It's Not You I Want

finally

"Azizahh" someone's gentle call made the flustered little girl turn her body, her eyes glazed over after seeing the soft-spoken lady.

"i-busy" the boy's feet were fluttering on the spot, what he was dreaming of, the woman he had only seen from the same short video, was now in front of his eyes, is he sleeping well now, if that's true he wishes no one would wake him up

"Azizah, mother's child, mother's child, mother's love, mother's beloved, mother's life, mother's world" Zaskia walked over, and, likewise with Azizah he ran and scattered into the arms of the woman he so desired to attend.

"ii-busy"

"yes son, this is mother" Zaskia tightly hugged the small body that she missed so much, the small body that she had left so easily because of disappointment in her husband, and worry...afraid that he could not take care of her, but fate said otherwise, Zaskia could survive until now.

the flashback

The day Zaskia was taken to the hospital for severe bleeding, after seeing her loving husband spend time with another woman, Zaskia was forced to give birth to her child at the age of seven months, to save his life and his son, Zaskia thought it was the end for him but in fact he could still survive, even more ill realizing he was struggling to give birth to his daughter alone without the presence of zidan at his side.

he had hoped that someday, he could hold the warm fingers of zidan while struggling in life and death while giving birth to their children, but in fact, he did not fight alone, he struggled alone, zidan prefers to go with other women.

zaskia's condition weakened after her child was born, but she was still conscious, as was the little Azizah, at that time the tiny baby Zaskia was forced to be treated intensively because of her condition which was born Not at the right time.

"please, I would like to see my daughter one last time, please let me meet her, even if it's just in front of her room"

"but mbak. mbak conditions are not possible"

"please, I'd like to see my son's face for the last time"

with Zaskia Nakes's compulsion to help Zaskia sit in a wheelchair, she pushed the wheelchair toward the baby's room.

from the outside, Zaskia could see the body of her small, weak baby in the tube.

her tears can not be weaved, the pain of a mother's feeling of seeing her child in a condition that is not good

"son mom, sorry mommy son, maybe this is the best for us, mom never meant to leave you, but we also have no destiny to be together, baby. mom loves zizah as sincere as mom, mom wants to bring zizah with mom, but mom is afraid, afraid mom can not be there for zizah, zizah same father aja son, son, you can't stay with you anymore, too sick to see your father who is wishing you love, baby. Hopefully one day you don't hate you because of this difficult decision, son"

Zaskia rubbed her face, from the reflection of the mirror she could see her face was pale eloquent, her eyes were reddened. Her condition was really bad now, there was nothing she had to complain about other than her god.

Zaskia returned to her room, grabbed her flat object, looked for her husband's phone number, many times she called Zidan but the man did not pick up the phone.

the corner of Zaskia's lips lifted, the pull of a painful smile clearly drawn on that shady face.

"so insignificant am I in your life, zii, I just escaped our son, I wish you were by my side, accompanying me in my difficult time, but you prefer him over me, I understand now where I am in your heart, I also understand now, why you hate me so much, why you hate me so much, all that is not just your disappointment in me, but also because of her. the brownish bead was back in the river considering Zidan's betrayal of him.

in the end Zaskia could only give a voice message to zidan.

Zaskia had also given a message to the nurse or the nakes who handled it not to tell her whereabouts to the zidan after the man came, Zaskia's decision was unanimous, he relented from the woman, he succumbed, he chose to retreat rather than continue to endure the pain that zidan gave him, he relinquished the man he loved with other women than with himself, Zaskia was self-conscious of his position, Zaskia, he realized maybe his life would only be a burden for Zidan.

a few minutes after Zaskia sent the message, Zidan came with his worried face looking for the whereabouts of Zaskia, the woman he no longer found present, the nurse only showed her son's room but not with Zaskia's room, Zaskia is still being treated in the same hospital as her son.

from a distance Zaskia could see Zidan and his family, waiting for Azizah's condition to improve. Zaskia also did not turn her eyes to the handsome man who looked fragile there, the man who always stood upright was so devastated by his departure.

"sorry I'm zi, I love you and will always love you, I just can't continue to be by your side, I thought I'd be strong love with him but in fact I'm not that strong zi, sorry I ya, I tipped our child" said Zaskia from a distance"

zaskia's condition has not fully recovered, but she has taken care of the letter to be able to go home today, there is no reason for Zaskia to remain there, there is a heart that is getting sicker to see the zidan every day, Zaskia also has no fees to pay for her treatment.

Zaskia really went from the life of zidan, he sold wedding rings to survive.

...

Zaskia had been in and around looking for work but she had trouble because there was no support file for her, finally Zaskia worked in one of the restaurants as a dishwasher there, zaskia's day was up to survive and worship.

come where there is one funny incident in the midst of the difficulties of life problems that the woman was facing, that day she was not working, she was not working, Zaskia spent time in one of the places that could help ease the burden of life a little, Zaskia stood on the edge of the cliff, looking over the lush trees, and looking out over the trees, perhaps because someone thought Zaskia wanted to kill herself, her wrists were forced to pull away from the cliff.

"dead will not solve the problem of life mbak" a heavy voice, the owner of someone who pulled his arm earlier, the wrist that was still in the strong Cengkareng the man, on the rough edge of Zaskia

"already in help, instead of thank you even nagging unclear"

" I'm sorry, as hard as my life's problems are, I don't mean to end my life as silly as that"

"not that thank you even nagged"

Zaskia left the man with a feeling of annoyance.

...

whether there was always a word of coincidence in Zaskia's life, he tried his luck again in one of the companies, and it turns out that the owner of the company was a man who thought he wanted to commit suicide.

the man still thinks Zaskia is trying to end his life because of frustration, one of the reasons is because of difficulty finding a job, because he felt compassion for Zaskia, the man named Rafa received Zaskia as his personal secretary.

only limited to superiors and subordinates, arrived one day Rafa brought his son to work, Rafa's son who may now be the same age as Azizah was whining at Zaskia asked in a carry.

"how old is sir"

"3 years"

"mashallah, the same age as my Azizah apparently" inner Zaskia, smiled happily.

"my son is comfortable in your arms Ki"

"the comfort of my sling, the more comfortable the sling of his mother sir"

"Azzam never felt a sling from his mother Ki" Rafa bowed weakly

"my wife died shortly after giving birth to Azzam "

"inalillahi, I'm sorry sir, I don't mean to make you sad"

"it turns out his fate is the same as mine"

"it doesn't matter Ki"

salain became a secretary of Rafa, Zaskia also took care of Azzam, the boy was so calm If it had been near Zaskia, The more days their relationship was getting closer.

Zaskia and Rafa already look like a happy little family.

when Zaskia's condition had a drastic decrease, her head throbbed while preparing for Rafa's presentation.

Rafa who was worried to meet Zaskia in his room, surprised Rafa saw the condition of Zaskia, from his nose was flowing fresh blood, his face pale eloquent

"Ki, you why" so worried Rafa about Zaskia's state

"i'm not papa sir"

"no papa what, your nose is bleeding _

"i'm not papa sir, i-this is the file that you asked for" said Zaskia terbatata, his consciousness is lost, Zaskia fainted

Rafa, who has been confused by reflexes, holds Zaskia's body to be taken to the hospital, the most surprising thing , only then did he know it turned out that the woman who always looked tough in front of him was very sick.

unbeknownst to Zaskia, Rafa signs a letter of approval for the operation.

"i won't tell my dark child's future mother why" said Rafa beside Zaskia.

^^^^^You are on board which ship is the niyh, the Zidan DNA Zaskia or Zaskia and Rafa hehehehe