Sharing Love: My Husband Married Without My Permission

105. Must be Resolute

"So that's according to the good Mom Ayu? What if I don't feel good about any of them?" ask the Hero Doctor to me.

I froze hearing his question. Whether it is good or not, of course, he can choose.

"But there is one of them who is better and deserves to be with the Doctor of Hero.I'm sorry, Doctor. Regarding this, I guess I've hurt Doctor Wira's feelings. I'm sorry I can't return Doctor Wira's feelings. I want to focus first on my life" I told him.

If it's called unpleasant, I'm not feeling good about him. He's been kind and helped me and Mom. But what if this heart had no shakes at all? Wouldn't if I gave him a chance it would make him even more hurt?

There was laughter from Doctor Wira, making me wonder to look at him.

He opened his glasses and shrunk something in the corner of his eye.

"I'm sorry. Have I made Mbak Ayu not feel good? I should have done this slowly. I am in too much of a hurry to say this for the sake of wanting to get Ayu Mbak. Im sorry. I understood and I resigned," said Doctor Wira. I looked at him with no understanding.

"I'm sorry, I won't force Ms Ayu again. Feelings cannot be forced. Whatever persistence I approach Mbak Ayu, if Mbak Ayu is not pleased and there is no sense with me, is not it also free? I will turn into water or wind. Flowing slowly, and will not force the will again on Mbak Ayu," he said again. My heart is relieved to hear this, but it also pityes her because her love was rejected.

"I'm sorry, Doctor," I told him.

Doctor Wira nodded his head.

"It's okay. It was not from the beginning that Ayu was wrong. I was the one who was too pushy to want Mbak Ayu to accept me."

We were silent after that.

"I believe, if the soul mate will not go where, including if Mbak Ayu is my soul mate later. I will feel very happy, but if not, I will still be happy because I know Mbak Ayu," said Wira Doctor.

How sincere this man said, but I had absolutely no taste for him. If there was just a slight shiver in the heart for him, I might give him a chance.

...***...

Ever since that meeting with Doctor Wira on his nephew's birthday party, I've been feeling bad. Afraid that he still holds an upset let alone until vengeance against me.

"What's wrong with you, Yu? You see from a few days ago how moody do you keep?" ask Mom to me. The shop was quiet and I just sat there watching a movie, but I don't know, the movie I watched just seemed to run without being able to enjoy it.

"It's okay, Mom."

"You got a problem?" ask Mom again.

I shook my head.

"When you come home from the Doctor of Hero, you look down."

Duh, what does it look like, huh?

"What's up, anyway?" urge Mother.

I turned off the laptop and sat facing Mom.

"What did you do?" Mom looks confused. I told you what happened between us that night. I didn't tell her about the welcome of her parents, afraid that later Mom would expect a lot.

Mother listened carefully, and then she heard a heavy sigh.

"Doctor Wira is good, Yu. He seems sincere about you, but if you don't want to be with him, how else? The heart cannot be forced. After all, I also do not want to force you to be close to him even though I also want to," said Mother. My face looks disappointed. This is because I don't want to be close to anyone, including Doctor Hero.

"Yes, just think about it now, Yu. What is best for you. Doctor Wira is already kind, handsome, sincere, well established as well. What is less than him? Is it because he wears glasses? Just order an eye operation so you don't have to wear glasses!" my mother sounded annoyed.

Uh, why do you mention glasses?

"Mom, I have no problem with men wearing glasses" I protested.

"Hem, didn't you refuse Ardi because of the glasses?" ask Mom to get up and go.

"Mom! That's Ardi! I don't know if he doesn't wear glasses anymore. Look at me, the one in front of him is still not visible!" I shouted loudly at Mother who was now disappearing behind the door of the middle room.

Astaghfirullah, why should I equate Doctor Wira with Ardi? He's a neighbor's son, not far from here. Men my age and wearing glasses with thick lenses. We were pretty good friends from Elementary to Junior High School, our High School is in a separate place. Ardi did like me a long time ago, but I rejected him because I used to think the guy with the glasses was not cool.

I like Ardi because he's a good boy, I used to wish I was a match with him, but I made it clear to Mom that I don't like men with glasses and I explained why. What if he loses his glasses? Wouldn't he be like a bat by day? It might sound silly, but I used to think so.

Regarding Physician Hero, I don't think so. He is handsome, I think also the glasses support his appearance. Whether he wears glasses or not, he is handsome. But this is a matter of the heart. No longer a matter of appearance. What else do I have to be self-aware of who I am, my status.

...***...

I've taken care of the ID card and moved the KK to reunite with Mom. It felt relieved as well after I was completely free from all of that. Not too difficult because Mr. RT helped me until the process arrived at the Dispendukcapil office. There I took care of it myself because there was a directive from the officers.

The job application file I prepared from last night. Today I'm going to apply for a job at the company that Diana applied for last night. Recommendation from a friend.

The clock has shown the number seven in the morning, I must hurry so that before eight in the morning I have arrived there.

"So off?" mother asked from the doorway, visible from the mirror in front of me. Without even looking, I answered Mom's question.

"So, Mom. It's okay, isn't Ayu staying? Ayu already told Yu Tarni to help meenin Mom at home," I said. One sharp needle with a round, white weir I pinned to the cloth under the chin.

"Don't always bother the others, Yu. I'm okay to be left at home by myself" said Mom.

The bag on the mattress I took along with the job application map.

"I don't want anything to happen to Mom. She was a wayward mother, not to be silent!" pissed me.

"All the housework has been done, cooking has also been done. I have breakfast, the dishes do not wash, let Ayu come home from the washing job later," I said. Mom just snorted.

"Mother is healthy, not a disability, not a stroke!" mother said with annoyance.