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My Guardian Angel's

Renjana Kanya's

Happy I sound you

It's worth it with you

Always be guarding

All of this

May it be eternal

I finally found it

You're my guardian angel

Please forever

This beautiful

I finally have

You're my guardian angel

Resurrect everything

You're the one I'm waiting for

Baby, I love you

Happy is you

The value of your love

Always take care of all this

May it be eternal

I finally found it

You're my guardian angel

Please forever

This beautiful

I finally have

You're my guardian angel

Resurrect everything

You're the one I'm gonna be

Baby I love you *

 

“Putra, try to hear this song deh.”

That afternoon we spent time in the music studio at the Son's grandfather's house. Nada Sumbang there is a training schedule and I was asked to accompany the guy. He said there was an invitation to fill the event at the turn of the year. He asked for my advice, should any song that is good to be sung when performing.

Besides, I got additional duties from Nada Sumbang. They always make me a critic of their performances. Anggit and Danu said, I have a good ear to detect the mistakes they make. Basically, I love music as much as I love words.

“You asked me to sing this song on gig?” son could not hide the smile on his face. He always looks amused when it comes to singing songs from female singers. Especially with such melancholy tones and melodies.

“Neither, Son. I'm pointing this song out to you. Don't you know what I mean?”

The laughter of the Son grew wider. That guy ruffled my hair that was never more than a shoulder in the past.

“Neither. Tell dong. What do you mean you tell me this song? You are declaring love again? 'And we've made Anya, why use the show declaring love all the hell?” putra ngasal's Comments.

That guy always was. He often said absurd things in his mind. Sometimes his attitude like that makes me anxious and eager to pinch him.

“Ish, that's so bad. Pretending not to know, but laughing himself. Ngeletedek nih story.”

“Ngak, swear. I really don't know what you mean, Anya. Why are you showing me this song? Laura's love isn't it? It was beautiful, her voice was good too. Do you want to sing too? Your voice is also good loh.”

I rolled my eyes in response to Son's statement. That guy always was. Pretending not to understand what I am saying, but he is the most understanding of what I want to say.

“Lyric song, Putra. Ish, really.”

Smile on the face of the Son. “Iya, why the same song lyrics?”

The Son's question made my face feel hot. I know, my face must have turned red when he asked that question. It wasn't the Son's question that made me blush, but the answer to that question was what embarrassed me.

“This is like drawing my position to you. You're my guardian angel. I feel lucky to see you again after a long separation, no news, just say it, and suddenly you come back and we get closer.”

“Hemm .. if I am your guardian angel, you are the soul I have to take care of dong.”

I blushed. My smile was timid to hear the Son refer to me as the soul he must guard.

“It's .. It's up to you to assume what I am.”

“Loh, that's it. Yes if I am a guardian angel, it is appropriate that you are my soul dong.”

“Lah, how the hell. How to be shy. My soul, look here dong.”

"What the hell, Put. Strange to know."

“Ihh, how strange. The first one to find the term guardian angel ‘kan you, kok even so I'm the weird one anyway.”

“Iya already, but do not need to be tempted so also kali.”

“Sini, borrow his HP.”

“Make what?”

“Here, borrow the HP first.”

The son snatched the phone from my hand and opened the contact storage. After finding what he was looking for, the man changed the name of his contact to My Guardian Angel.

“From now on, your contact name will also be changed to Jiwaku ❤. Impas ‘kan?”

Our smiles are both. In my eyes is only the Son whose figure I hope to always be able to accompany until whenever it is.

***

Lying if I say I no longer have feelings of love for the Son. Really, eight years of dating is not a short time. We both grew up as adults. Our story that is not always sweet teaches many things in the process of maturation. However, I thought it was all dead when I decided to leave. In reality I still fell in the burning fire covering us.

I did fall asleep when my son carried my body to the room. Even so, my sense of hearing is always more sensitive even when closing my eyes. All the words of the Son caught clear in my ears. Even when he said that he still holds dear feelings for me and called me “jiwaku”. The real name kept me awake right then and there.

"Beautiful dreams are also my Guardian Angel," I said involuntarily carried away.

That call, it used to be so close to us. Guardian Angel's. Guardians and guarded souls. I don't know if Son still remembers that call. I think she's been forgetting about it for a long time since she decided to support Mama and Eka's father together. After all, he pushed me away. From the beginning I always thought that the man no longer had feelings for me. That's what makes me mad at him. That's what made me hate him and never want to meet him.

Even when he apologized, he never once said he wanted to come back to me. He never admitted that he still had feelings of love for me. He always asked me to accept the fact that Mama and Eka's father had been united and there was nothing we could do but accept the decision.

However, after I made peace with my pain, after I tried to accept Araz with half of my heart left, she said, suddenly the Son said that he still loved me and called me what he should not do now.

Unknowingly my tears welled up. Especially when she put her lips on mine. I can't refuse the kiss. We exchanged kisses with tears. My chest feels tight. Never have I felt as deeply in love as I felt with the Son. He taught me the first thing about love, also about lara.

"You shouldn't have said. You should have been quiet from the beginning," I said softly still holding back tears. My son took me in his arms. He stood by the bed with me sitting on the bed.

"I'm sorry, I've been selfish. I just can't lie to my own feelings if I still love you, Him. I can lie to everyone if I'm okay without you. I am fine supporting Papa and Mam Sukma, but I cannot lie to myself. I'm sorry, His. I'm sorry."

"It's not fair, Son. This is not fair at all. You hurt me in a different way. Why never admit it from the beginning if you also can not accept this situation. Why did you never choose to dare to leave in the first place. Why ... What should I do now? Why only now do you admit, son."

My crying is breaking. The Son's embrace is getting louder.

"I just want to see the people around me happy, Anya. I'm ... ."

"Lantas lo sacrifice yourself just to see them happy? To see me happy with someone else? Doesn't that make you suffer? Doesn't that make you sick?"

Son down. He kissed my forehead gently.

"No, I just haven't found a cure. If only I had found the cure, I'd be sure it would be cured. You know, the only thing I expected right now was for you to come back here. To this house. In the middle of your family. Our families. It doesn't matter to me you become whatever it is, Him. As long as you don't stay away from me. That's enough."

"Lo never thought about my feelings anyway every time I said something like this?" ask me with a vibrating voice.

The son looked at me with his two soft eyes as before. His lips smiled thinly. Even though he didn't say it, I knew there was a bitter feeling tucked away in his smile that felt frozen.

"I always knew, My. Even without you saying it, I always knew. But anyway, I'm not gonna take you or maybe ask you to Araz, am I? Be happy you two. That's enough for me, her. I'm sorry, if I end up being selfish."

"It's not fair, Son. It's not fair at all."

"I promised myself this would be the last one. I will not bother you anymore with the story that ever happened between us. I just wanted to admit that I feel relieved. Not more. I won't ask you to come back to me either. It's enough for me to see you back in this house, Anya. Because your place is here. This is where you should be. Not far away in your seclusion all this time."

"I ... ."

"Please, whatever it is if it's about me, don't say, Anya. I don't want to know the facts that make me even more sorry and hurt."

Mouth's tight. I stared at the face of the Son who looked more and more hurt. I swallowed the bitterness I had always hidden. That I can't completely forget my feelings of love for that man. But again the man pushed me away at the same time he hugged me.

My tears are flowing. Feeling the growing pain behind my bones.

"There's a heart we have to take care of, Anya. Not just one, but many hearts will be hurt if we forcefully push that boundary. Really, I'm sorry, His. I'm sorry if I had to sacrifice your feelings. Our feelings. I'm sure Araz can make you happier. He's a good man. Believe it."

A smile is engraved when the Son mentions the name Araz. That man is good as the Son said. Even he's too perfect. Without a loophole to look for defects in the man. So, is it evil if I accept him as a lover, but on the one hand I cannot forget the Son completely?

"Everything will improve, Anya. Believe this. I'm sure we can get through this."

"But what if I ... ."

Sentence paused. I want to tell my son what if I can't forget how I felt about that man. But my tongue is confused. I don't want to add to his mind burden. After all, the Son had sacrificed a lot on his own feelings. To see the people around him happy. Maybe it's true, if it's about how I feel about her, I shouldn't have to say it if I don't want to make her feel sorry.

"Trust, Anya. Our story sheet is over, but no story is really finished between us. We can continue the story with a different storyline, right? I don't want to force you to stay with me on a romantic story. I just want to walk with you to be another person. Best brother to you Viktor. Even so, believe me, I am still your guardian angel who will always protect you. Protecting our family. Grow up well, Anya. Really, you deserve to be happy for the life you live."

If the Son can be selfish, then can I do the same? Without the man's consent, I hugged his body tightly. Before finally kissing her lips. As a man I once loved. As a man who still leaves wounds is also happy at the same time. Also as a farewell to really end the romantic story between us.

"I'm sorry, Son. Sorry if I decided to walk away from such a complicated story. I honestly can't go on without you. These two years are not an easy time to rearrange everything from the beginning without you, but I forget that the level of human adaptation is very high. In the end, maybe I'll really get used to it without you. My lover. Even so, I apologize if one day, at one time I suddenly embraced not as a sister, but someone who loved you. Huuhh, but who knows how people will feel. Now I can accept Araz as my girlfriend. Maybe this isn't fair to Araz either, but as long as he can wait, this is okay, right? I'm not evil, am I? I didn't mean to play with his feelings" I said without pause.

Those ponds were staring at me. I gently put my face on. The smile engraved on the lips of the Son was warmer than before.

"I'm sure Araz can't possibly turn his back on you. That man sincerely loves you, Anya. And I'm sure, in the end you'll love her too. Maybe, I will still resemble a shadow, but it will not appear if there is no light that illuminates it, right? All I have to do is avoid the light as much as possible. Trust me, we can get through this."

I took a long breath. Son is right, there is no point also regretting everything that happened this time. We just need to keep looking to the future. Make things that are in place as a reference to achieve happiness.

Yeah, things are gonna get better. Everything's gonna be fine. It just takes time for everything to heal. All of them just need the right dose of medication. Dan, I found him. There's no way I'm betraying him. Because I chose him not to play him. I chose it because I wanted to change for the better than before. Moreover, I chose it because there was no complicated drama that bound us. Except for our own complicated stories about the past that are understandable.