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Season 2 #He Who Crys in His Female Hugs

they sat on the veranda of Aksa's tomb for quite a long time. Leaning and holding hands. Impregnate the surrounding conditions that feel quiet, also enjoy a breeze that blows from the slopes of the hills. The building, located in a corner of Bagaskara's backyard, was indeed prepared for a family funeral. However, ironically it was the youngest family members who lay there first.

Faced with such a reality, Araz's tears were released again. The man sank back into his regret. While in Aksa's tomb, Araz was always unable to forgive his past folly. Those bad memories still hold it up. That's what makes him rarely - even almost never - go home to his parents. Araz has always been overshadowed by nightmares about Aksa. However, Aksa must have forgiven his mistake. However, it is still not easy to forget the fatal mistakes that have been made for Araz.

While Kanya is still fixated on Aksa's tomb which appears frozen before them. Although the tomb of the marble stone was decorated with white lilies that always looked fresh, did not reduce the impression of cold. Fruits are available on a cup, various objects that seem to be liked by mediators during life, until a portrait of a teenage boy in a black suit, seized Kanya's attention. One thing the women admired from the Bagaskara family was how they were able to coexist peacefully in their differences and respect each other's choices.

Previously, Kanya had never felt directly, until she was at the Bagaskara family home and heard the chants of a soft hymn combined with the voice of Araz who was reading the scriptures this morning. Or maybe Araz's invitation to visit his sister's grave, even though the man prayed differently. He felt a peace that he had never felt before. Not that Kanya had been living life as intolerant, but only this time she felt that she was in the middle of a difference she had never felt. Kanya's heart feels so cold. Although it also feels painful when seeing how bad Araz when remembering his only puppet sister.

The fingers of their hands are still interlocked, as if delivering the signal they feel. Kanya patted the back of Araz's cold hand in her hand.

"Mas, I'm sorry if I was presumptuous to say this, but I also can't bear to see Mas Araz suddenly lose his kayak gini spirit. I don't know exactly how Mas Araz feels. I have also lost a precious person in this life, even with the same conditions as Mas Araz. At least I understand the pain a little bit. I also don't know if this is right for Mas Araz's current condition, but isn't it as long as we're alive every problem will always come and go? That's what sets us apart from those who left first. Do you understand what I mean? So ... "

Kanya hung up her sentence when she saw the tears slashing down Araz's cheeks. He did not know that the man was crying again, having calmed down a while ago. The woman felt guilty. He shouldn't have spoken that presumptuously, as if he knew best what Araz was feeling.

"Sorry," muttered Kanya.

The woman pulls Araz in her arms and lets him cry. Kanya could feel, how fragile the man was. He who had always looked strong behind his smile. He was always comforting when he was hurt. He who always acts mature by hiding feelings of fatigue and even disappointment behind his jokes. He who has always been the place to lean, also has a weak side that has never been shown. If now the man shows it in front of Kanya, of course the burden he feels is not able to be harbored alone.

"We once promised that if Aksa felt a little healthier and could breathe without oxygen for a long time, we would visit hal-abeoji and enjoy a long vacation on Jeju Island. But, before the promise was fulfilled, I actually deliberately became a sister figure that was not good for Aksa. That day he asked me to come home. That day he called me many times. But I just ignored it. If ... if ... "

Araz's cry broke. He stumbled in Kanya's arms. The man's chest felt so painful as he recalled his foolishness in the past. However, whatever he was doing right now, would not be able to return his sister who had already returned to earth. Whatever his efforts remain will not be able to bring him back in the past. That made Araz's mind more tormented. The fact that he could not accept, it made him unable to walk without leaving regret. 

"Mas Araz, can I ask you something?" kanya asked in the end after they had been silent for quite a while. Only the sound of Araz's crying remained, which was getting weaker.

"Anything," murmured Araz barely.

"Sorry, but I wonder what kind of figure Aksa is in Mas Araz's eyes? Sorry if my question actually makes Mas Araz remember back about Aksa. I just want to know."

Hearing questions and statements from Kanya, the man relaxed his embrace. He saw a portrait of a teenage boy displayed on a tombstone in front of them. Her view glazed. He did not want to answer Kanya's question, but he also wanted to tell her how Aksa was to her lover.

Araz was pensive for a long time. Recalling the younger brother who was eight years younger than him. There were many things he wanted to tell Kanya, but he did not know where to start. For, when remembering Aksa only the memory of his foolishness is left.

The man looked at his lover and nodded slowly. Either way, Araz would say that it would make her happy, even though she herself was now feeling an excruciating tightness in her heart. Perhaps in the same way, Araz can start his story about Aksa.

"Hemmm .. He preferred to call Mas Araz Hyeong, but Maz Araz preferred to be called Mas because he had lived in Solo for a long time." Kanya's guess took the man by surprise.

"How do you know?" ask Araz curious.

"Yes' name is also a guess, Mas," replied Kanya with a loose smile on her face. As if he was satisfied because his guess was not wrong.

"Don't it be true Hanung said that you're a psychic?"

"Ish .. No, Mas. Mas Hanung tuh the psychic. You can read people's minds."

"But Hanung said, your intuition is often on target."

"Yes, that means obviously, my intuition is sharp. Not because I'm a psychic."

Araz's smile is broken. It is true too Kanya said. "So, how sharp is your intuition, Aksa?" challenge Araz to be curious.

Talking about random things with Kanya, can always restore Araz's deteriorating feelings for the better. The man actually just wanted to anchor the tired that he had been alone, in a place that he was supposed to rest.

"Hemmm .. I'm sure anyway, you guys are compact in some ways, but also very opposite. If I were Aksa, I would definitely make Mas Araz a role model in many ways. He is not?"

Araz didn't answer his girlfriend's question right away. Indeed, during his life, Aksa and himself were very compact in making Bagaskara ride apitam. Especially since High School they live together because Araz previously lived with his father's brother in Solo. Not infrequently they are both punished for juvenile delinquency in general and often get them into trouble. Like crossing a park bench, or intentionally breaking a neighbor's window while playing throw a ball in the yard.

Even so, Aksa was always amazed by her only puppet sister. It was rarely his admiration he showed so blatantly. Although sometimes, Araz also often advised Aksa if his sister had to live better than him. Especially when Araz began to go to college and his sister grew into a teenage boy who often imitated his brother's actions.

"It seems like my guess this time was right again. Aksa must be the same Mas Araz. So, now I can confidently guess, if Aksa does not want to see the brother she loves blame himself for the departure that has been outlined. Was Araz sure, ever speak from heart to heart with Aksa after he left? I should be sure, there must be something Aksa said to Mas Araz one last time. Like Arez who left a lot of stories to Mas Araz. I'm sure Aksa must have done the same thing because she really loved Mas Araz wholeheartedly."

Araz's tears are back. After so many years of his sister's departure, why did he think about it after Kanya told him? She hugged the woman tightly. Like a boy, Araz spilled all forms of his grief in Kanya's arms.