It's Not You I Want

Raka's Attention

"I'm starting work again today"

Daffa put the spoon back on the plate loud enough to hear a squeaking sound between the two. Zila knew Daffa would not agree with her decision but zila did not care and would still work in Raka's office.

"Ziil"

zila was indifferent and remained down eating her breakfast

"Zila, look at me when I'm talking"

"Why" replied zila

"Ga do work, I can still make a living for you "Daffa try as gently as possible, hoping zila can understand the maximal good

"sorry, but I'm going to keep working, not you yourself saying I can do anything as long as it doesn't interfere with your life"

"Zil, I told you we started all over again, I'm sorry for all my treatment, please stop discussing the past"

Daffa spoke softly, but there was emphasis in every word.

Daffa brushed his hair, his appetite was gone, arguing about the work with the zila would never end, He grabbed his briefcase, his doctor's suit, too, Rather than her emotions being ignited, Daffa prefers to leave

"I go first, assalamualaikum"

"Korasoallam"

..."sorry not maxut zila wants to be a wife ungodly by carrying your orders mas, zila is just afraid, afraid of the attitude of the mas who turned soft The end of this is back to pay as it used to be, zila does not want to be too soluble in zila feelings, zila is afraid of mas, zila is just trying to position themselves zila in the life of mas as it should be, zila only prepare themselves if the mas back indifferent with zila"...

the flashback

Zila sat on the living room couch, waiting for Daffa to come home from work, they lived on one roof but the zila struggled just to get along with Daffa, Moreover, having to sit together in the yard of the house various stories about the busyness of each, while enjoying green tea with a plate of pastries on the table.

Long wait, Daffa finally came home, zila intended to greet Daffa's hand but in the undo, the hand that had been raised zila Lower back.

"Mas, zila can talk for a second"

Daffa was indifferent and continued to step towards the kitchen, zila knew her husband wanted to drink, zila poured water into the glass and she gave it to Daffa, daffa stared at zila for a moment and gulped down the water.

after his Daffa continued his steps to the second floor , regardless of the zila behind.

"Mas, zila's gonna talk to you for a second"

"Maas" zila ventured to hold Daffa's arm but was held strong by Daffa, but Zila was jolted with Daffa's harsh treatment

"Sorry, zila just wants to"

Dwaars

the sound of the door being slammed strongly by Daffa,

Zila smiled bitterly

"mas, zila just want to ask permission to doang work, O Allah mas, mas said zila can do whatever zila wants, please, but zila is afraid that Allah does not respect every step that zila uses to work, if zila has not asked for permission directly the same mas"

There was 15 minutes of zila waiting for Daffa to come out of his room but the man also did not show his nose.

Zila finally gave up and went inside her room

the next day the zila was tidy with her clothes, today the first day the zila returned to work after a year of stopping.

Zila can't wait to start her busy life again, while at home, zila is just busy with homework, cooking that is never appreciated Daffa, zila like living alone in Daffa's apartment ,

Obviously the zila who is usually busy with his work in the office must spend his time at home alone, zila has Daffa whose status is her husband, yes only status !! in fact, Daffa never cared about zila, so zila wanted to return with his busyness so that his mind did not continue to think about Daffa.

"Mas, let's talk for a second"

this time Daffa said, his feet stopped at the door, his body still turned against the zila

"Mas, zila permit yes from today zila enter work again"

"As far as you__ I don't care"

Zila smiled, heartache was obvious!!, but zila already knew what Daffa's reaction was, but zila a wife, zila felt she needed Daffa's permission before she started working to get her job done.

"Thank you mas"

Daffa opened the door and walked

just like that.

"at least Zila has already told you"

flashback.

With the heart of zila riding his favorite motorcycle, it only takes 10 minutes at medium speed, zila has arrived in front of the office.

zila parked her motorcycle and took off her helmet and placed it on the rearview mirror.

Zila Merapi is a hijab that is a little messy because of the helmet.

many other employees who pass by greet each other, zila was not noticed Moreover, this is the first day of zila entered work after a month of rest.

"Gw I don't think you're working anymore, Zil"

zila Just smiled in response to a coworker's question.

"zilla"

zila and some employees looked back, it turned out that it was Raka their boss, the other employees had already left first after greeting Raka, because zila was called , zila remained standing in the place waiting for Raka.

"Yes sir, what's wrong"

"Ga papa, you sure want to work in a pregnant condition like this"

"Yes sir, if I'm not sure, I won't be in front of my father right now"

"what is your husband, does he allow it"

zila nodded briefly, and walked first

"You want , you can rest, after giving birth you can go back to work"

"i'm sure, after the age of 8 months, maybe I will just apply for leave, ga papa right sir"

"It's already your decision, meaning you already have a plan for the future"

"Thank you sir"

Raka smiled, and the two walked side by side with a considerable distance, zila knew her limits as a woman, Moreover she was married, in addition to the news of the bird about Raka who might keep a taste for her ,it's been all over the office.

Zila just does not want her relationship with Raka to be Awkward Because of the gossip, as much as possible zila keep her attitude as if she had never heard the news of the bird about Raka's feelings for her, as much as possible, always keeping the limits.

....

"Lo ride the Zil motorbike"

"hemm" replied zila modestly and still focused on her computer screen

"Why don't you ask for Daffa anyway"

"Ga can he be busy"

"Busy, busy, it keeps the reason , the danger of Zil riding a motorcycle again pregnant"

As worried as Hana with the state of zila, hana is very fond of zila, they are the same age but Hana treats zila like her own sister.

Hana is also the only friend who zila believes from the past until now.

"Ok, I'll take a taxi tomorrow"

"yes, you don't take a taxi too, I'm going to ask Daffa to nganter Lo to the office"

" it can't be han, I'm busy"

"start tomorrow I'll pick up Lo deyh's shuttle"

"Ga got to, Lu who's hassled later"

"gw ga ngerasa in repotin ko"

"yes, I'm not that good"

"yes, Zil you rich new people know me"

'do it, my dear friend, daftar I ask Daffa nganter deh"

"alum you ya, until tomorrow come to the office riding a motorbike"

"yamaaaa"

Zila rests her back on the back of her chair, Hana adds to the burden of her mind, her best friend's intentions are good, but how , if zila could tell the state of her household it might be easy to make Hana understand , but for zila to tell her household problems is a abstinence thing to do.

Although Daffa has said he wants to change everything, starting everything from scratch with him but for the zila it is just a false promise Daffa will not be able to start everything from scratch without love for him, for zila everything is in vain better their households walk as usual.like a floating ship without knowing where the captain will take.

.........