It's Not You I Want

chat in bed

As usual zila woke up at 2 am because she felt her throat dry, zila squinted her eyes adjust the dim light in the room, zila felt her stomach rubbed from behind.

"Daffa" Zila monologue

"You're awake" Daffa's heavy voice rang out clearly in zila's ears

"Why are you here"

"I forgot my room key again"

"What I woke you up"

"No, I haven't slept yet"

"why" asked zila astonished

"you said right, the baby moves at night, sleeps in the morning, so I don't sleep to wait for our child to move in your stomach"

"I also do not know for sure daf, the baby moves at an uncertain time, it happened that day the night__ I just felt her movement"

"So the baby's not staying up tonight"

"emm, maybe" replied the plain zila.

"Well, I've been trying to stay awake"

Zila stroked Daffa's fingers gently, zila knew how disappointed the man was, It made Daffa's eyes that had been closed Because sleepy, back awake because his hands in the soft elus of the wife, and his wife, Daffa felt getting the green light from the zila tightened his embrace.

"In the meantime, Daff, I want to change position" zila had a little trouble changing her position, not only because her stomach was getting bigger, but also because of the daffa's hand that did not want to take it off in the slightest.

Daffa also changed his position to be supine, in reaching zila hands to be grasped, there was no rejection from zila even though honestly there was still doubt in his heart.

"Zil"

"Hem"

"Do I know why you're accepting our match"

"You want me to be honest"

"of course, I want an honest answer"

"Because I admire you"

"since you first introduced yourself as the head of OSIS at school" continued zila bluntly , zila thought to what in the cover after all Daffa is now her husband.

true guess of his best friend, if zila put his heart for him, that's what Daffa's mind now.

" what's interesting about me?"

"you're a smart guy, a socialist, an achiever, Sholeh, and I've never seen you alone with a girl, rich 2 of your friends that's Siyapa's name"

"Adam is Erik"

"well, I don't like Erik the most"

"why"

"She likes to call me, I don't like it"

"Because Erik likes you, he's attracted to you, he says you're beautiful, and he's challenged to get you"

True Erik does save the sense of zila, Erik thought zila girl is different from other girls, closed attitude of zila save a sense of admiration and attraction for Erik, Erik also knows that if the student zila who achieves, Erik himself who went to the zila class to find information about zila.

hearing what Daffa said made the zila's mood change, no matter what in the woman's mind, Zila pulled her hand from Daffa's grasp, Daffa gasped in surprise.

"Zila, why, you're angry"

"i sleep, go to sleep"

"you're angry, why"

Daffa hugged zila back

"after all, I had trouble breathing"

"you're angry about why Zil, tell me, let me know, if you don't tell me how I know what makes you angry"

Silent, zila was silent, reluctant to answer Daffa's questions, her mood changed instantly.

"Zil"

"what"

"You're angry because I talked about Erik"

"i've been honest with my feelings, if I've been amazed by you since the first time you introduced yourself, why do you even mention other men who are interested in me, your friend who likes to talk to me in the back, likes to mock me, likes to say what I am, what because you want to remind me how inappropriate I am for you

"No, I don't mean Zil"

"i'm sleepy, I'm going to sleep"

Daffa rubbed his face rough, with his long wavy hair behind him, Daffa where know if zila at least like that with Erik, Daffa, where Daffa knows that talking about Erik's feelings to the zila can make this angry zila, Daffa just wants to talk, share the story with the zila, Please tell Daffa how to understand women, Daffa, it's so complicated for women.

"What should I do if you don't get angry anymore"

"quite silent"

"but I don't want to be kept quiet"

"zilaaa" said Daffa

"How about Zahra"

Daffa frowned, Daffa who had been lying down, turned to face the zila and hugged her from behind, this time the zila did not refuse.

"So how"

"what is Zil"

"Zahra?"

"Yes Zahra!! vice chairman of OSIS"

Daffa understood now what his wife meant,

"Why should Zahra Zil"

"why should Erik?"

"ok ok, why the same Zahra" Daffa finally resigned, arguing with zila will even make zila more angry

"You used to like him"

"Zil"

"yes what do you do"

"yes"

"kalo now how"

"zila". Daffa's tone of voice began to rise but did not snap, zila turned her body and hugged her, zila buried her face in the chest of Daffa field, did not lie Daffa happy to see zila embrace her like this

"ayoo story, I'm curious, later my son ngeces Lo out of curiosity"

"is that Zil?" Ask Daffused Daffa, after Daffa if his mother wants to eat something continue to be obeyed his son can ngeces, but zila will ask to tell about the figure of Zahra, why his son can have an impact

"iya__ I want to hear, let's tell you a story"

"ok, ok" Daffa rubbed the zila's back, took a breath before telling her about Zahra

.

"Zil, I'm an ordinary man I can fall in love with"

"yes I am also a regular Human I also fall in love, but dear love I clap one hand" zila cut off

"Zil we don't have to talk about this either"

"yes, I guess my heart is strong now, but it's not"

"Zil, you're the only one now, there's no other"

"yes now__not the first, or last, do not know later without the man knowing, zila laughed in his arms.

Daffa was also drifting in his mind, the sentence that zila uttered Always reflected in his head, Daffa tightened his embrace. Daffa could not confirm his feelings now, but Daffa really meant to start over.

Daffa stroked the Zila's long Surai plan, both of them feeling comfortable with the position of those who shared warmth in the arms, even though inside their heads, were fighting Matian to death.

"Zil's asleep"

"yet"

"why"

"Yes, papa's not"

"Defa"

"Hem"

"until now I still feel a dream if I marry you, the man I have wanted since school, my first love and I hope you are my last love, my last love, yes it was my hope when I knew my father had me betrothed to you, but after marriage why I doubt"

Daffa who had been gently stroking zila, stopped from hearing the zila, daffa loosened his arms to look at the zila face that looked sweet, daffa could see his wife's face clearly, daffa could see her, the face of the woman he always made to cry, the woman he always snapped at, the woman he never wanted to be his presence, Daffa understood, well understood why zila said that.

"sorry to me"

"sorry Zil"

"sorry"

Daffa re-embraced the woman's body. his oral ceaselessly said istighfar, for what he had done to his own wife, the woman who will soon be a mother to his child.