It's Not You I Want

Hemorrhaging

..."I'm just afraid that your presence is just an illusion"...

"So you're home when"

"Ga tau"

"you know what, which is clear if you chat let me pick you up"

"Maybe until I give birth, or maybe I won't go home again"

"Don't be careless when you talk"

"Loh, instead of you also want this, why now even as if what I'm doing is wrong, with like this__we don't have to see each other again"

The two sat on the edge of the bed, and stared at each other, zila looked at Daffa with a look of wonder while Daffa looked at him zila in front of a difficult gaze to understand.

"i don't want you here much longer"

zila begins to have the most difficult emotions, but Zila is still trying to hold her back, fearing that if the emotion explodes her parents will know the true condition of their household

"You don't be selfish dong, I go home to calm down, I'm tired of constantly bickering every day, I'm tired, I need calm, but you're coming after me instead, what you really want"

Not directly answering__Daffa just stared fixedly at the face of the zila, Daffa could see how tired this woman before him was, tired of all the lies of their House

Daffa looked down for a moment, staring at the zila-flagged fingers that no longer had wedding rings on his ring finger.

"Since when did you take it off"

"Regarding what, don't divert the conversation"

"our wedding ring"

Finally zila understood where Daffa spoke, zila also bowed to look at her ring finger that had been empty for some time, but the man in front of her only realized the void__now, a glance zila smiled at Daffa , more precisely smile.

"It's not better like this" Zila smiled as she looked at her pale white finger

"Better on the loose if the win is not desired" continued zila

"i don't like you taking it off"

"i'm confused__you want this what the hell, since the beginning___You never wear your ring, Now you get angry when I follow what you do, what the hell you really want"

"I want you to stay by my side"

"Don't say anything that doesn't fit your heart"

"I really mean it"

" Ayyh__iya I understand, you don't have to worry I won't separate you from him"

zila said as she looked at her stomach, her hands were also stretched out to gently stroke the distended stomach behind the clothes she was wearing

"I will not separate my son from his father, you can meet him whenever you want" continued Zila

"STOP IS TALKING ABOUT FAREWELL"

fortunately the zila parents were not at home, Daffa screams might be heard from outside even though the zila room was soundproof, zila even gasped to hear the clash of Daffa

"Why do you keep yelling at me, I have something wrong with you, I've tried to leave so as not to have another fight between us , but you're coming back with your explosive emotions"

zila's eyes began to glaze over, her heart actually hurt every time Daffa raised the Voice in front of her, zila had been just pretending to be tough with all Daffa's rude attitude

"Sorry, I didn't mean to"

zila stood up intending to end the conversation that always ended in a fight.

But Daffa quickly held him back, Daffa flipped the zila's small body to face him, Daffa pulled the zila into his arms.

zila menganga__ do not believe in the actions of Daffa, zila's body seemed to freeze in place, Hard to respond because everything happened arrived Arrived

daffa's hand raised rubbed softly zila hair, until finally the zila began to awaken and try to escape from Daffa's embrace

"I'm sorry Zil"

Zila continued to try to push Daffa's body away from him but whatever little force of zila's body was unable to resist Daffa's burly body

"sorry"

only the apology continued to come out of the mouth of daffa. zila eventually resigned in Daffa, did not return the arms of Daffa__ even though the heartbeat began to be abnormal, perhaps Daffa could also feel how fast the zila heart was beating, because the zila could also feel the heartbeat of Daffa exceed that of a normal human heart

.....

zila sat staring at the tv with a black screen in front of her. Zila still could not believe the incident just a moment ago, where Daffa pulled her into his arms.

It's hard to understand Daffa's late attitude, sometimes he's quiet, cold as usual, sometimes he's attentive, yes, although Zila is aware all that attention is only for her child . But that incident__zila didn't expect it to happen,

"Don't daydream, it's not good most pregnant women daydream"

zila awakens from her daydream to hear Farah's voice

Farah came with a plate of zila's favorite chocolate cake, behind her father's__Ali carrying a tray containing tea on it.

"call your husband son"

"yes Bun"

zila stood up to call Daffa, but it turned out that Daffa had already descended and joined them

"Here we have tea with us" Farah asked, Daffa nodded and sat right next to the zila, while Farah and Ali sat on the sofa beside them.

zila took one piece of her favorite chocolate cake, zila looks very enjoy the cake made by Farah because it has long been zila wanted to eat the cake made by her mother, who since childhood became her favorite

After one piece of cake, zila again took one piece of cake

"slow down to eat it" said Farah, afraid of zila choking, but zila was not a child anymore, so in the zila menu in her family

"Enak Bun, zila likes it"

"yesa dear eat a lot, but slowly plan___later choke Lo"

"Then Lo saw Daffa continue" Ali did like to tease his favorite daughter. Ali likes to see zila upset

zila, who was still focused on her food, turned her eyes towards Daffa and their gazes met quickly Zila turned her eyes back in the other direction.

"What the hell yaah" upset zila and put back her cake on the plate

" Ayaaah" said Farah

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm joking, baby, eat some more dong cake"

"lazy is not in the mood" zila folded her arms over her chest leaning her back on the back of the sofa

"Dad the hell" complained Farah

Daffa who had only listened, pointed his hand which held a piece of cake towards the zila

"Eat if you like"

zila did not respond

Daffa drew the cake he held toward the mouth of the zila

"Son, it's Dafa to bribe you dear "

zila stared at the Daffa bead that had been staring at her since, inevitably opening her mouth so that Daffa could bribe her

"Don't be like this" whispered the zila in Daffa's ear

Zila just did not want her parents to issue another question that she could not explain and ended up with a lie again, seeing her household with Daffa that looks harmonious in fact very sad.

zila took another cake so that Dafa would not have to feed her again.

"cie cie nobody's shy niyh"

"ayahh" was upset because his father kept mocking

Ali smiled mischievously, Farah hit Ali's arm slowly because of his level

daffa was quietly occupied with his thoughts

the flashback

"Mas__zila has cooked dinner, get off yo we eat first"

Zila was still knocking on the door of Daffa's room repeatedly but there was no word from within.

"Mass"

again zila must accept the fact if Until anytime__Daffa will not want to eat his cooking

Zila's eyes began to glaze over but Zila quickly stared at the sky of the house, so that her tears that were already in the eye pelukan did not come out.

zila's speech was cut off because the daffa suddenly opened the door of his room

"eat Yo mas, zila's ready for dinner"

No matter, Daffa preferred to walk through the zila, in neat clothes whether to go where the man was tonight like this

"go where you are"

asked zila, but there was no answer, zila continued to pursue Daffa until it reached the last 4 steps, the zila footing was not perfect and made her fall. although there were 4 steps left, 4 steps left , but for the zila it was very painful, her back hit firmly on the rungs of the stairs

"Oh, God is sick"

lamented zila while holding his back that felt crumpled, while Daffa did not care at all, seeing the zila who stood the tribulation Daffa preferred to leave without any intention of helping

"Astagfirullah mas"

"father"he Zila's lyrics endured the pain, both sick from falling from the stairs, also sick from Daffa's attitude.

The pain in zila's back has not subsided, even sleeping zila distress, maybe the back is bruised, zila grabbed her phone on the nightstand Intending to call Daffa.

one call has no answer

the second call still has no answer

call the third, there is no answer

"mas lift dong__ya Allah"

"loo ko ga can't , what's my number on the block yaa"

"astaghfirullah mas, so disturbing to me in life mas, I'm in pain mas, I need help"

"How great are you"

because Daffa had blocked his number__ zila finally called Hana His best friend there was no other choice zila could not afford to go to the hospital by herself.

long wait finally Hana came, with difficulty zila stood up from her seat, to open the door

"zila, Lo why"

Hana denied zila standing up

"I'm going to Han's hospital"

"Lo why, Lo's sick"

"that's when I fell down the stairs"

"Jeez Zil, come on, let's slow down"

At the zila hospital immediately checked, the shave had no serious illness, after being given zila drugs allowed to go home.

in the car Hana__ zila held tightness in her heart, zila also only remained silent after they got into the car

"Lo ko can fall Zil" Hana broke the silence between them

"how else is Han's destiny"

"iss, not funny Zil, danger Lo"

"gw heartless fitting the way"

"mana Lo husband"

"Daffa came out earlier__wherever"

"gw was very worried to see Lo nahan pain fortunately just bruised"

"hemm"

since then zila never again contact Daffa, do not ask__Daffa maybe since the beginning he never saved zila mobile number, and call history may be deleted immediately after zila call her.

zila also changed her card, for some reason it is certain that if zila continues to use the same mobile number, the pain of Daffa not picking up the phone on the day zila really needs help , keep turning around in his head.

the flashback

"Zila let's go home with me tomorrow"

"zila, I know you haven't slept"

"Zilla"

"i still want to be here, you can go home first, later I can go home alone or ask between fathers"

answer the zila with the position of turning his back to Daffa

Daffa finally resigned until whenever Daffa asked zila to come home the woman would not want to come with him.

"You want to get home from me"

"I can ask you to "

Daffa again had to take a rough breath, wanting the man to vent his emotions

"I'm your husband Zil, I still have , I can still pick you up, why it's so hard to make you understand Zil"

"I don't know how to tell you, 2 years we were married I don't know my own husband's phone number is not"

deg

What zila said is true, until now it was not just Daffa who did not have his mobile number__ but zila as well, not unnecessarily, zila once kept a Daffa number that she considered an important person in her life, but past events have quite answered why she no longer has a Daffa phone number

"Funny if I ask you to help me ngabarin you"

"Well, let me keep my number there"

"Ga nah"

"you want what the hell it is"

Daffa who had been lying next to the zila was now sitting cross-legged

"I want to sleep tired"

"Zila, you don't be rude to me, I'm your husband"

" o Allah when everything is finished I am tired" Lirih Zila but can be heard clearly by Daffa

"zilla"

zila finally rose from her sleep, standing in a position staring at Daffa full of hatred

"Ok now don't have to be long-winded, let's make things clear, it seems you forgot the day where I really needed your help"

"i fall in a sitting position, you see with both your eyes when I fall, or your eyes are also already blind just like your heart. I endure pain, what you do huh, what, you don't care at all about me"

"Gw fell just for chasing a man who does not have a heart, I have good intentions, I just nawarin Lo eat, but what, Lo breezed away so aja, Lo, no matter what I'm holding back the pain in the back.

"Oh Allah Daffa I was sick that day, my back was crushed, I needed help Lo , I needed Lo , to get me to the hospital "

ok now don't blame the zila, Daffa who provoked the zila emotions first

"Once I called Lo, and not once did Lo pick up my call, so annoying in the life of Lo__ hah"

" It does not stop there Lo blocked the number gw , I call Lo just want to ask for help Lo, do not need Lo come as my husband, Iw, lo's origin there's a little humanity for nolongin gw"

"but what 'bout, Lo blocked my number"

"O Allah, Daffa, you know how sick I was that day, not just my physical feelings I also had Daffa"

"So now I hope you understand"

"And please stop pretending to care about me"

Daffa was just silent, Daffa understood now, indeed all his fault, daffa did not deny any facts, Daffa just wanted to repair the household that he had damaged in the first place, but Daffa always gets rejected from zila, maybe because of the wrong way. Every time they start something, it ends with a fight

"You're why Zil" Daffa could see the grimacing zila holding back the pain, Daffa wanted to get down near the zila but quickly Zila signaled with her hand not to get close

"akhs"

"yes, mother"

"Zil, you're why"

zila held onto her stomach, her stomach hurt___

Daffa fiddled his eyes seeing blood begin to flow into the soles of the zila's feet

..."zila you're bleeding"...