Go home

Problems Will Always Come and Go As Long As We Breathe

Renjana Kanya's

We had just reached Juanda terminal one when the device in my pants pocket rang. I swipe the notification bar in the home menu and check who sent the message. Some of my office friends asked me when I was back. There are also sources who re-confirm the interview schedule for a topic - I forgot to leave my duties to others. Luckily they were busier and shifted the time to meet.

Not spared Vina and Deni who have terrorized me since two days ago. Ask when I'm coming back just to collect their order - a variety of chips that become snacking friends when the deadline is hunting. Though my cut from Mas Hanung is still eight days away. If it wasn't for bad memories or events that took place exhausting my conscience, I'd like to stay longer. Visiting my father and telling various kinds of fret.

My eyes blinked when I saw the message notification. A name - in between Vina chat with group office, caught retina. A name that rarely appears since I no longer care about all the chat he sent me. Now the message appears again whether it brings bad or good news. But I always believed his presence always brought bad news.

I touched the notification of that message which instantly popped up my chat room with him. Not long, but not short.

Give me a chance to explain everything that happened. After that whatever your decision, I will accept.

I took a deep breath after reading the message from the Son. Really, I really want to rearrange my wounded heart. For these two years I've only let everything sink into a slump. Without the slightest intention to break away from the shackles that were entering me. But when I try to stare at other times, there are only annoying pebbles on the way.

What needs to be explained? Our story is over. I already knew everything that happened on the night of the curse that made me leave the Son's grandfather's house with a broken heart. I assume it's all over and it can't be fixed.

Aldo looked at me sitting restlessly in the departure hall twirling the device. Sometimes I put the end of my salary on my forehead. It was as if that 6.2-inch thing could transfer my thoughts to Son.

The man patted my knee slowly and stretched out the mineral water in the tumbler. A smile adorned his slightly disheveled face. May be tired due to being trapped while traveling. Or whatever it is. Even so he still maintained his smile until his eyes narrowed even more.

"Drink first let it calm down. If the mind is confused again, sometimes what we do is not as expected."

I returned Aldo's smile and accepted the man's tumbler. I don't know when and where he refilled the bottle that contained the toilet earlier.

"Good thanks, Mom," I said after drinking water from Aldo's tumbler. A little treat for the restlessness that bothers me.

"Sori if I'm pretentious, but there are times when we have to dare to face reality even though it hurts, Him." Aldo's words just made me look at the man. The smile still did not vanish from his disheveled face. "There's no harm in taking a risk?"

I smiled back at the man's statement. Maybe he was being pretentious, but somehow made some of the burden in my heart suddenly melt. Change the strength to face the Son who now feels disturbing.

"What does Mas Aldo think?" Hearing me call it Aldo again, made the man anxious and pinched my cheek. "Oh, it hurts."

"Wild, wrong himself still call me Aldo. My name is Araz, Kanya. If you think Alcatraz is too creepy."

I laughed even though my cheeks were still sore. He looked real when he pinched me earlier.

"Sori Mas, sometimes the brain likes stupid if it has become a habit," my god increasingly makes Aldo anxious and wants to pinch me once again. But I immediately dodged before his hand touched my cheek. "I called a friend first yes, Mas," I said at the end and moved away from Aldo.

I dialed Son's number in my salary contact. Shortly after the tone continued, someone greeted from across.

"Hello Kanya."

"What else would you like to explain Put? I don't need it and please don't ever interrupt my life again."

"You need to know everything that's going on."

"What's? The fact that requires me to give up my own parents because she is already pregnant? The fact that she miscarried because she was too stressed and made them even more inseparable? Or the current condition where my parents are pregnant with your future sister? What else do you want to explain? I know everything, Put."

"But that doesn't explain how I feel, it does."

"It's none of my business anymore. We're done, Put. You can't deny that."

"I love you, Him. Never changed."

"And we are too cowardly to go against a current that is too swift. Let me or you drown. We can't swim together towards the edge. Because for me it hasn't been us since I've decided to leave."

"Give me a chance to fix everything from scratch."

"Repair what else? Do you know what I mean by not talking about it?" My voice is getting higher.

Can't that man understand my situation? Or at least accept the risk of his own choice. In the past, she was the one who first let her papa and mama get married, when I insisted on opposing her. After two years had passed, he hoped that he would repeat everything from the beginning. As what? What to expect if the relationship will end in vain. There is no future in a relationship that is not clear in which direction the goal is.

I had forced myself to be selfish to ask them to divorce after disappearing for so long. The night before I left two years ago, I begged my mom to cancel her wedding to Om Eka, but she said it was only the monkey's love that would soon be forgotten. In fact, it is not that easy to forget the eight years that have been missed. What else breaks the bond of those who have been blinded by love or whatever it is people call it.

"If you are still thinking of carrying out your plan two years ago, sori Put. I can't. I may be a child who can not be filial, but marrying the child of my mother's second husband is not the right action. I have a fragile heart not to ignore the neighbor's scorn."

"We can stay as far as you want, Him. We can go out of the country if you want."

"And you know best where I've always wanted to live. I don't think our conversation is important anymore, Put. So please, don't call me again just to discuss this matter or you'll completely lose track of me."

Without waiting for Son's reply, I ended the phone call without saying goodbye. I erased the tears in my eyes and kept the device in my pants pocket.

The burden in my heart felt lighter after deciding to talk to the Son. I stepped out of the past. Although I don't know how far I can. For it is too in the name that is engraved in the heart.

Hufft...

I took a long breath. At least for starters, it's good enough to rearrange the pieces of my broken heart.

With a lighter step, I returned to the place where Aldo was sitting quietly while staring at the people. For a moment, I expected the man to say or ask something as I sat down next to him again. But during the flight to arrive in Jakarta he did not speak at all.

I don't know what he's putting in his head. I don't want to know either. Even though I was curious in my heart. Did any of my words hurt his heart, other than that I called him Aldo?

"Thank you Mas, we've been delivered" I said as Aldo drove me to the apartment in the taxi we were riding. The man just nodded.

Aldo forced to use the same taxi under the pretext of our apartment unidirectional. I'm trying to agree because I wonder if he'll make a sound in a taxi. In fact, he suddenly became really quiet and only spoke when offering to go home together.

One problem had just dared to decide, another problem appeared that complicated the mind.

I remember the words of a sage who and from where, that problems will always come and go alternately as long as we are still breathing. After all why do I take a headache with Aldo's suddenly changed attitude? Maybe the man is tired or he does not need me anymore because the main purpose of covering batik gedog is finished. If it is indeed the last possibility that happened, I will sue Mas Hanung for wasting my precious time. Wasted for free just for the sake of delivering coverage and thrown away.

Hufftt... Why am I so cranky?