It's Not You I Want

Daffa Slap

..."Love is still there, it will never be lost, but the pain is still there and the same will never be lost"...

Zila tried hard to hold back the tightness in her heart, as the memory of Daffa's rejection twisted clearly in her head

The flashback

zila guess after her marriage her life will change a lot it turns out her life is still the same, even zila feels no husband.

"Today my friend's friend wants to go home, you don't have to go out of the room, don't show your nose to them"

Daffa sat in the guest chair after storing the book into a shelf he had just finished reading

Zila just nodded, and passed from there, don't ask how hurt her heart is now, how daffa said it, what zila was crying, no, no , zila was not a whiny woman who was snapped at a cry, whenever Daffa said something hurtful, she preferred to go into the room to calm down.

now that it was 1 in the morning, daffa and his friend were still joking in the living room, the zila who had just fallen asleep woke up again shocked to hear their laughter.

Zila was really bothered by the commotion that occurred below, whether what Daffa and his friends did, laughter rang throughout the room. Wanting to feel zila down and cursing them, his sleep was disturbed but zila was self-conscious, what right did he have in Daffa house, wife? , zila smiled bitterly considering his position in Daffa house.

Zila was sleepy, zila was tired, zila was already closing her ears but useless, the noise below was still clearly heard in zila's ears.

ok now zila has lost her patience, in achieved hijab syar'i which potent cover almost part of her body, the, with emotions that had exploded zila out and slammed the door of the room until the laughter that had been heard disappeared immediately. zila down, his gaze collided with Daffa, Daffa, Zila turned to look at Daffa's friend who was staring at her with a bad look.

zila undoes her intentions, zila returns to the room without saying a word.

Under , Daffa feels bad with his friend, They say goodbye to go home , because it feels bad to disturb zila , Daffa had tried to hold them back from going home and ignoring the zila but they kept coming home because they were self-aware, they should not still be visiting someone's house until 1 am.

"Look easy"

"Ga yummy daf, bini Lo fierce" Ejek Adam

"Gw didn't think that Khaira could be angry too" now Erik who opened his voice, while busy stuffing his belongings into the bag

"You're back"

"yes, our man was kicked out earlier ama bini Lo"

Actually adam was just joking with his words where he knew his words were increasingly igniting Daffa emotions.

"until in sorry we go to bini Lo ya daf, we go home first"

"Assalamualaikum" said Adam and Erik Simultaneously, Daffa closed the door of the house after the backs of his two friends were not seen again.

his face was red, his hands were clenched, if one could see perhaps, there were already horns on his head ready to butcher the person in front of him, do not forget the smoke steaming out of his two ears.

With big emotional steps, Daffa walked through the stairs by stairs, impatiently giving all the curses to the zila, because he had dared to expel his best friend.

Without knocking, Daffa opened the door of the zila room.

BRAKKS

there was a slamming door because of the act of Daffa, zila who was curled up on the mattress aghast and changed his position facing Daffa, zila knew the risk of his disrespectful treatment earlier, zila admitted that she did something wrong and Zila was ready to get scorned by Daffa .

Daffa stepped closer to zila.

PLAQUES

one slap landed smoothly on the zila cheek, a hard Daffa slap was able to make the small body of the zila again lie on the bed in a sitting position, the zila was still digesting what had just happened, she said, zila held onto her cheeks that were starting to heat up, zila could feel fishy at the corners of her lips, huh!! the corner of the lips of the bloody zila due to the slap of Daffa, with the same position, the zila was unable to lift his face because now his tears could not be held anymore, he said, zila only listened to all the swearings that Daffa had said to her

Zila was prepared with Daffa's harsh words but honestly__ zila never expected Daffa to firmly raise his hand to her cheek.

"LUCKY TEACHING LO, WHAT RIGHT DO YOU THROW AWAY FRIENDS GW KAYA EARLIER HA"

Daffa rubbed his face rough before continuing his words

"DON'T YOU HAVE POWER LO, THIS IS GW'S HOUSE, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BRING ALL MY FRIENDS HERE UNTIL ANY HOUR I WANT"

"LO HAS NO RIGHTS AT ALL IN GW'S HOUSE, ONCE AGAIN LO WAS IMPERTINENT, LIFT YOUR FEET FROM GW'S HOUSE"

"GW SICK OF LO, GW EXPECTS LO TO GO AWAY FROM GW'S LIFE, GO LO, GW HATES WITH SOK LUGU LO'S LOOKS"

"AKKHHH "Daffa groans with frustration, rubbing his face rough, passing away from zila.

Brakkk

the door was slammed firmly by Daffa, Zila came down with her hands still holding her left cheek towards the door, in her key the door of her room, zila again sat on the edge of the mattress, staring blankly at the wall, and she was looking at the door, without the stuffing of zila cheeks back wet because of her tears, Until now the zila brain still does not believe what just happened.zila hopes everything is just a dream, Daffa is not possible to play hands like that, but unfortunately everything is disputed because zila felt a pain in her cheek.

Zila went into his bathroom, took ablution water to perform tahajud prayers, that way zila was able to calm his heart and forgive Daffa's actions to him.

when he finished praying tahajud zila looked up at his hands, all his complaints he spilled on the khalik, all the deeds of Daffa that he worshipped himself could only be told to his Lord, shed tears of zila, shed tears, Not to forget zila always begged for mercy for her husband, begging to open the door of her husband's heart to be willing to accept her.

zila continued reading the Qur'an, and went back to sleep at 3am.

the flashback

"I'm sorry, because I'm living a suffering life, if I knew that time I refused to be in a match, right, I'd cancel our parents' plans"

"because of love to mas , I became blind, I only attach importance to my feelings , without knowing mas so hurt"

zila spoke as softly as possible before Daffa.

"i know the attitude of the mas that changed late this Just because of our son right, if he did not there me where can look at the handsome face of a rich gini mas, gini, the face I always looked at was silent at school"

"Mas, I promise after our son is born I will accept all the decisions of the mas, I will not make the mas to survive with me, I will not be a passenger on the goldfish, I will not be a passenger on the goldfish, I'll also stop at the stop after her, I don't want to see you suffer anymore if I'm still on the gold boat"

Zila violently wiped her tears

"I should have been self-conscious after the mas slap landed on my cheek, but because of my ego and Without knowing the shame, I still survived in the mas house"

"indeed, love blinds everything" Zila smiled wryly.

"And I know I will never be able to replace the place where Zahra mbak to any time in the heart of the mas, mbak Zahra perfect woman, I am a woman who was amazed by her, mbak Zahra beautiful, mbak, broad-minded, smart, sociable, not rich I'm afraid to socialize"

"i promise after our son is born, I'll go away from life like what I asked for first"

"but I'm sorry, don't force me not to love you anymore, I can't force my feelings to forget you, even if later we're not the same again , daffa will remain my first and last love"

"i love you because of God"

prangs

the sound of a broken object stopped the zila's speech

"Bang Zidan"

Zila snatched his instant hijab, and came out making sure that Brother was also his good wife,

Daffa who was thought to be sleeping, opened his reddened eyes to hold back his tears, yes the man did not sleep at all,.Daffa knew Zila would not want to tell him , eat him Daffa pretend to sleep, and sure enough zila told him everything, telling him how evil Daffa was

And it could be that zila instead blamed himself for the actions of Daffa who did not accept his destiny.

Want it feels like daffa hugged the body of zila while still telling Daffa can no longer hear the zila blame himself, it's all wrong zila is not wrong , Daffa who does not want to accept the destiny that has been set for him

But Daffa could not, his heart was sliced to hear the words of zila, his eyes were heating up, tears were already abundant at the end of his eyes that were ready to come out at any time

"zila" said Daffa quietly

"I'm sorry for Zil"

"Now I understand why I can't get your trust again, so evil mas to incise trauma too deep , but when I promise you won't let you go again, we will sail the ship together and the mas who became the captain of you and our children became his passengers" Daffa Monologue

at the same time Zila knocked on Zidan's room, wanting to make sure his brother and Kaka-in-law were not papa

"What's the matter" Shouted zila from outside

"Ga papa de, this is the urn in the guest room you are afraid of, Brother sorry yes"

"yes bang do not need to think about the urn, you are not hurt"

"engga deck, you go up this kiya again finish the shards"

"heart, zila, go up first"

"yes deck"

But zila is not an innocent woman, zila remembers very well the urn is located in the corner of the room, even zila put it directly on the floor, if even just the nudity will not be as loud, it will not be as loud, but different again if the urn is in a high place

no not mind zila has floated everywhere, zila shook her head, and tried to believe what Zidan said earlier, if the urn kesenggol__ yes only kesengol.