Sharing Love: My Husband Married Without My Permission

96. Sorry about the Past

"You must be more careful, because with you living alone, more trials and temptations come close to you. Especially the men. You have to be careful, yeah."

The deg!

Arga's words made my heart feel strange. I don't know what it looks like, but make this chest pound. Geez, this sense ... What's wrong with me?

Don't let anything make me careless and disavow what I said yesterday to Doctor Wira. It would be unfair to let this feeling turn into something unwanted. I need to be able to take care of myself and my feelings for others.

"Yes, of course I'll take care of myself. Thank you" I said to him.

Arga smiled as he nodded, then refocused on the road ahead.

The atmosphere came back silent no one spoke between us. Risma was also still asleep.

We were almost half an hour on the road and were still silent. Every now and then Arga glanced at me, I knew from the corner of this eye, and I could only lower my head. Shame and I don't know why I want to get home and no longer get close to him.

"Your house, where is it? I kind of forgot" said Arga.

I raised my head and looked around. It's close to my alley.

"Em, that. Still ahead. Not far, though." I pointed towards the front. Arga just nodded his head.

"Geez, it's been a long time since I've been here" he said with a small laugh.

I also laughed remembering the past with this man. In the bonceng using a large motorbike until I had trouble getting up or down using a short school skirt, so he parked the bike first after that helped me to get down.

I'm just a poor girl who's never been on a big bike at all, and with Arga I feel like girls in the TV drama I watched in her time.

"Why laugh?" asked Arga, now the car is approaching a large alley to the house.

"Nothing" I replied. I'm embarrassed to talk about what I was thinking.

"lik! If there's nothing you're thinking about, there's no way you're laughing like that." Arga.

"What the hell? I'm being a kepo!"

"That's it, no!" I really don't want to repeat the past.

"Yes," he said resignedly.

"Eh, which one is this? It's been a long time, everything's changed a lot. I forgot where it turned."

I pointed at the alley that was still a few hundred meters away from here. Arga just nodded and slowed down the speed of his car so as not to kebablasan.

"It right?" ask Arga. I'm nodding. He turned the car into a big alley. It is enough for two cars to pass through even if one has to give in to stop.

"There were still many trees around here, now it has changed a lot into homes and shops" said Arga.

"Yes. A lot has changed" I replied.

"You've also changed a lot, Yu."

"Eh? What's?" I looked at him in an incomprehensible way.

"Eh. Nah! Hehe. Sorry," he said with a small laugh.

"Just like this place, you change a lot. Growing up," he added.

"Eh, yes. The more age you have to be more mature," said I try to behave normally, but in this heart it feels unreasonable.

"Yes. I'm glad to see you again, Yu. I thought we wouldn't see each other again." I lowered my head, somehow not wanting to look at her at all. His words made me feel strange.

"I'm sorry, about the past that has happened to you because of me," Arga said again.

"Which one?"

"That was until the police caught him. I don't know if it turns out Vano took you to the apartment" Arga said in a quiet voice.

"It's okay, it's the past, why regret it?"

I heard heavy breathing from him.

"You're not the police coming, maybe we're not going our separate ways, Yu."

My reflexes were staring at him. Arga was only focused on the road ahead. He talks like this, does he still wish for me?

"I'm a wearer, but I can still hold myself back. That day I didn't wear any illegal stuff, but the police came and took us. I still feel guilty from that time. If Vano does not take you there, you will not be disappointed because you know I am a wearer and also worse we have to separate," Arga said sounding sad.

Arga also told me after what happened that time until he disappeared from school. Even his friends do not know where to go, it turns out Arga entered a rehabilitation center and sent the father to his grandfather's place.

"I'm sorry, yes." I regret it once again.

"That's it, Ga. I said it was just the past, too" I told him.

"I don't want to talk about that anymore. Maybe that's the best way for us, so you don't fall deeper into the wrong path."

"hem, yes. I think so, it could be that if there were no police maybe I could have fallen worse, but unfortunately all that you saw. Did I make you sad first?" ask Arga again.

I'm nodding. "Yes, I am sad because the people I know are not doing well" I replied.

Once again Arga sighed and exhaled violently.

"I'm so sorry, Yu."

I can't say anything more to answer it. Hearing her regret like that made my feelings strange but also became relieved, we fell silent after that.

I don't know about Arga, but I honestly feel uncomfortable right now. I want to get home and sleep.

Fortunately it is not too far away, from here until only a few minutes the car has arrived in front of the house.

Arga looked towards my house.

"Everything has changed, but the house is still the same" Arga said.

I smiled, it turns out Arga still remembers this house that there is no change except paint and tile that is no longer weathered.

"Yes, everything here hasn't changed, Ga. It's still the same as it used to be" I said.

Arga is still staring at the house where Mom and I live.

"Yes, it's still the same, it hasn't changed. And I hope you don't change either. Stay strong as I used to know."