The longer it went, the faster it moved before it finally completely opened its eyes.

His eyes locked on me. The pale and dry lips smiled. Mention my name even though it's shrewd.

Instantly, my crying got louder. With quick steps, I walked out of Mama's room and into the nurse's room to let her know that she was awake. Yes, Mama has been rumored. God heard my prayers. God allowed me to feel Mama's embrace even longer.