"I'm Tired, I Want to Give Up "

Trauma with Mother's Words

Three weeks have been through difficult times in the face of post-curet recovery. Although sometimes still feels pain that suddenly whack, but said Doctor pain that suddenly it is common, because it is still in recovery.

Like the usual days Mas Elang drove Sya to school, it has also been a week routine to the restaurant from morning until Sya came home.

"Honey, Mas go first yes," said Mas Eagle while kissing my cheek. "Well, too, today Mas want to make a report to the Police, Mas want to throw Mayang into prison." Suddenly I was surprised to hear that Mas Elang wanted to imprison Mbak Mayang to prison.

"What... imprison Mbak Mayang?"

"Yes... why? He has been proven guilty, who had been negligent in protecting minors until Sya fell from the car, fortunately only a temple was injured due to friction asphalt and a foot that was just a sprain."

"But... will it not be an influence on Sya if she hears her biological mother in prison?" Mas Eagle did not answer, he instead looked away staring away like there was doubt.

"Yes a bit!" repeat it again.

"Yes, Mom!" sahutku.

"Darling.. Since you miscarried you changed a lot, not cheerful as before. Come dong back cheerful as before, Mas Kangen you used to be," he said before stepping away, like a plea. I just smiled faintly, then immediately kissed the hand of Mas Eagle and gently pushed the body of Mas Eagle towards the door. Mas Eagle took his breath in a sign of disappointment.

When Mas Elang left, I was sitting languidly in bed. This change in my attitude has indeed been felt since I was insulted by my mother on the day I just returned from RS and still feel pain in the stomach as if sliced open. But mother's speech seems sharper than sembilu.

I should have rested and calmed down from all the agonizing problems, but mother without knowing the time and situation incised the wounds I wanted to heal, it became even more gaping.

Since I miscarried, Mas Elang also rehired Bi Ijah who used to work here one year ago before I became part of this family. Sya did not protest when lately after I miscarried, more accompanied by Bi Ijah. He is an understanding and obedient child.

This afternoon, Sya came home but escorted Usep using a motorcycle. I wonder where Mas Eagle went? It is possible that Mas Elang is busy taking care of PerkaSya Restaurant which is now advancing rapidly. Or even Mas Eagle is taking care of the problem of Mbak Mayang who will be in prison.

"But.. is Mas Elang able if it has been face to face with Mr Zulfikar?" my question seemed to doubt the ability of the Eagle.

At nightfall, Bi Narti came to my room. I happen to be with Sya. Bi Narti told me about dinner. Me and Sya went down the stairs and towards the dining table. Dinner this time was bland. Maybe because there is no Mas Eagle who usually enliven this dining table.

After dinner, Sya and I went straight to Sya's room. Tonight I want to be put to sleep. I'm happy because it feels like I haven't hugged Sya in a long time. And Sya fell asleep after I told a fairy tale before going to bed. Not long after that, I also slept beside Sya.

It was very late at night, when I saw the wall clock it was 10 p.m. I got up and headed to our room. The room was still empty and the lights were still not on. I thought Mas Eagle was in the room. "Where is the Eagle, this late tumben hasn't come home yet?" My heart was wondering and agitated.

Since my drowsiness had not yet appeared, I went down the stairs and headed for the kitchen. Taking a drink in the refrigerator, the kitchen atmosphere is quiet maybe Bi Narti and Bi Ijah have started to enter their respective rooms.

"Non Tone? What's Non, Non Nada need what can I get Bibi?" Bi Narti was suddenly already behind me startlingly.

"I took mineral water from the Bi refrigerator, this I have taken. I want to go back to my room!" I said as I left the kitchen and Bi Narti.

I went back to the room with mineral water in my hand and drank it up to the toilet. Just as I was sitting on the bed, the roar of Mas Eagle's car engine sounded. I stood up and peeked out from behind the curtains. Sure enough, Eagle. Mas Elang began to enter the house that Bi Narti welcomed. I went back to bed and fixed my body, I pretended to be asleep.

After opening his shirt Mas Eagle headed for Sya's room, I don't know what he was doing. Five minutes later Mas Eagle returned to our room and sat down on the edge of the bed right next to my body. Slowly Mas Eagle approached me, and the kiss felt on my forehead for so long. Mas Eagle kissed and hugged my body full of longing.

The bed swayed because of the movements of Mas Eagle, still bare-chested he hugged me tightly.

"Dear wake up dong....!" he said while disturbing my sleep who pretended to be asleep.

Because I feel the pangs because the hands of Mas Eagle rubbed my stomach, forced to sleep pretend I was knocked out. I pretended to have just woken up and was bothered by Mas Eagle.

"Mas... has gone home, the tumben came home very late?" my question was as if wriggling as if just woke up.

"Mas... weight, watch out first! Tone to wake up!" my whine is locked by Mas Eagle's embrace.

"Mas is so kangen tonight baby, it's been a month, hasn't it? The doctor said he could do it. Mas can not stand, has been fasting for more than a month," he whispered foggy passion while staring in.

With a single pull of the rope sleeping clothes I was wearing had decomposed and slipped off. I did not expect the return of Mas Elang this late even invited his long-buried desire to now rise again.

"Mas, no... The fear tone still hurts!" my prevent. The eagle kissed my half-open lips, without listening to me protesting.

"It's okay. The doctor says if it's been over a month, we can do it. I'm missing, baby....!" he said while launching a brutal action, he disarmed my defense. I was also lulled in the seduction of romance offered by Mas Elang.

.

"I love you baby, love you so much. Cupp....!" Back Mas Eagle launched a deadly seduction by anchoring his hot kiss that I finally returned.

"Mas..don't be rude, Nada is afraid of why-why with Tone's stomach!" my remembrance while receiving naughty touches from Mas Elang. We also dissolved in the charm that we both poured in the bonds of passion that roiled that night.

The hot activity ended, and we were both drowning. Mas Eagle looked very tired, wrapped his hands around my waist and fell asleep with a slightly noisy snoring. I can't fall asleep after the activity. I stared at the face of Mas Eagle who looked exhausted. Suddenly my tears were sad. Sad to remember my mother's treatment of me.

"Here his son beside me loves me wholeheartedly, yet there his mother hates me half to death" I whispered in my heart, shedding tears. Now I cry again remembering the hurtful words of my mother.

"Darling why are you.. are you crying?" Suddenly the Eagle woke up and hugged me from behind. I didn't answer, but my tears broke. The eagle was getting worried and feeling guilty.

"Darling.I'm sorry... It makes you sad....!" he said while drowning my face in his arms. If I may be honest, I want to say that I cried because I was hurt by the words of the mother who is now ringing back.

After my cry subsided, Mas Eagle slowly laid back my body beside him and hugged giving me comfort.