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Hello, Dad

Renjana Kanya's

I asked Mr. Pras to stop at the funeral before heading to the airport. There's a complaint I want to talk to dad about. There's a longing I want to say before I leave this town again for an indefinite period of time that I can't determine. I haven't seen him in two years.

"Ehm, can I come down?" aldo asked as Mr Pras pulled over the car on the side of the road to the cemetery.

"No problem if you want to come, but surely the road is a bit muddy because last night it rained. Mas Aldo's shoes change to sandals if you bring."

"Araz, Kanya. Please get Aldo out of your memory" said the man, making me laugh.

I'm not used to saying the guy's name correctly. Aldo is easier to cling to than Araz or Alcatraz. Instead I imagined the creepy prison when I heard Alcatraz.

Well maybe change it, when we can get more familiar. Or am I getting used to it from now on? But it's funny to see his face when he explains that his name is Araz not Aldo.

"Well, let's follow me Mr. Araz," I said stretching out my right hand as I bowed to imitate the restaurant's waiter.

There is nothing wrong with making the man happy. But I can't promise that tomorrow I'll call him Araz. Ah, no need to wait tomorrow, maybe a few more minutes I've called him Aldo.

"Sori, whose grave would you know?" aldo asked as we reached a clean, well-kept tomb.

I smiled at Aldo before answering flatly, "My father's grave, Mas. He died three years ago in an accident."

The man just nodded his head and pulled the device out of his shirt pocket. He opened the Quran app online and read Yasin's letter in a soft voice. Hearing the man recite Yasin to dad, somehow made my heart wet. It was as if there was water washing my heart until it felt cold.

Unknowingly I was so dissolved in the scene in front of me that a drop of water fell on the back of my hand. I hastily removed the tears without Aldo's knowledge and went back to look at my father's grave.

I looked at my father's tombstone while sitting crouched next to his grave. There are fresh flowers that indicate that someone has just visited. Maybe Om Anas - the father's youngest brother - or Bude Maya - the father's eldest brother - who regularly visits and cleans the father's tomb. He is a father of three and he is a second son.

They would sometimes send me messages if they had gone to their brother's grave. It is not uncommon to remind me to always pray for the deceased.

After praying for my father and sprinkling the flowers I had previously bought at the entrance to the tomb, I asked Aldo to wait in the car. There's something I want to tell my dad that no one else should know. The man had only really left when he convinced himself that I would be fine.

"Hello Dad, long time no see" I said as Aldo walked away. I was still sitting crouching beside my father's grave as I stroked his tombstone.

That day, the end of January 2017. A few days before my graduation. Dad was just running errands from out of town when the car driven by his personal driver had an accident on the highway. Dad's car was hit by a truck from behind as the road went down. While the front hit a slow-moving container.

There's been an alleged brake blong from the truck that hit Dad's car. His position squeezed in the middle was extremely unfavorable. He died instantly at the CTF. The driver died when he was taken to hospital.

I who heard the news could only cry. Even before the corpse reached home, I was already countless times unconscious. Every time I woke up and found out that my father was dead, I passed out again. It was as if something had been forcefully pulled inside me that I could no longer think clearly except to shed tears and feel pain that was so painful.

Just one thing I asked God, why did it all happen four days before my graduation? Why didn't God give my father a chance to see my graduation? Though my father was the only one who was so proud when I finished college for 3.5 years. Though he was so enthusiastic to come to my graduation. But I was forced to attend first at his funeral.

Recalling the event, made tears slowly fall on my cheeks. I immediately removed it and looked back at my father's frozen tombstone.

"Sorry Anya for never looking at me. All this time Anya was busy escaping from the pain that Anya could not avoid. Sorry Anya who has grown up to be a selfish and troublesome child Dad. It must be there Daddy's sad to see Anya is the same..." My voice was stuck in my throat. It's hard to call the mother's call that my father taught me since I could speak.

To dispel the uncomfortable feeling that suddenly stopped by, I laughed insipidly. Then rub the mark of the stone with trembling hands. There were tears I held so as not to spill in front of my father. Even though I was sure from where I was, I could definitely see me desperately holding the clear crystal from my eyes so as not to cry.

"I'm sorry Anya if you can't be a filial child to your parents. Anya who is stupid for loving people excessively to forget if one's destiny no one knows except the Owner of Life. Anya it was dark eyes loved the Son and in the end was seriously injured when she learned of the fact that..." My voice was stuck in my throat again. This time I should be able to say it in front of my father.

"Mama and Papa Putra turned out to be ex-lovers. Do you know their relationship first? He said Mama chose Dad because he was more ready to get married than Om Eka. I owe you the same story. Anya will charge if it is time.

Hehe... Anya kept this two years for Dad's story. Anya is tough, Dad. It was originally fragile. There are no friends I can talk to. Except Almira is the same Damar, but they can't give you solutions other than asking Anya to be patient. At least, Anya is grateful to still have those who love her just as much."

I shrank the tears that had broken through my defenses. It is not easy to stop yourself from crying. In fact, I was so sentimental when I complained to my father about the difficulties I had been facing all this time.

Since long ago, I have often shared my fret with my father. Every problem I always shared with my father until he taught me how to do if I face difficulties. It makes me depend on my dad. I will definitely look for him to ask for a solution to every problem I face. It made me so devastated when he left. Like a bird whose wings are forcibly broken. It will lose balance.

"Begging God for forgiveness Well, because Anya has become a troublesome child. Maybe even Mama. Sorry if Anya has not been able to accept Mama's decision to marry Om Eka. Maybe someday. After Anya can rearrange Anya's heart that has been destroyed.

Return first, Dad. There are people waiting for Anya. We have to get to the airport so we don't miss the flight. Anya will look at Dad again. Anya never spared Dad. He always remembered Dad. What if I get hurt again.

Hehe... Damar said, Anya will definitely become a beautiful eagle one day. Maybe because it has been forced to fly in a different way. Whatever it was, Anya was slowly able to accept Yah. Until then, I'll definitely see Anya smiling happily from up there."

I immediately got up from my seat after saying goodbye. I wiped the tears off my cheek before I got back to the car. I don't want Aldo or Mr. Pras to see my face wash over after crying.