"I'm Tired, I Want to Give Up "

Changes in Mother's Attitude

POV 1(Tone)

The car driven by Mr. Udin arrived in front of the house, Usep swiftly opened the gate, then the car entered and parked well. Me and Ma'am Vera went down first, then Mr. Udin helped put Mom down, and put her back in a wheelchair. The wheel in the push Mbak Vera into the house.

After taking Mom to the front of the room, I said goodbye. "Tone to the room first, yes, ma'am," my permission as I rubbed Mom's shoulder. The look on my face was sad, because my mood was still carried by emotions with all of Sonia's words in the city park.

"Tone!" Mom said my name then looked at me deeply, like there was guilt in her eyes. But Mother does not want to express her heart, Mother still seems hesitant to embrace or just mince words with me.

"Mom, Tone up first, yes," said me again with a feeling of sadness that is almost not restrained, especially if Mother discussed the speech of Madam Sonia in the park again.

I headed for the stairs with a little shaky steps, my chest felt tight, said Sister Sonia earlier in the park ringing clear. Bed woman, maniac***, sounds very painful more than the usual talk.

Arriving at the bed I fell down and cried because my tears were not held back. I was embarrassed when Sonia's mother said to me like that which had been heard by some people who passed in the park earlier.

How terrible the hatred that Mother incited, so that others also ridiculed me, Madam Sonia and Mayang, not to mention others who became friends Arisan Mother the other day who heard the scorn of Mother against me, being a big scourge in my socialist life outside later if I do activities outside, and happen to meet them.

I cried shedding my sadness and disappointment until I was so tired and sleepy. A few minutes later the sobs subsided as I slept in my sleep.

I woke up when Sya came and rocked my body. For a moment I thought and remembered the incident in the park. I want to be tepis, but still shadow me.

"Mother, why?" she asked in surprise as she held my hand. I rubbed my eyes still gloomy, tears the rest of my tears apparently became dirt attached at the end of my eyes into a lump that dried up.

"What time is this, Shay?"

"It's already the afternoon Mother, Mother has not had lunch. She wanted to wake up but said Bi Ijah do not, because Mother slept very soundly," he explained while looking at me.

"Mother, I miss Papa. Did Papa not contact Mommy?" tanya remembers her Papa. Let alone Shah I also miss Mas Eagle, in this situation I want to lean my shoulders on Mas Eagle and tell a story.

"Mother does not know yet, because since then Mother did not hold the HP." I give an excuse, and it's true that since this morning I did not hold the HP, when I went to the park just forgot to bring HP. I immediately looked for my HP which turned out to be on our room's small table.

"Batrenya exhausted," I muttered. "Hp The mother must be charged first, the batrenya empty," said I as he held Hp show to Sya. He nodded and looked disappointed.

When I got up, my body felt weak. It's only natural because I haven't had lunch and just woke up.

"Mother to the bathroom first yes, Mother's face is a lot of dirt," I said while pointing towards.

"Yes, Mother," he said.

"Non Nada, let's not eat first. This afternoon Bi Ijah wanted to wake Non, but it did not become because Non Nada sleeps very soundly." Bi Narti greeted me kindly.

"Yes, Bi, I happen to be hungry" I said while taking a little rice plus vegetables and fish. Hopefully, eating rice this time will not be nauseous.

"Yes, where, Bi? It was still in the room when I took a shower."

"Ahead, Non, with Bi Ijah. Just heard that the ice cingcau sale, Den Sya wanted, and asked between Bi Ijah. Ice cream in the fridge is still there."

"Let's go, Bi, it's a snack outside."

"Yes, No."

"Bi, I want to give you some ice cream, is that okay?"

"By, Non. Just love, it's okay. Ice cream, it contains milk, so it's good for Nyonyah who's having a stroke."

"How much longer will you be healed?"

"Can be fast, can also be long, Non. Depending on Madam's beliefs, it is our healthy efforts to try to make the Madam healthy. A week ago, the doctor said, Madam is having a good development. Start with a smooth talk, not cool anymore. And the intake of food that goes into the body of the Madam is not much oil, or salt, and most importantly the emotions of the Madam must be maintained," said Bi Narti Long.

"Yes, Bi. Now I look better emotionally. I hope you're cured of the disease soon."

"Aamiinnnn," Bi Narti agreed with my words.

"Alright, Bi. Now I want to take this ice cream to Mom's room" I said as I passed.

"Ok, Non. Congratulations on getting the heart of the madam. Non Nada is indeed a woman as well as a good daughter-in-law for Madam. No loss Madam gets a daughter-in-law as beautiful and as good as Non Nada. Success, Non," said Bi Narti even though no one heard.

Arriving at the room, I found Mom alone. Vera's mom is out of nowhere. "Mom!" Mom looked surprised when I said hello, maybe Mom was pensive earlier. As soon as I saw Mom's face, it seemed like she was crying.

"Mom, are you crying? Where's Vera? Here, Nada got me some ice cream. Must be fresh if eaten late afternoon." I sat on the bed facing my mother in a wheelchair facing the bed. So our position now, facing each other.

I know, maybe in a position like this, a lot of opportunities for me to avenge my treatment before the pain, especially Sonia's speech earlier invites back the heartache that Mother incised, it's bleeding again. However, I am an ordinary human being and now pregnant, I am trying to be in the comfort zone. I don't want to shackle myself with grudges and prolonged heartache. Maybe this is when I should start getting closer to Mom, so that Mom can be comfortable close to me.

"Mom, the ice cream is eaten yes!" I said while showing a bowl filled with vanilla ice cream and strawberries. Mom didn't say, she looked at me inside. In the corner of his eye came out the dew that was ready to fall because soon his feathers would fall.

"Why, Mom crying?" many wonder.

"I, I-I'm sorry .." said Mother interrupted while raising both hands, but the right hand could not be raised due to the stroke.

"Already, Mom, don't think about it. Now don't cry anymore. All of Mother's fault, Nada will throw away slowly. Forgive Nada as well Mom, if as long as Nada becomes Mother's daughter-in-law, Nada can not be a good daughter-in-law," I said sincerely. Hearing that, Mom started crying harder. Whether it was a cry of regret or what, I clearly saw that this time Mother was crying out of regret.

To quell her crying and sadness, I persuaded her to eat ice cream. Long persuaded finally the crying Mother subsided. But Mom doesn't want to feed me, she wants to be alone with her left hand. Mother said not to hang with her right hand. I smiled with relief seeing Mom there was a change in attitude today.