It's Not You I Want

The shadow of Zahra

"melba"

"daffa"

"why" answered Daffa, in the same position since the return of his friends and friends, sitting on a sofa, staring at the tv with a black screen in front of him.

"let's sleep, it's late and good to stay up"

"you go first, and then you go"

zila nodded, leaving behind Daffa who was still sitting daydreaming in the living room

in room 1, the zila who had been trying to sleep until the hour hand showed that at 12 pm she was not sleeping, her mind was full of Daffa and Zahra, and she was full of sleep, until now Daffa did not also enter the room, but zila knew the man was not at home, because a few minutes ago zila heard the sound of a door squeak.

zila finally fell asleep for a while but woke up again, because her mind was not also calm, Zila chose to wake up to calm her mind by performing tahajud prayers, finished taking ablution, zila did prayers, and did not do so, finished praying zila prayers for her family, zila also took the Qur'an, read the Qur'an _ is really able to make her heart calm, in the middle of her reading the door of the room is open, and the, zila remained in her position sitting with the Qur'an in her hand, without wanting to make sure that the one who entered was Daffa , let's sayapa again if not Daffa.

Daffa did not lie down immediately, but Daffa waited for the Zila to finish teaching.

zila was finally finished, Daffa who knew his wife was having trouble standing up swiftly helped zila stand up. finished cleaning his worship equipment__ zila sat next to Daffa who looked random chatter no matter what the man had gone through

zila's outstretched hand tidied Daffa's hair using his lentic finger.

"From where" asked the gentle zila

not answering , Daffa instead hugged his wife's body tightly. zila rubbed Daffa's back, she knew her husband's feelings now, seeing the condition of the daffa now made the zila's heart sliced, the man was still confused by his own feelings, he said, zila's decision is correct __by inviting Zahra to his house, if Zahra does not come to his house then zila will continue to dissolve in the sweet word Daffa, as if Daffa really has forgotten Zahra but in fact just a lie.

"Why not yet asleep" Daffa let go of his embrace

"you can't sleep, there's no you, I've said I'm used to you standing next to me"

"I'm sorry, make you wait a long time"

"hemm, let's go to bed"

.....

Lying if zila is fine, in the deck of daffa zila still can not sleep, his mind is as confused as Daffa, Daffa, if Daffa is confused by his feelings for Zahra if Zila is busy with his thoughts __ about what he should choose later whether to stay with Daffa or split up and mengikhlaskan Daffa with Zahra.

zila was eager to return the daffa's embrace, zila wanted to find calm in the daffa's embrace, but her large belly did not allow for zila, sleeping on her side facing Daffa.

Zila just tilted her head in order to stare at Daffa, zila gently rubbed Daffa's face

"gold, it's so hard for Zahra's lupain, I have to what so you can accept me as sincere as my heart mas, I'm tired mas , I'm , our household continues in the shadow of your past."

"i just don't have a past, because it's just you, I'm really happy, how dong I'm already in love"

zila wiped her tears

"Liat you look at Zahra's mother earlier to make my heart ache, yes I deliberately ngundang Zahra to the house, let me know your feelings to him have changed or still the same, it was still the same"

"i know you haven't slept yet"

yaps right __Daffa did not sleep, since he had heard the grievance of zila, as well as zila, the woman knew her husband had not slept, zila was tired of harboring his feelings continuously.

"mas we split up Yo"

Daffa opened his eyes, red eyes glazed over his wife's words.

"what the hell are you talking about"

"ga, until whenever I'm not going to want to split with you" Daffa tightened his arms, his legs locking the zila movement

"i'm sorry, but I always try to make Zahra forget, but I can't"

"that's why we split up, you can live happily with Zahra, if I'm going to live alone until I want to pick you up, because there's only you in my heart there's no other"

"STOP TALKING FAREWELL, WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO DO TO STOP ASKING FOR SEPARATION"

Daffa subconsciously raised his voice again,

"ma _ _ sorry Zil , mas ganinta"

zila smiled bitterly, snapping Daffa back he got

"if you're with Zahra, I'm sure you won't be able to make him yell rich you're always yelling at me, because you won't have the heart to hurt, the woman you love"

"yes, mas"

Silent __daffa did not answer, Daffa only tightened his embrace, as if afraid of the woman in his arms leaving.

"why silence, I'm right"

"You're also never gonna slap her face, like you did to me before, but parting is the best option for us, you don't have to keep going__"

zila speech stopped daffa changed position so overlapping the zila body, zila eyes perfectly patterned to see Daffa who had been staring at him with anger.

Daffa clasped both zila's wrists, and,

"daf, what are you doing down, you're hitting my stomach daf"

Daffa tidka down still with his position but slightly raised his body so as not to hit his wife's stomach, Daffa tilted his head his face increasingly down to the intersection of the zila neck.

"Stop asking to separate with mas Zil" whispered Daffa in the ear of zila, his heavy voice managed to make the feathers of zila bristling

"mas has tried to forget Zahra, but why did you even make dum meet again with him Zil why" said Daffa

"i just want to know how you feel about him, it's still the same"

"after you know, you ask to separate it is your goal"

"yes, I can't live in the shadow of your past, I can't__I can't" cried zila broke, ' she said ,

"i can't keep going, all you say is nonsense, NONSENSE"

"all your sweet sayings, just a tranquilizer in the midst of the bitter space of our staircase that is almost shipwrecked this daf"

Daffa descended from the body of the zila, Daffa positioned the zila to sit in front of him, at the grab of the body of the zila that had sobbed in his arms.

"sorry"

"STOP APOLOGIZING__STOP, HYPOCRITE"

"NONSENSE, YOU SAY YOU WANT TO START EVERYTHING FROM SCRATCH, HOW ABOUT TO START FROM SCRATCH IF THERE IS ONLY ZAHRA IN YOUR HEAD. YOUR WORDS ARE JUST BULLSHIT"

"and at any moment in your heart there will be Zahra there"

zila rebelled, trying to escape from the daffa's decapitation, but his strength was not comparable to Daffa's strength.