Sharing Love: My Husband Married Without My Permission

312. Help me Gut

“I don't give you an answer,” he said still down. There is a sense of relief that I feel in my heart. This meant that the opportunity to approach him was still there.

“Next week he will come again to find the answer,” he said this time which makes my heart shrink.

“Keep later what do you want to answer?”

“It looks like I'll answer ‘iya’,” he replied. It feels like someone broke my heart, pain is not bleeding like it used to be.

“If ... I ask you to reject it how?” I spoke without shame and fear anymore. Afraid of losing him that would make me brave like that. Instantly he lifted his head and looked at me confusedly, our eyes clashing against each other. A second later he lowered his head.

“If I reject him now, when will I get married? While my age is not young anymore, while now there are people who want to be the same as me,” he said softly.

“I. If I may marry you,” I say more boldly. He looked back at me, this time a little longer and did not throw his gaze away again.

“Sorry. If it seems like I do not deserve you, it's just that I want you to know that actually I have a heart with you all this time,” I said with confidence.

“Hah? Meaning?”

“I'm sure like you,” I replied from his question.

He opened his mouth to form the letter o without making any sound at all, his eyes slightly teary I saw.

“If possible, I want to be selfish to be able to have you. Am I too late now if I want to keep you?” ask him.

It feels very sorry for not realizing yesterday I said something like this to the Goddess. After that I heard the news of my courage just appeared.

I waited for the Goddess's reply, but not the words I got only her cries now sounded heartbreaking. I don't understand the meaning of that cry.

“I don't know, you go home first,” he said. He kicked me out this time. Things he never did to me.

“I asked you to go home first,” the door again then he stood up and went into his room. I sat alone in the living room, it was so tight in my chest to see him cry like that. I don't know why because he was crying. Is it because I just?

I don't know what else to do here. It was obvious that he told me to go home, but instead of going home now I walked towards Ani's house.

“Assalamualaikum.” I salute the owner of the house who then answered a reply from inside by a man. Before long the door opened, Mas Faris, the husband of Ani opened the door.

“Eh no Hilman. Let's go in,” bargain and ask me to go inside the house. He also invited me to sit on the sofa.

“Tumben Hilman is here. Is there a need?” ask her.

“I want to meet Ani, can?”

The man's forehead shriveled, but then he nodded his head. “Awhile I called my wife first,” she said then stood up and went to another room. From where I was sitting I could see the children of Ani and Mas Faris were watching TV.

“You also know what I'm here for,” I said without answering the question.

“Oh, definitely about Dewi ya?” I nodded my head. “have met him?”

“Butusan me to her house, I also said that I like her and told her not to accept the man. But he was crying, did I say wrong like that?” ask him. I also talked about what we were talking about at the Goddess' house.

Ani just kept quiet and thought. “True or wrong I don't know either. What else does he say?” ask him after I finish the story.

“He said nothing, just cry and tell me to come home,” I said to him.

“If the hell I think the Goddess also likes you deh. How could it be if he gave me the answer hanging like that," he said. I just shut up, tried to think but couldn't at all. I still wonder why she was crying like that.

“Keep me how?”

“Yes we have to ask again Dewi.”

“If it turns out he still accepts other people's applications?”

“Ya means you will still remain single,” he said even make me upset. I asked her for advice but found no answer at all.

“Keep what do you want?” ask Ani to me.

“Yes help me to cancel their meeting. If you can convince the Goddess not to accept the man.”

“That's the hell your name is selfish.”

“I just want to fight for my love, nothing wrong right?” ask him. And being called selfish like that I don't care anymore. I consider myself a selfish human being.

We were silent for a while. Think about what to do after this. Even if the Goddess accepts the male proposal what should I do? Am I gonna ruin their wedding?

I shook my head. This evil thought suddenly flashed through my head.

“Don't you think a no-no huh?” ani asked a suspicious glance at me.

I shook my head. “It looks like the demon inside me is rebelling” my reply made him shudder in horror.

“Do not do anything strange, he will not like you but he will hate you.” pointed it right on my face.

“What do you think I'll do?” I asked him to know what he was guessing.

“You were their wedding,” she replied which made me look at her in horror. Can he read my mind?