"I'm Tired, I Want to Give Up "

Still Negative

"Darling... what else is it.. Why is it like such an urgency?" Mas Eagle approached while lying behind my body and wrapped his hands to my waist spoiled.

"Nothing... Tone is just afraid of me."

"Fear why the hell....?" The eagle looked astonished.

"Tone is two days late coming the moon, Tone is afraid in it there is already a fetus."

"Why should you be afraid..You don't want to have children from me, why are you afraid?" Mas Eagle frowned in wonder.

"Not afraid of being pregnant, Mom. Nada is just afraid of pregnancy Tone is not known anymore like yesterday. Yesterday because Nada did not know the end of the fetus Nada was not saved. Though aunt Mirna while in Jogja always remind Nada to check.

"What are you afraid of?"

"Nada needs a test, but who will buy it to the pharmacy?"

"Ohhh... You are afraid of getting pregnant again. Later Mas told Usep to buy a testpek to the pharmacy."

"Yes, thank you....!"

"Yes, then it may be strategic again, and Sya is at Marisa's house, we make children so that later it will be double!" invite Mas Perverted Eagle. I was wide-eyed to hear the invitation of Mas Elang whose words were so formal, the impression seemed to want to review a land that was to be sold which was strategically located.

"It's still noon you know Mas, Nada is afraid suddenly there are guests who come," my protest was worried.

"No. let the guest come, there is Bi Narti" he said, starting to play his hand.

"But.. time on this couch?"

"It's okay, on the couch another sensation baby....!" rayunya.

Finally deftly and cleverly Mas Eagle acted passionately on the sofa of this room. I resigned and just follow the game Mas Eagle who is getting wild and makes hovering.

"Honey. if Mas can ask, want our child is a girl. Let us be complete and add color," said Mas Elang while still not willing to take off the grip of his hand that is still wrapped around my waist. I could only smile to hold him.

"Keep if for example his son will be a boy, Mas Elang how will? Don't you want to love him?"

"Yes not dong, Mas still love.and if his son is still a boy, Mas want to make it again every year until Mas get a girl," he concluded while struggling spoiled. I can only stroke the chest, Mas Eagle thought pregnancy was good and there was no suffering. That's how it says.

The night is coming, Shapun has gone home. In the lap of Bi Ijah Sya fell asleep. Bi Ijah immediately brought Sya to his room.

"Thank you Bi!" my spoken.

"sama-sama Non. Excuse me first." Bi Ijah said goodbye and left the room Sya.

"Darling... How, is she asleep?" Mas Eagle approached and grabbed my waist and pulled him to the bed.

"Already, Mas," I said as I brushed off his mischievous hand.

Come ah. mungpung out in the rain," Mas asked Elang.

"Where are you going?" I said pretending to be astonished, when it can be guessed which way Mas Eagle spoke. I tiptoed away from Mas Eagle then entered the bathroom.

"Nadaaaa.. come on baby....!" he screamed while knocking on the bathroom door.

"Pissing tone first Mas, kebelet," I reasoned. Even though it was noon already, now it still wants again, Mas Eagle is indeed not tired.

Free to linger in the bathroom, Mas Eagle is still waiting and wants that last afternoon done on the sofa. I came out of the bathroom with my heart racing, for some reason after yesterday's miscarriage. Every time I have a husband and wife relationship I always feel sad afterwards. Feelings of hate and resentment always arise.

"Dear baby, why so long?" protest while patting the bed next to him. I lay beside Mas Eagle. Then my body was hugged as comfortably as possible and I felt really comfortable.

"Mas today was disappointed, because the report of Mas Police against Mayang was rejected," he said full of despair.

"Can I?" my response.

"The police said the evidence that Mas offered was incomplete and not strong enough to drag Mayang to prison, especially Mayang had already received assurances from her husband." The eagle took his breath in.

"Nada is concerned, but it's good that Mbak Mayang is not in the jail of Mas, because Nada is afraid that it will affect the mental Sya someday. Nada didn't want Sya to be a bully at school because she saw her mother dragged into prison" I said, drowning my head in Mas Elang's chest.

"But... Mas was very anxious and it felt like he wanted to give a lesson to Mayang. But it turns out Mayang has strong backing behind him.

" Have Mas, now do not think about wanting to imprison Mbak Mayang. After all Sya is healthy and safe," I comforted her.

"Well, Mas won't think about Mayang or about anyone else tonight. Tonight Mas just wants to honeymoon back with you," he said with a grin that was definitely ready to pounce. And. Mas Eagle's wish tonight is reached again. He always smiled with satisfaction and kissed her on the forehead, saying, "never leave Mas at any time." After that we drowned in the dream crib of a beautiful night.

Fajr is approaching, but Mas Elang is no longer beside me. I was looking for Mas Elang and apparently Mas Elang was in the next room, which is a shoe storage warehouse that was transformed into a work room. I peeked for a moment, because the door that happened to be not tightly closed. Mas Eagle's face looked serious and focused. Without wanting to make her focus bother, I returned to the room and immediately to the bathroom.

In the bathroom, I found a notice that read "Honey here testpeknya, wake up immediately use ya! May our struggle last night pay off immediately, two immediate thanks!" she wrote with hope.

I came out of the bathroom with an uninspired face, how not? The results of the test were apparently only a red line one, which means I am still not pregnant. There is a sense of sadness and disappointment, especially if Mas Eagle later found out. I feel afraid if Mas Eagle is disappointed as well.

"Where are the results?" The Eagle suddenly got behind me while grabbing my waist and kissing my cheek softly.

"Mas.. but I think Nada has not been trusted, because the results are still negative," I said lethargic.

"Negative...? Yesterday said it was late for the moon, but now it's negative. What the hell is right?"

"It could be Mas, Tone late coming months not because pregnant. But it's too late for the moon to come." I gave an excuse.

"Means our efforts are not yet maximal. What if we maximize it by planning a honeymoon?"

"Honeymoon?"

"Yes, honeymoon."

"No Mas. If we're on our honeymoon, who's she with?"

"There's Bi Ijah."

"No ah, Nada doesn't want a honeymoon. At home alone is enough," I refused subtly.

"It's up to you, baby. Besides, it's true, if we're on our honeymoon, I'm sorry, too." Finally Mas Eagle realized and would not plan a honeymoon.