"I'm Tired, I Want to Give Up "

When the Eagle Gone

Suddenly, Mas Elang gathered and looked up to my face full of supplication.

"Honey.. Just listen to this once! Please go home with me today. I'm sorry for the mistake that always ignores your feelings. I'm sorry, yes!"

Just this time I heard Mas Eagle apologize for his mistake, and rest in front of me. This is the moment I have been waiting for. Wanted to see Mas Eagle apologize and realize his mistake. And this he had just done in the last seconds Mas Eagle was about to return to his hometown. Not that I am selfish, but my female side wants to be understood by a man named husband.

"Sorry note Mas Eagle, but Nada begs to allow Nada here for a few days. Tone for understanding Mas Elang." Mas Eagle was silent as if thinking, the look on his face was filled with sadness and disappointment. I could not bear to see it, but my little heart wanted to let Mas Eagle really whipped in order to better appreciate the feelings of the wife, not just good at persuading to come back and then the problem was over.

"OKs... Let you be here for a few days. To be honest, I'm not willing to leave you here." Finally Mas Elang gave his permission, even though I knew his heart was not willing.

"Thank you for understanding" I said, hugging the hand of Mas Elang. Mas Eagle stood up and then fixed the clothes attached to his body.

"Yes, we've been waiting for something. We check out now from the hotel," he said grudgingly and moved to clean his used clothes into a suitcase brought from home. I was confused by the meaning of Mas Eagle. That is, wait especially where?

"Why bengong, don't you want to stay a few more days here? I will take you to the house of Om Zainal and Aunt Mirna," said Mas Elang replied to my confusion earlier on the words of Mas Elang.

I stood up and prepared to follow Mas Elang leaving the hotel room, but a few seconds later there was a phone call coming into HP Mas Elang.

"Assalamu'alaikum, dear.ye Papa will be home soon." [Eagle's Head]

"Papa promised to take Mommy....!" [Yes] Sya's voice was heard clearly making my heart tremble, feeling guilty for a moment.

"Later Papa calls back, Papa is getting ready. Yeah, what do you want?" Mas Elang tried to shift his focus so as not to remember me Mother.

"Yes, want Mommy, Papa!" He sounded whining.

"Ok, it's been a while, baby. Papa's coming home soon." The phone was immediately closed, again Mas Eagle tried to shift his focus so as not to think about me. It is not wrong that the Eagle behaved that way, because I was the one who refused to come home.

The call from Syapun was immediately closed Mas Elang. Some felt heart-boosting, when Sya asked me as her gift. Pity suddenly appeared.

"Come on. I'll drive you home. And.. this save, you can use anything." Invite him with a suddenly flat attitude, while slipping an ATM card into my backpack.

"Bas....!" my broom.

Mas Eagle did not say anymore, he was busy stuffing his things into the suitcase, and did not give me the perfection to speak.

"How is it, he wants me. Do I have to go with the Eagle now or later? my inner.

I've been confused since I heard Sya on the phone wanting me to come home. What should I do, what should I do?

After checking out from the hotel, Mas Elang immediately ordered a grab and drove me to Aunt Mirna's house. Along the way not a word came out of our mouths. We are both silent with our thoughts.

Arrive at the house of Om Zainal and Aunt Mirna. Mas Eagle was immediately welcomed by Aunt Mirna, while Om Zainal was shopping for vegetables at the market. Mas Elang immediately said the intention of his arrival was to take me and leave me for a few days to stay here.

"I have Tone, Auntie. If Nada wants to go home, then I'll pick her up. I'm sorry if Nada while here is troublesome Auntie," said Mas Elang.

"Mas go first yes..keep yourself here. Don't take Aunt and Om." At once the last words of Mas Eagle made me very sad, like a thorn piercing into my chest, tight and sick. When he was about to reach the hand of Mas Eagle he had gone away and moved out of the house. The feeling of disappointment was clearly there.

"I'm saying goodbye to Auntie! Assalamu'alaikum!" repeat it along with the grab that came and Mas Eagle immediately rode it without waving back at me. Grabpun walk to Adisutjipto Airport, Yogyakarta. That's how I felt when Mas Eagle left, as well as the attitude of Mas Eagle who was cold when I refused to go home. Though at that time I wanted to scream come home, but my esophagus seemed to be choked.

As far as the Eagle goes, I went straight into the room and locked it. I was crying and I wanted to scream. "Eagle's mother brought Tone home....!" But I can only scream in my heart. While outside the room Aunt Mirna knocked on the door slowly calling my name and feeling worried, but I did not bother I was too disappointed with my own selfish attitude.

Hearing that Sya wanted me, I honestly wanted to come home and hoped that my hand would be pulled by Mas Eagle. But Mas Elang had already harbored a sense of disappointment with my rejection earlier, so he was cold and sad.

"I'm sorry Mother, forgive Nada Mas... Nada has become an unruly wife. It's obvious Nada loves you both." My cry broke behind the pillow and my regret suddenly appeared, why did not I force to come home with Mas Eagle. I'm really sorry, if I hadn't heard Sya talk like that, maybe I wasn't as sad and sorry.

Because so long crying, I feel tired and sleepy at last I fall asleep.

In the afternoon, I woke up from my sleep. The clock on the wall showed at 5 p.m. To my surprise, I slept for a long time. From this afternoon until 5 pm I just woke up. The door began to sound knocking. I slowly got up to the door. In front of the door, Dina was already standing with a plate of food.

Dina entered the room and placed a tray of rice and side dishes for me. "Sister.since we knocked on the door, Brother did not get up. Mama was worried. But Mama and Papa had gone to Angkringan, they told Dina to knock on the door of the room Brother so that Brother woke up and gave food, because they said Brother had not eaten from this morning." For a moment I was pensive and remembered the incident earlier after Mas Eagle left.

"Thank you very much, Din. Brother is awake. Sorry to have to take all of you. But before you eat, you go to the bathroom first. Want to wash your face and take ablution," I said interrupting while tiptoeing to the bathroom leaving Dina who was still in the room.

After the Asar prayer, I invited Dina to eat but it turned out that Dina had eaten, I finally ate alone in the room accompanied by Dina my cousin's spoiled sister to me.

"Sister... Is Brother not sick? Mama said she was worried about you, because you've been shutting yourself up since."

"Sister is fine. My sister was just sleepy. So his sleep is like a kebo." I gave a reason that is certainly not the real reason. I saw Dina nodding around trying to understand what I meant.

"Today, you don't have to go to Angkringan. Mama told me like that."

"Why....?"

"Because Mama said, Brother is sick."

"But my brother is not sick. Brother wants to angkringan not to mumet mind," I said half forcefully.

"In Brother's mind why the hell, Kak, how can mumet? Brother has a problem with brother's husband? You see Dina since Big Brother came here, Big Brother is like there is a problem. Dina continued to be surprised, if there is no problem no sister may leave her husband for a long time."

The words of Dina just now seemed to insinuate me, but I knew this ABG did not mean that, only her soul was thrashing. His mind had already thought a long way about marriage. Yesterday Dina asked about Mas Eagle was fierce or not, until she said she did not want to marry an adult man if fierce, it is better to marry the same age or in droves. Abused... Dina.

And this again, Dina could have suspected me, if there was no problem why did I leave it for so long? True what Dina said, my cousin who is still ABG is like watching the movements and gestures of my body. So he could tell I was having trouble. Haduhh... Dina is really a love detective.